How to refuse a man in order to tie him down. How to beautifully refuse a guy an offer to meet, a date or intimacy, so that he is not offended

...I’m honestly warning you,” the Queen shouted and stamped her foot.
- Either we will lose your company, or you will lose your nakedness.
Decide now - no, twice as fast!

Lewis Carroll "Alice in Wonderland"

The more a man is sick in the head, the more difficult it is for him to refuse or end the affair. Let's talk about refusals “from scratch”. That is, if nothing has happened between you yet, and you wouldn’t want it to happen. It is very difficult not to offend a man. The male psychology that has developed over centuries is the psychology of the conqueror. A woman is an assessment, an indicator of his success, irresistibility, sexual attractiveness and everything else. Refusal is a slap in the face, a blow to male pride. You didn't choose him because he wasn't handsome, rich, sexy or smart enough. This means that somewhere there is a better male, or the woman is just an idiot for not appreciating such a treasure and is waiting for someone unknown. Hence the fights and humiliation of you with various bad words, set-ups at work and spreading rumors, signs in the entrances and threats. A situation may arise in which you will no longer be important, but the very principle of “conquering and holding at any cost” is what is most important. It starts from childhood. Everyone wants to be friends with the best person in the class, hang out with the most beautiful girl in the yard, but, not getting what they want, they settle for a deskmate or girlfriend of the beautiful and smart girl. Or they accumulate complexes within themselves, masturbating to magazine beauties.

In order for a man not to be offended by your refusal, you need to deceive him so that he does not feel rejected, or show yourself in such a way that he himself does not want to make contact. Let's face it, we often ourselves give rise to harassment. We dance provocatively, laugh wildly or make eyes. We go to dinner, thinking that they are feeding us for talking and the pleasure of looking at us, we put on short skirts and walk, swaying our hips. We promise, but don’t give, we give a signal: “I’m a female, I want it!”, and then we play hard to get and play at offended innocence. So The best way- do not lead to harassment. And if you did...

An unfamiliar man on the street produces an original or not so original set of words on the topic: “Come on!” Possible answers:

Sorry, I'm in a hurry. But you can call me on this phone (a fake phone number is given);

My husband is sitting in that car over there (indicating a congestion of vehicles) and I think he will not be delighted with our acquaintance;

Sorry, but I already love one man. And I can’t look at anyone anymore. You are very cute, it’s true, but please understand me, I’m sorry (make a sad, idiotic expression on your face).

Young man, you have high self-esteem!

I don't want. I just don't want to. I won't tell you why. I just don't want to.

How wonderful! I'm just going to a meeting of our religious community. Will you join me?

Let's meet! And when? No, I can’t do it on Tuesday, I’m going to have an abortion, I’ll rest on Wednesday, let’s do it on Friday!

Sorry, but I don't want to meet you. If you insist, I will call the police.

I'm really sorry, you're so cute, but I only like brunettes (blonds, redheads). No, we won’t try it, sorry, that’s just a feature. Do you want us to be friends?

Do you have a car? No? And do you meet such a girl if you don’t have a car? And why are you without flowers? How are you dressed? Do you think that in this form you have a chance?

Sorry, I don't meet men on the street. This rule is.

The main thing is to answer politely, with a smile, but to be persistent and consistent. Don’t say your name and phone number, or, conversely, give all the coordinates and say that you and your husband will be very glad to see him visiting. And he even has a girlfriend in mind. You'll definitely introduce me. You must look either like an impregnable fortress or a complete idiot. There are no other options.

If this is an acquaintance, co-worker, friend of a friend, the tactics should be similar, but more subtle.

Method one: tell them that you are a femme fatale and promised yourself not to make new connections (except for your husband or lover, who you already have). Such a sad experience for you! Suicide attempts and scenes of jealousy, unhappy men crying on your chest and abandoned wives with numerous children. No, you can't destroy anymore! It's time to put an end to it. And he will not become another victim. There were already enough of them (fictional characters are listed). It will be better for you and for him to see each other less often and not bring up this topic again.

Method two: if you don’t have a man, and the man knows about it, play at being a depressed, melancholic person, cry, feel sorry for yourself. Tell her that you are not ready for a new relationship because men are such bastards. Tell me something terrible story male betrayal. And ask him to wait. How much - you don't know. But in such a state you cannot start a new relationship. Repeat often: “You understand me.” And smile guiltily. Men don't know how to wait.

Method three: talk about what a wonderful man you have next to you. How he looks after you, protects you, what a wonderful lover, husband, father, breadwinner, how afraid you are of losing him. How can this be changed? And you don't need it. You're so happy. And he will find himself a woman worthy. May I help?
Method four: You're busy. And in love. And they love you. Now let him imagine that someone is seducing his beloved woman. Would he be pleased?

Method five: You have a very angry and jealous lover. Second dan in karate. You're afraid of him. If he finds out, he will kill both of them. If not a karateka, then a bandit or a businessman. Nobody knows about him because you are dating secretly. He is married, but he loves you madly. Have you seen the movie "Bodyguard"?

There are actually many more ways. You probably have a lot of them yourself. The main thing is to immediately assess who is pestering you, his weak sides. It's like a business negotiation where someone has to give in. Do not be rude or arrogant under any circumstances. This is what infuriates men the most. Be polite and cheerful. After all, it’s really nice when you are chosen from a crowd of girls, colleagues or acquaintances coming towards you. It's flattering, it confirms that you're making progress on the bitchy path. So let's not mock those who are left behind, under our sharp heels. I feel sorry for you, of course, miserable ones... But it’s impossible to make everyone happy! Even mothers of 3 children.

If a certain guy has sympathy for you, and you understand that for some reason you cannot reciprocate his feelings, then try to present your refusal in the most polite form. At the same time, it is important to observe moderation - not to become rude, but also not to answer so softly as if you were flirting.

How to politely refuse a guy without offending him

Refuse to meet someone when you are not interested in him

Refuse further communication to a stranger much easier than for someone you know, so don’t make a big deal out of it. If similar situation formed somewhere on the street, just answer: “Sorry, I’m in a hurry. Besides, I have a boyfriend." Such a short and very informative answer will probably save you from an unwanted acquaintance.

Refuse an invitation to a date

If we are talking about a young man you don’t know well, then the situation is simpler - you have the opportunity to almost painlessly stop all further attempts to get closer. The easiest way is to say that you already have a boyfriend, and he obviously won't be happy if you decide to go on a date. A little the situation is more complicated, if you know a man well who wants to invite you to a romantic meeting. In this case, he is probably aware of the details of your personal life. If you are not sure that you will not change your mind about this guy, then say that in the near future you are busy with work (study, family matters), and you can return to this conversation no earlier than, for example, in a couple of weeks. During this time, you will be able to think about everything and decide how interesting this young man is to you. If you are convinced that you do not want to go on a date with him in a month or a year, then you will have to act more decisively. Be clear that you don't want to date at this time. You don't have to go into details. Explain to the man that you treat him wonderfully, but look at the situation soberly and see no point in transferring your relationship with him to another format.

Gently “shut off” during a personal meeting

You can directly admit to a guy that in order to start dating or at least go on a date, it is important for you to feel a certain “chemistry”, but now this is not the case. Perhaps your heart is already occupied by someone else - in this case, tell your admirer about it. If he simply seems unattractive or uninteresting to you, then it is better not to focus on this - it is better to voice another, albeit far-fetched, reason for your refusal - otherwise you can develop complexes in a person for many years. If you know that a personal meeting awaits you, it is better to think about the reason for the refusal in advance, so that you are definitely not caught cheating. Don't say that you just don't want a relationship with someone if that's not really the case and you're attracted to someone. It is better to admit that you have sympathy for another person, because if soon after your refusal you start dating another guy, the young man whom you “send away” will feel deceived.

Gently refuse an offer to go for a walk

It would be stupid to respond to an offer to go for a walk: “I have a boyfriend!”, because, in fact, the man is not offering you a relationship yet. In general, this even makes your task easier. Of course, often a walk is followed by proposals for a relationship, and, anticipating this, girls try to get rid of the fan they don’t like in advance. So, what reasons for refusal will sound quite natural:

Fatigue.

Busy.

It's nice to refuse communication

Of course, when a kind and polite man shows personal interest in us, whom we for some reason do not consider as a potential chosen one, we do not want to voice a rude or insulting refusal. What is the right thing to do? First of all, let the person know that you are very pleased that today he has singled you out from other women and you are grateful to him for this. Note that you like him as a person, but nevertheless you do not want to give him false hopes. Tell him that you respect him very much, so you don’t want to deceive or mislead him. Admit that there are some reasons why you do not want to develop a relationship, and you are sure that this is unchanged. Your refusal should sound unambiguous and firm, so that the fan does not live under illusions. Let him know that you don't believe your communication is meaningful and you don't want to test it. Reassure him that over time he will see for himself that he needs another person.

How to tactfully refuse a man's offer to date

It is important to convey to the man that you really do not want to date him, but this should be done very delicately. However, he should realize that your “no” is just that, and you are not trying to “pull yourself up” or anything like that. You must voice your refusal in a personal conversation, avoiding the presence of any witnesses.

Don’t forget that if a man offers you a relationship, it means that at least he likes you, he singled you out and noted you. That is why you should not behave arrogantly or aggressively with him, treat him with understanding. Admit that his attention flatters you, and you treat him with respect as a person, but you do not want to give him vain hopes, “lead him by the nose” or keep him in uncertainty. Tell him that he deserves to know your true attitude right away - you don't mind supporting friendly relations, but you don’t see him as your chosen one, and you are sure that this will not change. It is quite possible that after this you will really be able to establish friendly contact with this guy for many years.

How to properly refuse sex to a guy so that he doesn’t get offended

Of course, if you do not have a close relationship with a guy (you are not dating as a couple, you have not expressed serious feelings for each other), then you should not worry that refusing sex will offend him - this is a completely natural answer. Say directly that intimacy is possible for you only in a relationship with your boyfriend or fiancé, but not otherwise. It's another matter if we are talking about a young man with whom you are already in a relationship. In this case, since you are together, it is obvious that you like him and in the future you are considering the option of having sex. In this case, gently explain to him why this is impossible right now. So, what are the options: You need to get used to it Some girls find it difficult to decide to have sex almost immediately after they start dating a young man. Tell your guy that you are one of those girls who needs to fully realize that you are now a couple, and you want to get used to this feeling. Designate approximate period. Speak confidentially and softly. If a guy cares about you, he is unlikely to insist. However, it is still important to indicate at least approximate deadlines. You are a virgin and this is an important step for you If this is really the case, then there is no point in hiding it or hushing it up. Admit to the guy that you have not been intimate with other men before, and you need some time to decide to take this step. There is nothing strange or wild about this - for virgin girls such behavior is quite expected. You don't want to be distracted If you have already had sex, but now you don’t want to get closer, then you can tell the guy that you are immersed in thoughts about something else (problems at work, family troubles), and you don’t want him to get involved because of your distraction. these questions ruined your intimate evening. Admit that you are in a very bad mood, and this is not the best moment to give each other tenderness, but you want everything to be “on top.”

The most successful phrases for refusal in a comic form

If you want to add a little humor to your refusal, there are a few tricks you can take note of. As you know, many young people are wary of overly religious girls, and you can play on this! If a guy asks you out on a date, you might say, “That's a good idea, but usually... free time I'm hosting in our religious community, so I suggest we meet there. Moreover, we need new participants! Call me when you decide!” In this case, you can leave a “fake” phone number. You can also answer this way: “I have four children, and I have no one to leave them with, so choose a place for a date that will be interesting for my children too!” If, after such statements, a young man still calls you, then it makes sense to look at him with a new eye - perhaps he is still worthy of attention?

In a woman’s life, situations often arise that require her to be able to say “no.” Moreover, speak firmly, in a tone that does not tolerate objections, realizing your own decision as the only correct one in the current circumstances.

Such a step on the part of a representative of the fairer sex is especially important when the latter is subjected to the onslaught of an unsympathetic, even unpleasant, man. In today's article we bring to your attention practical advice who can help properly and without serious consequences refuse the gentleman further communication.

When saying “no,” remain friendly and as tactful as possible.

You understand that by refusing a man, you still hurt his pride one way or another. Therefore, if you don’t want to run into rejection in the form of insults and, in some cases—guys are different—assault, discard rudeness and contempt.

Be decisive in this matter.

There is no need to commit violence against yourself by being in the company of a person you find unpleasant, to whom you feel indifference or, even more so, disgust throughout the evening.

Women make this mistake quite often if, for example, the acquaintance happened almost “blindly”: by phone or on the Internet. It is better, having finally seen a man, talked a little and not felt the slightest interest in him, to make it clear to the interlocutor that there will be no continuation. This is even more relevant in the case when you don’t like a person already during the period of communication preceding a possible date.

You shouldn't give a man false hopes.

Do not respond to a proposal for a meeting with phrases like “let’s do it later”, “I can’t do it yet, I’m not ready”, “I’ll think about it”, “we’ll see”, etc., etc. Remember: by delaying the inevitable outcome, you are creating problems for yourself. It’s better to put an end to this story in one fell swoop, without allowing it to develop further.

Be sure to state the reason for the refusal.

The fan will probably want to hear it, and he has the right to demand an explanation from you. Here you can use your imagination: come up with a plausible reason, for example, “I already have a boyfriend,” “I don’t have office romances as a matter of principle.” By the way, don’t be afraid to say directly that you don’t like a man. Just do it loyally, gently, or through hints, half-jokingly (“my taste is exclusively for “nerds”), so as not to offend the annoying representative of the stronger sex.

There's no need to go on a whole tirade.

The refusal should be extremely short, but succinct and it is advisable not to raise additional questions.

Observe yourself from the outside if the word “no” with all the accompanying phrases does not have any effect on a man, and he continues to attack you.

Your speech and your behavior are probably not the same. Most women flirt with members of the opposite sex unconsciously, without noticing it themselves. Flirting gestures include licking parted lips, sneaking a glance from under the eyelashes, shaking hair, winding a lock of hair around a finger while talking, a languid smile, bright color lipstick, etc.

If your fan is being overly persistent and all of the above recommendations have had no effect, try the following steps:

Ignoring.

Having refused once according to the rules, stop paying attention to the person altogether. Look through him as if the man were not there; do not answer questions and do not carry on the conversation when he starts a conversation with you; immerse yourself in a book (or pretend to) or put on headphones. At the same time, maintain an indifferent, even cold, expression on your face. Such maneuvers are guaranteed to work, because it’s not for nothing that they say: “He who kills with a word finishes off with silence.”

Tell a big lie to the annoying gentleman about yourself so as to once and for all discourage him from pestering you. Tell him about your terrible addictions (“I drink, smoke, go to seedy places”), if a representative of the stronger sex gives the impression of an unspoiled, cultured intellectual, and, conversely, about your abstruse hobbies and interests (“I listen to Mozart, read Stendhal and Flaubert, I love opera and the avant-garde") in the case of a man belonging to the category of broken and narrow-minded subjects.

Go on a date.

Yes, yes, go to a meeting with your boyfriend, heed his ardent requests! But become an artist for one evening: play the role of a girl who is far from the ideal of a fan. Wear whatever you can get your hands on, skip makeup, don’t wear a chic hairstyle on your head, and at dinner start a conversation about your illnesses or the coming apocalypse, and always in a mournful voice. You won't see that annoying fan again!

Offer friendship.

If a person is really in love with you, he will agree to this option. After all, the latter will allow a man to freely communicate with you and get to know you. You will buy faithful comrade, which will console Hard time, and will share joy with you and give practical advice. Gradually, you will most likely get used to this person, you will see him positive sides, you will feel sympathy for him, and maybe something more. Psychologists say: the most strong love(not falling in love!) grows precisely from friendship. Good luck to you!

Nadezhda Ponomarenko

Contents of the article:

In the lives of most representatives of the fair sex, situations occur when they are forced to refuse young people. Being asked out on a date is the most common circumstance in which a woman often wants to say no. Refusal occurs due to a number of reasons: the young man does not inspire confidence, he is very persistent, his appearance or financial situation does not meet expectations. As a last resort, the girl cannot go/travel with him because she has a lot of things to do. In fact, there are many reasons and situations when it may be necessary to refuse a man: an invitation to visit, intimacy, a trip to your parents, to a friend’s birthday, and so on.

Ways to refuse a man

If you want to refuse a man and still look decent, ask yourself the following questions:

I want to refuse a man for the following purposes:

raise your self-esteem and look advantageous against its background
show a man that you are different and not on the same path

After the refusal, after I voice the refusal, I want him to:

became even more confident

took a hit to my self-esteem.

The ethically correct answer to both questions is the first one. However, as we all understand, in our lives there are possible various situations. And yet, trying to dominate by degrading a man can even be dangerous.

6 ways to refuse a guy gracefully

Be as tactful as possible. Delicacy and showing understanding for a man’s feelings will help you.
Be decisive. Stand firm and don't waver.
Don't give false hopes. This will only make the situation worse. You should not use phrases like “I need to think” or “I’m confused.”
You cannot hide the reason for the refusal. The guy has a right to hear the explanation. But under no circumstances should you call the real reason, if it can hurt a man’s pride. Here it is important to come up with something, for example, “I already have a boyfriend.”
If all of the above methods did not help and after you honestly and firmly announced to the man that you do not want to be with him, he continues to pursue you, use the old women's reception- ignoring.

If a woman does not want to do something, go somewhere or meet someone, then she should know how to politely refuse a man. A well-thought-out refusal will not only not hurt the pride of a male representative, but will also put you in the most favorable light.

How to refuse a man with dignity?

First, be persistent. If you really decide to refuse, then you should not hesitate in your decision. Otherwise, your eyes will run around, a smile will light up your face, and that’s all a man needs. Not even 5 minutes will pass when he will be able to convince you and achieve his goal.

Secondly, any refusal must begin with an apology. You must apologize for not being able to go/travel with him. Having heard the apology, the man will be disposed towards you and will perceive the continuation of your information more affably and understandingly.

How to politely refuse a man?

We continue to learn about how to refuse a man with dignity. After apologizing, you must provide the reason for your refusal. Why can't you fulfill his wish? The reasons can be very different: starting from the fact that you have a headache, ending with the fact that you urgently need to go to your mother. It's better if the reason is real. But, if you are not going to build a relationship with this representative of the stronger sex, then a fictional story will be the best option.

How to turn a man off correctly?

The last stage of refusal can be pleasant words addressed to the man. Of course, they will depend on how close this young man is to you, whether you feel sympathy for him or whether you never want to see him again. In the first case, complete the failure nice words. Tell them that next time you will definitely go. In general, you will do everything as he wants. In the second case, encourage the man. Tell him that you are not for him, but he will definitely meet a girl with whom he will live happily ever after. In no case “be led by the nose” young man if you don't like him. It’s better to tell the whole truth in person here and now than to be afraid to leave the house later.

How to send a guy politely?

Now you know how to refuse a man without hurting his pride. Don't be afraid to express your opinion if you don't want something. In this case, the man will appreciate you more.

Orthodox calendar

Monday, February 18, 2019(February 5, old style)
Week about the Publican and the Pharisee
St. Theodosius, Archbishop. Chernigovsky (1696)
Mts. Agathia (251)
Saints' Day:
Mts. Theodulia and martyrdom. Helladia, Macaria and Evagria (c. 304).
Day of Remembrance of Confessors and New Martyrs of the Russian Church:
Prmts. Alexandra Kasparova, martyr. Mikhail Amelyushkin (1942).
Day of Veneration of the Icons of the Mother of God:
Eletsk-Chernigov (1060), Sicilian, or Divnogorsk (1092), and called “Recovery of the Lost” (XVII) icons of the Mother of God.
The week about the publican and the Pharisee is continuous.
Readings of the day
Gospel and Apostle:
In lit.: -Ap.: 2 Pet.1:20-2:9 Ev.: Mark 13:9-13
Psalter:
In the morning: - Ps.24-31; Ps.32-36; Ps.37-45 For eternity: - Ps.119-133