State of stun after coma. Traumatic brain injury. Paralysis after a stroke

It seems like only yesterday you walked together happy to the altar. Until now, joyful cries of “Bitter!” are heard in my head. And everything that happened seemed like a fairy tale that happened to you in reality. And then suddenly you wake up.

Flowers, champagne and tears of happiness dissolve into a cruel reality. And instead of the status of a happy bride, you get a new one - bitchy ex-wife. The question arises of how to deal with the ex-husband. In this article we will try to consider all possible strategies of behavior in this situation.

Habitual reactions of the ex-spouse

First, let's analyze the typical reactions of a man to a divorce:

Pretends like nothing happened. This type of male behavior is characteristic of those who perceive you as property and do not want to part with it. And not because he loves you madly. Now he has to cook dinner himself, wash his socks, iron his shirts and deal with paying utility bills. In this situation, a man is ready to do anything, just to return everything as it was. If you have begun to notice that your ex-husband has begun to take care of you, this should make you wary. Thoughts that “maybe I still love my ex-husband,” drive away. Most often, this concern is feigned, just sit down and think about why you got divorced and whether it is worth stepping on the same rake again.
Forced communication because of children. The situation with divorce becomes more difficult when there is a child in the family. As a rule, men do not want to communicate with their ex-wife, but they are forced to do this for the sake of their beloved child. Often a woman, looking at how her son / daughter rejoices at the arrival of her father, experiences a huge sense of guilt, because of which she may unconsciously turn the child against her father. It is absolutely impossible to do so. In the future, this may turn into the fact that the child will hate the mother because she interfered with his relationship with his father. If you really find it hard to watch their warm relationship, then you need a family psychologist. Perhaps he will be able to overcome your guilt and improve relations with your ex-husband.
Threatening, spreading rumours. Most often this happens if the initiator of the divorce was a woman. In a man, thus, resentment speaks. Of course, it is not pleasant that your ex spreads rumors and thereby denigrates you in the eyes of relatives and friends. But in this situation it is better to just feel sorry for him and not try to take revenge. Perhaps, when the offense passes, he himself will ask you for forgiveness. If there is a possibility that your ex-husband is able to somehow physically harm you and carry out his threats, then you need to immediately write police report!
Closes in on itself. It's not just women who tend to get depressed after a divorce. Men are also subject to emotional anguish and remorse. They can spend hours scrolling through all your quarrels, insults in their heads and regret that they did not understand in time how to find an approach to their already ex-wife. In this situation, you may have rushed to divorce. If you still have feelings for your partner, you can try to restore your marriage. Family psychologist will help you learn to listen to each other, respect and appreciate.

Woman's behavior

With women, in this regard, everything is easier. They have only two typical behaviors:

Beautiful and happy. Thus, a woman tries to raise her self-esteem. Agree, after 5-10 years of marriage you rarely hear from your spouse: “You are so beautiful with me” or “How lucky I am to grab such a beauty!”. That is why many women dive headlong into a series of meaningless novels, just to prove to themselves that she is still capable of something. But this period does not last long, about a couple of months, then the woman becomes depressed.
Broken and desperate. The same mechanism as in the first paragraph, only in reverse. At first, the woman is moping and does not know what to do with her ex-husband. Then she begins to gradually feel the taste of life. Changes hair, style, maybe even work. Freed from daily worries, the girl feels like a heavy burden has fallen from her fragile shoulders. But now, knowing what life in marriage is, she is in no hurry to go down the aisle again.

Cohabitation after divorce

There are also more advanced cases. Let's say that during your marriage you jointly acquired a house. And none of you have anywhere else to go. How to live with an ex-husband? For some, this will seem savagery, but these are modern realities. Housing in the middle of the road is not lying around.

Rules of conduct for former spouses

But still, some rules of cohabitation should be observed:

This type of residence should be temporary. First, it's stressful for both of you. Secondly, you will not be able to build new relationships in such conditions. Thirdly, during such a residence it is impossible to avoid scandals, which will have an extremely negative impact on your children (if you have any). If you see that your husband is not going anywhere, move out yourself. Your nerves are worth more.
Be honest about whether you want to keep the relationship. If you deliberately do not want to leave, then remember one thing: you will not be forced to be nice. And to the question of how to deal with an ex-husband, the only correct answer is: forget and let go.
Divide household chores. Since there was a divorce, you are not obliged to cook breakfast for your ex-husband, even if you live in the same apartment. If necessary, you can even make a duty schedule. Payment for utilities and funds for the maintenance of the apartment should also be divided in half.
If your husband suffers from alcoholism, drug addiction or is able to raise a hand against you, run away from there as soon as possible!

Ex-husband wants to come back

However, there are many cases where exes start dating again after a divorce. And some even go down the aisle in the second round! Will the ex-husband come back? - the question is quite complicated. It all depends on the reason for the divorce. If he went to his mistress, then you do not need to wait for him. In any situation, you need to maintain your own dignity. But all other cases give a small chance for resuscitation of relations.

signs

Signs that your ex wants to get back with you:

Interested in your life directly or through acquaintances. An indifferent person does not care at all about how you are doing, what happened to your mom and what problems you have at work. Therefore, you are remembered and possibly missed.
Fictional excuses to meet you. Has your ex-husband not been able to take things out for a month now? It's not about forgetfulness at all, a man is a hunter who first lulls the vigilance of his victim, and then attacks. But only the victim decides whether to surrender to the predator or run away.
He began to take care of himself. Remember how many times you asked your ex-husband to shave, but to no avail. If you notice that your man smells of new perfume, he is always clean-shaven and smartly dressed, then he is not trying for his own sake. Thus he tries to attract attention to himself.

All of the above suggests that it is too early to put an end to your marriage. Perhaps if you start on a new line, things will go differently. First of all, decide on your feelings, you should not fool a man's head because of his indecision.

Seeing the first attention signs, tell your ex-husband directly that you are not sure that you are ready to love him back. If nothing of the kind is observed, you do not need to wait until your missus changes his mind, walks up and returns. He doesn't deserve it. We put on stilettos and go to conquer new heights.

Children and ex-husband

Another point that cannot be ignored. What to do with your ex-husband if you have children together? The task of a woman in this situation is incredibly difficult. You can quietly hate your partner, but you absolutely cannot show this to a child!

Children are very vulnerable creatures, and sometimes you have to turn a blind eye to your feelings in order to help your child survive the divorce of his parents as comfortably as possible, even if relations with an ex-husband do not add up.

Talk to your child. It is desirable that the child learns that his parents are separating even before the divorce proceedings. It is unpleasant when you are simply put before the fact. Give your child the opportunity to express their opinion on this matter. It is possible that the first conversation will cause a fit of aggression in the child, especially if he has a transitional age. Do not push or impose, let him comprehend the new information a little and he will get in touch with you.
Provide equal opportunities for the child to communicate with both mother and father. The law in 90% of cases takes the side of the mother, determining the place of residence of the child. And only a negligible percentage of women have the wisdom not to interfere with his relationship with his father. No matter how hard it may be for you, you can not forbid the child to communicate with dad. Thus, you cause colossal psychological trauma to the child, which may not turn out in the best way in his adult life.
Avoid scandals in the presence of a child. If you and your ex-husband have developed a hostile relationship, then adhere to some boundaries in communication. Even an exchange of short phrases is better than a series of reproaches at the first opportunity.

Pay attention to the child

During this difficult period, you need to pay close attention to the behavior of the child. The child became closed, not talkative, gloomy and academic performance began to fall? See a child psychologist immediately!

Divorce destroys the whole small world of your child, sometimes he simply cannot cope with it on his own. A timely appeal to a specialist will help him adapt to a new, previously completely unfamiliar situation.

Conclusion

Now you know how to communicate with your ex-husband after a divorce. In conclusion, we recall that divorce should not be perceived as a catastrophe of a universal scale. Treat this as the next step in your life. You will need to look at the world in a new way. Take care of yourself, find a new hobby, go on a trip. Open new horizons for yourself. Your endless tears and worries will completely drag you into a swamp of hopelessness, and finding a way out from there is quite difficult.

Get rid of anger, resentment, sadness - they will not bring you anything good. Only when you find harmony with yourself, your heart itself will tell you how to behave with your ex-husband.

It is as if you are starting your story anew, you should not stir up the past over and over again.

If possible, visit interesting events together from time to time, go to a cafe for lunch, in a word, remember how your romance began.
Hint to mutual acquaintances that you are not angry with your ex-husband, that he is still important to you, that you treat him well and appreciate him. Don't overdo it! You should not once again show how much you suffer and how bad you are without him.

Do ex-husbands return to their wives after divorce

Trying to try to build a new family life is a rather difficult step. Moreover, there is an ex-wife, whose habits, favorite flowers, advantages and disadvantages he knows.

If he, like his ex-wife, worries and does not find joy in life without his ex-wife, then they have a chance to become a family again, and they converge. Return to index If the ex-husband returns, forgive or not? If, after several months of resuming a relationship, a woman realizes that she is better alone, then she should not let the former on the threshold and into her life.

Attention

Otherwise, you will have to say goodbye to the new life. But if it gets better with him, then she needs to wait for the right moment (when the ex-husband "ripes"), and then she will be ready to meet him. But first you need to understand the reason for his “bold” act and draw the right conclusions: is there a reason to forgive, and is it worth getting back together after a divorce.

Why do men return

Statistics show that only a small part of the stronger sex get divorced for a good reason and continue to build their lives further. The other part just wants to prove something - youth, success, attractiveness.

Men go through three main stages after divorce.

At the first stage, he is a male, completely confident in himself. I want to conquer the highest peaks, meet beautiful girls.
Now the representative of the stronger sex does not regret the divorce.
In the second stage, the man calms down a little. He no longer wants sexual pleasures from strangers, he just wants to relax for his own pleasure.
At the third stage comes the understanding and awareness of what has been done.
The man regrets that he left his wife, understands that he wants to restore relations after the breakup and get back together with her.

Do husbands return to ex-wives after divorce

And it is concluded that there is no single answer. Features of female psychology If the spouse herself put the missus out the door, then on a subconscious level she expects that he will certainly beat the threshold with bouquets of flowers and a bunch of gifts. And at the same time, there is still uncertainty about the return of the spouse.

But it depends on how happy he was with her. And will he be able to find the same happiness with another. It is possible that depression will cover a woman, and it is impossible to predict how long she will be in this state.

Info

But time heals and the wound heals. Psychologists have noticed that the ex-wife, for the first time after a divorce, begins to take care of herself much more often than during the years of marriage: she spends more time with her friends, goes to visit relatives, and goes on vacation. Most "divorced" women start a new family again.

But just do not do this immediately after the divorce, trying to fill the void.

Do husbands return after divorce?

What children think When parents get divorced, most of all those around them feel sorry for the child. After all, now he will have to live without a dad. Even if the father will be present in the life of his child, it is no longer constant, as before.

Of course, young children cannot answer a difficult question, but teenagers find the answer. They believe that the father leaves the family because of them, and comes back because of them too.

Children are selfish, and this is quite normal. Their universe revolves around family and when something goes wrong, they can blame themselves. How often do men actually return to the family for the sake of children? The statistics show no.
This is not surprising in Russia. A man can return to his wife, to the usual way of life and, as a result, to the child. But for the sake of children, few of the representatives of the stronger sex will leave their mistress.

Will my husband return after a divorce?

But before we know if men go back to their ex-wives, we think about the main reason so many marriages fail. A mistress is a single woman who wants to make a profitable match with a married man.

It is she who is the cause of the collapse of many marriages. Of course, we will not condemn anyone, everyone has their own life, we will just think about why men go to their mistresses.

As mentioned above, after several years of marriage, especially after the appearance of children, a woman changes. She does not pay attention to her husband and devotes a lot of time to the child.

The man becomes jealous and tries to find solace. He may lack both physical and spiritual intimacy.

But then why do men return to their ex-wives, if they lived so badly in the family and so well with a young mistress. We'll talk about this below. Why men come back: the opinion of wives Women believe that men love comfort too much.

Why do men return to ex-wives after divorce?

You can hint to them that you are fine, that you do not suffer and do not worry.

Never wonder why the union broke up. Draw conclusions for yourself, look not only for your spouse's mistakes, but also for your own.
If you decide to forgive your husband, if you agree with him again, start everything from scratch.
Do not ask why he left and why he decided to return. If you stir up the past, you can ruin everything.

In such cases, it is very important for women not to make hasty conclusions and think carefully about whether it is possible to forgive a spouse. Sometimes a lady “throws herself on a man’s neck without looking”, but only later she realizes that she could not let go of the insult.

Before reconciling, realize whether you trust your ex-spouse and whether you have forgiven the betrayal. If this is not the case, you should not take a step forward. Why? It will just end with another break, quarrels and scandals.

Practical forum about true love

It remains to find out the opinion of the men themselves. Of course, the representatives of the stronger sex are not all romantic, but still many of them call love the main reason. Husbands say that far from their wife, they were able to understand that they do not need anyone but her.

Yes, of course, their beloved is not ideal, and there were many disagreements in marriage, but she is her own, dear. How often do men return to ex-wives? Definitely yes.

The representatives of the stronger sex themselves do not really like to discuss the reason for their return. After all, a wife is unlikely to be able to truly forgive her husband for flight. After returning, the man will fall into his usual environment, and at first he will enjoy the idyll. And how long it will last will depend only on the husband and wife. How to make a man come back When a husband leaves, the wife often becomes depressed. She can withdraw into herself or go on a rampage.

Do husbands return to ex-wives after divorce?

It is sometimes difficult to refuse a three-course dinner cooked the way a man likes, from traditional walks with his son, and even from his favorite sofa, from which it is so convenient to watch football! Calculating males In many cases, a man is connected with a woman not only by a joint feeling, but also by joint property. Then the husband can return because it is expensive to pay for rent, and it was possible to live in the ex-wife's apartment almost for free. And with a joint budget, life was better than on one salary. Whether or not to accept a man who clearly needs to make his own existence easier is up to the ex-wife to decide.

Such marriages can last a long time, but often there is no happiness in them. The same is true when the husband is dependent on the relatives of the ex-wife.

He can work for one of them, or seek their patronage.

Do husbands return to ex-wives after divorce?

DIVORdis.RU Divorce Psychology and divorce

Naive male psychology
Reasons why a man leaves
chances for reconciliation
When the husband returns
How to act a woman

Wives who have received the status of "former" should not worry that you can put an end to life. Of course, at first, it seems that the world has collapsed and there will be no happiness without a spouse, but over time, everything passes and ex-wives regain happiness.

Some continue to repeat - "I want to return to my ex-husband", others remain with him just on good terms. Very often, it turns out, to restore the marriage, forget about the divorce and start everything from scratch.

Each outcome is individual. Naive Male Psychology Men who decide to divorce believe that they can live perfectly well without their wife. However, this can be doubted.

Do Husbands Come Back After Divorce?

Opinion of mistresses Girls who have broken a family and attracted a loved one to themselves do not believe that he will leave if he is not surrounded by comfort. The main reason why men return to ex-wives, according to mistresses, is the lack of emotional connection and common habits. Any representative of the stronger sex during his stay with his family gets used to a certain state of things. For example, for him it goes without saying that in the morning his wife fries pancakes for him. Of course, he can do without them, but many have already formed the habit of this delicious breakfast. Or, walking down the street in a good mood, a man begins to sing loudly.

The mistress is embarrassed, and the ex-wife thought it was pretty sweet. From such trifles, insults and mutual misunderstandings begin to accumulate.

Therefore, a mistress, thinking about the question of how often men return to ex-wives, can give an accurate answer, in 90% of cases.

When Husbands Return After Divorce

Often a woman does not even notice that every day she devotes less and less time to her spouse. Household chores, a child, meetings with friends and parents take away all your free time.

It simply does not remain for love. And in this situation, the man begins to look for warmth and understanding on the side.

The third is financial problems. A young family should always live separately, but, unfortunately, not all people have the opportunity to buy their own apartment.
When the newlyweds live with their parents, constant quarrels begin between them. The older generation is trying to teach children how to live and constantly intervenes in their problems. To endure this for a long time, many do not have the strength.

Why men are looking for love on the side We have learned why the representatives of the stronger sex leave the family.