How your behavior changes when you constantly hide your feelings and emotions. How easy it is to learn to control yourself and your emotions

Sometimes we just need to pull ourselves together and keep a calm face. But situations in life are different, we can promise ourselves as much as we want, control the outbursts of our emotions, but in the most extreme situation we can again remove the mask of impenetrability and bare our feelings in front of other people. Then we begin to envy those who know how to curb their emotions. In reality, there are not many such people. If you are not seasoned in dangerous situations an intelligence officer and not a philosopher, who has long ago renounced the worries of this world, then you a common person, to whom this article will tell you how to hide your feelings.

About motivation

First, let's figure out why you need to hide something. Do you have any reasons for this? Maybe you are ashamed of your weaknesses? Or are you afraid of attacks from other people? Perhaps it is simply very difficult for you to demonstrate what you are experiencing because you do not know how to correctly express your needs. Once you understand what motivates you to put on a mask of impartiality, you will understand whether you should contact a psychotherapist who will teach you how to express emotions correctly or act alone.

Choose your mask

If you want to easily get along in a large and complex team, choose a role for yourself. Put on the mask of a “business lady”, “bitch”, “soul of the company” or “conflict-free smart girl”. And play the role appropriate to this mask. You can be anyone, the choice is yours. The image should correspond as closely as possible to reality, your real character and temperament. But be careful! Over time, the mask will adhere to the skin, and you will become who you want to appear.

Your little trick

Figure out for yourself how to quickly block negative emotions. This could be a phrase that miraculously calms you down. For example, some kind of aphorism, proverb that can bring you to your senses in a difficult situation. Or imagine a picture of complete harmony. You are sailing on a boat. And there is peace and quiet all around. Clear water shrouded in morning haze. The sun is rising ahead. And on the shore you can see rustling reeds and green grass; if you listen to it, you can hear the dew flowing down. Have you calmed down? Then the next time there is a scandal in the family or at work, or you end up in another stressful situation, mentally go to your favorite place and enjoy its delights.

Fixation on an outsider

No one will see your hidden feelings if you learn to unexpectedly distract yourself from the other person's words. Do you feel like you're about to explode? Concentrate on your breathing or start looking closely at your boss’s jewelry, then you’ll just listen to most of her barbs. Very good method- visualization of emotions. Imagine, for example, that your anger is a stream of fire passing through your body, but not touching your heart. You can imagine yourself as a quiet, calm lake, into the serene waters of which the interlocutor begins to throw stones. A pleasant splashing sound is heard from each pebble, small circles are visible, they disperse, and peace comes again.

Be smarter

There are people among us who are called energy vampires. They deliberately try to unbalance you in order to feed on your negative emotions, emptying you. They will provoke you into a quarrel, a scandal, put pressure on the most painful places, and humiliate people dear to you. Do not pay attention! Don't give such a person what he wants to achieve. Why do you need to feed this vampire own blood? Answer politely and, if possible, in a cheerful tone. Imagine that you are feeding a vampire pickles and honey. He will understand that his games will not work with you.

About men's feelings

It is very difficult sometimes to hide your love. Girls are usually more shy, they blush, turn pale, become confused, and may even stumble when they see their loved one. And the guy you love hides his feelings more skillfully. Why is this happening? How do they do this and why?

It often happens that even after starting a relationship, men begin to behave like insensitive creatures. Beloved waits from him day by day sweet words, tender hugs, loving sighs... and already begins to doubt his reciprocity. But this does not mean at all that he has fallen out of love.

So why does a man hide his feelings?

1. He needs it that way. He simply maintains the status of courageous and confident, because in our society it is customary for only women to be sentimental. In fact, the stronger sex is no less emotional than the weaker sex.
2. Fear of appearing weak. A man thinks that if he shows a woman how much he is in love with her, she will think that he is weak. Or he will quickly lose all interest in him. So they want to seem more indifferent.
3. Manipulation. A man also believes that if he shows the full depth of his feelings, he will immediately become henpecked and the woman will freely manipulate him, limiting his freedom.
4. Addiction. It manifests itself sexually. Men are more dependent on intimacy than women, but they try to hide it so that we don’t realize how much power we have over them.

Now you know how a man hides his feelings. This is done not only by the stronger sex, because every day we are faced with the need to remain silent where we want to say a few “tender” words, hide our aversion to doing difficult work, not show our attitude towards an unpleasant person and simply pretend that we have everything in order. Each of us understands that if all people showed their emotions, the world would long ago be in chaos, showdowns, screams and scandals would be heard everywhere. This is why it is so important to be able to control the situation.

We try so hard to hide everything we really feel from those who should probably know our true feelings the most. Alas, each of us from time to time tries to hide our emotions from others. Although we may not realize it, along with this secrecy we begin to gradually change our behavioral patterns.

1. You start caring about others

When you feel depressed and depressed, you may find it easier to cope with other people's problems than with your own. Unfortunately, this makes you feel even more exhausted and tired.

2. You disappear from the lives of people you care about.

You actually fall out of their sight for long periods of time. You stop keeping in touch with them and withdraw into your own little world. Instead of speaking out, you prefer to hide everything.

3. You are constantly busy with something.

You may find that you are more emotional when you have nothing to do. This may encourage you to engage in constant hectic activity. Without a single free moment to yourself, you try to ignore the emotions you hide.

4. “I’m fine”

This soothing phrase comes out of your mouth more and more often when you suppress your emotions. After all, if everyone thinks that everything is fine with you, then you yourself begin to think that this is almost so. However, this does not solve the problem.

5. Internal anxiety increases in you

When people constantly suppress sadness, anger, or pain without allowing them to come out, internal alarm that “dangerous emotions are about to break through.” Therefore, even if you pretend to ignore them, you are still afraid of giving yourself away and try to avoid people.

6. You start feeling false positives.

You feel very bad inside, but outwardly you mask your condition with caustic humor and false positivity. On the one hand, the most insightful loved ones can immediately recognize your pretense, but on the other hand, such “acting” exhausts you.

7. You feel the need to control everything.

You plan everything in advance so that every second of the day is under your control. You don't allow time for surprise or spontaneity because it can make you think about the feelings and emotions you've been keeping bottled up.

8. You run the risk of having a bad relationship.

This relationship may not necessarily be toxic, but rather inappropriate and untimely. With a new person in your life, it is easier for you to hide everything and keep your emotions under tight lock and key. So you are trying to change your external environment to confront inner feelings.

9. You turn everything into a joke

Even if you feel like you are drowning in your sadness, you try to turn it into a joke. Laughing at your pain becomes a way to get rid of it. It is a defense mechanism that allows you to control your emotions and also keep people trying to help you at arm's length.

10. Unfortunately, your positive emotions suffer too.

When you lock your feelings away, your positive emotions are locked away along with them. If you don't allow yourself to express sadness or grief, you may find that you can no longer express joy.

The theories and achievements of the outstanding American psychologist Paul Ekman have long won him fame and authority in scientific and business circles, but they became widely known relatively recently - thanks to the American television series “Lie to Me.” Main character- a scientist who masterfully recognizes any signs of deception from facial expressions, human postures and human gestures, and Dr. Ekman became the inspiration for the image. We are publishing an excerpt from his new the book “Know a Liar by Their Facial Expression”, which is being prepared for release by the publishing house"PETER" in mid-December.

Lying well is an art

“Controlling facial expressions is not easy. Most people manage facial expressions, but they do it less than perfectly. People are more accustomed to lying with words than with their faces (and with their faces more common than with body movements). This is probably due to the fact that people are more responsible for their words than for their facial expressions. People often comment on what you say rather than what you express on your face.

It is easier for you to watch your words when you speak than to watch your facial expressions. Facial expressions can be very transient, meaning they appear and disappear in a fraction of a second. When using words, you can easily put yourself in the shoes of the person receiving your message and hear everything that he hears. With facial expressions, everything turns out to be much more complicated. You can hear your speech, control every word you say, but you cannot see the expressions on your face, since this is simply not given to you. Instead, you have to rely on a less precise source of information about what's happening on your face—feedback provided by your facial muscles.

So is it possible to control facial expression?

When controlling your facial expression, you can try to soften external manifestation experienced emotion, modulate the expression of that emotion, or falsify the message being conveyed.

Mitigation

When you soften a facial expression, you add a commentary expression to an existing one. For example, if you show fear when the dentist approaches, you can add an element of disgust to your facial expression as a message to the dentist that you are disgusted with yourself because of your fear. The expression of the feeling you are experiencing has not changed in intensity, as with modulation, and has not been hidden or replaced by the expression of a feeling you are not experiencing, as with falsification. The expression of an emotion may become softer when it occurs immediately after the first expression, either as a social commentary required by the rules of displaying emotions (individual or cultural) or as a sincere expression of the next feeling. A person may actually feel disgusted with himself because of his fear of the dentist, or he may follow an emotional display rule to make it clear that he is no longer a child.

To soften facial expression, a smile is most often used; it is added as a commentary to any negative emotions. A softening smile gives the key to understanding negative consequences or limits of manifestation of negative emotion. It tells the other person that you are still in control. For example, if you smile to soften an expression of anger, you are communicating with your face that you do not want to go too far, that your attack will be limited or weakened. If a smile mixes with anger rather than softens it as a follow-up comment, then you are saying that you are enjoying the anger you are experiencing. A smile that softens the expression of sadness says: “I can handle this,” “I won’t cry again,” etc.

Softening expression is the most moderate form of facial control. It distorts facial expression very little and usually appears as a result of following rules for displaying emotions (individual or accepted in a given culture), and not to satisfy the needs of the moment. Since the distortion of the transmitted message appears to be minimal, and the evidence of softening is quite obvious, we will not discuss here methods for recognizing the fact of softening the expression of an emotion.

Modulation

When you modulate your facial expression, you adjust its intensity to show how you really feel. You are not commenting on the message of an emotion (as in softening) or changing the nature of the message (as in falsifying) - you are increasing or decreasing the intensity of the message. There are three ways to modulate facial expression: you can change the number of areas of the face involved, how long the expression is maintained, or the amplitude of contraction of the facial muscles.

Suppose that John, when experiencing fear, follows an emotional display rule that requires him to show only a slight expression of apprehension on his face. If John experiences fear, this emotion will be reflected in all three areas of his face. If he needs to weaken the expression of this feeling, then he can take any of next steps(or any combination thereof):

Remove manifestations of fear in the mouth area (as in Fig. 19A) and, possibly, also in the eyes (Fig. 13B) or show your fear only with your mouth (as in the right picture of Fig. 17).

Reduce the duration of expression of fear.

Stretch your mouth less, strain your lower eyelids less, and don’t raise or draw your eyebrows together so much.

If John really only felt apprehension, but tried to look scared, then he would actually have to make the expression shown in Fig. 13B, and change actions aimed at reducing the expression of fear. Typically, when people modulate, that is, increase or decrease the expression of their emotions, they use all three methods - changing the number of facial areas involved, how long the expression is maintained, and the strength of facial muscle contraction.

Falsification

When you fake facial expressions of emotion, you show a feeling you don't feel (faking), or show nothing when you actually feel a feeling (neutralization), or hide an emotion you feel by expressing another emotion that you don't actually feel. experiencing (disguise). In the case of malingering, you are trying to create the impression that you are actually experiencing some emotion when in fact you are not experiencing any emotion. Imagine that someone tells you about the misfortune of your supposedly close friend, and you do not care at all, you do not experience any feelings, but give a sad expression to your face. This is called simulation.

To successfully fake an emotion, you must remember the feeling of what each emotional expression looks like on your face “from the inside” so that you can consciously adjust your facial expression and demonstrate the emotion you want to show others. You usually cannot anticipate the need for simulation and do not have the opportunity to practice in front of a mirror to observe your face and practice making different expressions. Children and teenagers often develop various facial expressions in this way; adults also practice in front of the mirror on the eve of some special occasions. important events, about which they know in advance. But most often you have to rely on proprioceptive sensations - how the emotion feels on your face “from the inside”. You need to be able to capture these sensations and remember what your face felt when you were angry, scared, etc., so that you can consciously give yourself one or another appearance.

Neutralization is the exact opposite of simulation. You feel a strong emotion, but try to look like you don't feel anything. Neutralization is the ultimate form of emotion reduction, in which facial expression is modulated so that the intensity of the display of the experienced emotion is zero. If John was scared but wanted to appear calm and dispassionate, he would use neutralization. In the case of neutralization, you try:

Keep your facial muscles relaxed, avoiding muscle contractions;

Keep the facial muscles in a position that allows you to give the face an impassive expression: the jaws are clenched; lips are closed, but without visible effort; the eyes look intently, but the eyelids are not tense, etc.;

Mask appearance your face, biting or licking your lips, wiping your eyes, scratching some parts of your face, etc.

Neutralization is very difficult, especially if your emotional reaction was caused by some serious event or series of such events. Typically, when using neutralization, you appear so stiff or tense that you at least eliminate the possibility of falsification by your appearance, even if the emotion you actually experience is not outwardly manifested. But most often, instead of neutralizing emotions, people try to mask them, which is much simpler and more effective.

When you use masking, you fake an emotion that you don't actually feel in order to obscure or hide the real one. When you heard about the misfortune that happened to your supposed friend and showed sadness on your face, it was a simulation only on the condition that you did not experience any feelings at all. If you felt disgust and tried to hide it by putting on a sad expression on your face, that would be a disguise. People resort to camouflage because it is easier for them to hide one facial expression under another than to try not to express anything on their face. In addition, people resort to masking because their motives for concealing a particular emotion usually require insincere statements about the substitution. For example, if a person experiencing depression does not want to continue to be considered suicidal, he should not only neutralize the expression of sadness on his face, but also pretend to be happy. The smile, which we have already called the most common means of softening emotions, is also the most common mask. Darwin was the first to try to explain the reason for this phenomenon. The muscle contractions required to produce a smile are most different from the muscle contractions required to express negative emotions. Anatomically speaking, a smile is best at masking expressions of anger, disgust, sadness or fear in the lower part of the face. And, of course, often the nature of the social situation that motivates you to hide one of these emotions will make you want to put on a friendly smile. People often mask one negative emotion with another: for example, fear with anger or anger with sadness, and sometimes they mask a joyful expression with an unhappy one.

All three of these control techniques—mitigation, modulation, and falsification (which includes simulation, neutralization, and masking)—can be used in situations that force people to control their facial expressions—following cultural display rules, following individual display rules, according to with professional requirements and the needs of the current moment.”

The editors of the site thanks the publishing house “PITER” for the provided excerpt.

You can not hold back your emotions, get angry, scream, laugh, cry bitterly and be loudly indignant. Do you think anyone likes such sincerity? Only your enemies enjoy watching this performance. Learning to manage emotions!

Sometimes, succumbing to emotions or allowing ourselves to be led by false feelings, we commit actions that we later repent of. At the same time, we make excuses that we have lost control over ourselves, so emotions have prevailed over reason. That is, we did not control our emotions, but they controlled us.

Is it really that bad? Perhaps there is nothing good in the lack of self-control. People who do not know how to control themselves, maintain self-control and subordinate their feelings to their will, as a rule, do not achieve success in anything. personal life, nor in the professional sphere.

They do not think about tomorrow, and their expenses often far exceed their income.

Unrestrained people flare up like a match during any quarrel, unable to stop in time and compromise, which earns them the reputation of a conflict person. At the same time, they also destroy their health: doctors claim that many diseases have a direct connection with such negative emotions as anger, etc. People who value their own peace and nerves prefer to avoid them.

People who are not used to limiting themselves spend too much free time in empty entertainment and useless conversations. If they make promises, they themselves are not sure whether they can fulfill them. It is not surprising that no matter what field they work in, they are rarely professionals in their field. And the reason for it all is lack of self-control.

A developed sense of self-control allows you to maintain a cool head, sober thoughts and understanding in any situation that feelings may turn out to be false and lead to a dead end.

There are also situations when we need to hide our emotions in our own interests. “Sometimes I am a fox, sometimes I am a lion,” said the French commander. “The secret... is to understand when to be one and when to be another!”

People who control themselves deserve respect and enjoy authority. On the other hand, many people think they are callous, heartless, “insensitive blockheads” and...incomprehensible. Much more understandable to us are those who from time to time “go all out,” “break down,” lose control of themselves and commit unpredictable acts! Looking at them, we also seem to ourselves not so weak. Moreover, becoming restrained and strong-willed is not so easy. So we reassure ourselves that the life of people who are guided by reason and not by feelings is joyless, and therefore unhappy.

That this is not the case is evidenced by an experiment conducted by psychologists, as a result of which they came to the conclusion: people who can overcome themselves and resist momentary temptation are more successful and happy than those who are unable to cope with emotions.

The experiment is named after Michel Walter, a psychologist from Stanford University. It is also known as the “marshmallow test” because one of its main “heroes” is an ordinary marshmallow.

The experiment, conducted in the 60s of the last century, involved 653 4-year-old children. They were taken one by one into a room where one marshmallow lay in a plate on the table. Each child was told that he could eat it now, but if he waited 15 minutes, he would get another one, and then he could eat both. Michel Walter would leave the child alone for a few minutes and then return. 70% of children ate one marshmallow before he returned, and only 30 waited and received a second one. It is curious that the same percentage was observed during a similar experiment in two other countries where it was conducted.

Michel Walter followed the fate of his students and after 15 years came to the conclusion that those who at one time did not succumb to the temptation to get “everything now”, but were able to control themselves, turned out to be more learnable and successful in their chosen areas of knowledge and interests. Thus, it was concluded that the ability to self-control significantly improves a person’s quality of life.

Isaac Pintosevich, who is called the “success coach,” argues that those who have no control over themselves and their actions should forget about efficiency forever.

How to learn to manage yourself

1. Let's remember the “marshmallow test”

30% of 4-year-old children already knew how. This character trait was inherited from them “by nature,” or this skill was instilled in them by their parents.

Someone said: “Don’t raise your children, they will still be like you. Educate yourself." Indeed, we want to see our children restrained, but we ourselves throw tantrums in front of their eyes. We tell them that they must cultivate willpower, but we ourselves show weakness. We remind them to be punctual and we are late for work every morning.

Therefore, we begin to learn to control ourselves by carefully analyzing our behavior and identifying “ weak spots- where exactly we allow ourselves to “bloom”.

2. Components of control

The aforementioned Yitzhak Pintosevich believes that in order for control to be effective, it must include 3 components:

1. Be honest with yourself and have no illusions about yourself;
2. You should control yourself systematically, and not occasionally;
3. Control should be not only internal (when we control ourselves), but also external. For example, we promised to solve a problem within such and such a period. And, in order not to leave ourselves a loophole for retreat, we announce this among our colleagues. If we do not meet the stated time, we pay them a fine. The danger of losing a decent amount of money will serve as a good incentive not to be distracted by extraneous matters.

3. We write down the main goals facing us on a sheet of paper and put (or hang) it in a visible place

Every day we monitor how far we have managed to move towards their implementation.

4. Putting our financial affairs in order

We keep our loans under control, remember whether we have any debts that urgently need to be repaid, and balance debits with credits. Is our emotional condition depends quite a lot on the state of our finances. Therefore, the less confusion and problems there are in this area, the less reason we will have to “lose our temper.”

5. Observe our reaction to events that evoke strong emotions in us and analyze whether they are worth our worries

We imagine the worst case scenario and understand that it is not as terrible as the consequences of our inadequate and thoughtless behavior.

6. We do everything the other way around

We are angry with a colleague, and we are tempted to say “a few kind words” to him. Instead, we smile welcomingly and give a compliment. If we were offended that another employee was sent to the conference instead of us, we should not be angry, but would be happy for him and wish him a happy journey.

Since the very morning we have been overcome by laziness, so we turn on the music and get down to some business. In a word, we act contrary to what our emotions tell us.

7. A famous phrase says: we cannot change our circumstances, but we can change our attitude towards them.

We are surrounded different people, and not all of them are friendly and fair to us. We cannot be upset and indignant every time we encounter someone else's envy, anger, or rudeness. We need to come to terms with what we cannot influence.

8. The best assistant in mastering the science of self-control is meditation.

How physical exercise develop the body, just as meditation trains the mind. Through daily meditation sessions, you can learn to avoid negative emotions and not give in to passions that interfere with a sober view of circumstances and can destroy your life. With the help of meditation, a person immerses himself in a state of calm and achieves harmony with himself.

IN Everyday life Between people, due to differences in temperaments, conflict situations often occur. This is due, first of all, to a person’s excessive emotionality and lack of self-control. emotions? How to “get the upper hand” over your own feelings and thoughts during a conflict? Psychology provides answers to these questions.

Why do you need self-control?

Restraint and self-control are something that many people lack. This is achieved over time, constantly training and improving skills. Self-control helps to achieve a lot, and the least of this list is inner peace of mind. How to learn to control your emotions and at the same time prevent intrapersonal conflict? Understand that this is necessary and gain agreement with your own “I”.

Control over emotions prevents the conflict situation from worsening and allows you to find someone with completely opposite personalities. To a greater extent, self-control is necessary to establish relationships with people, no matter business partners or relatives, children, lovers.

The influence of negative emotions on life

Breakdowns and scandals, in which negative energy is released, have a detrimental effect not only on the people around them, but also on the instigator of conflict situations. your negative emotions? Try to avoid conflicts and not succumb to provocations from other people.

Negative emotions destroy harmonious relationships in the family, hinder normal personal development and career growth. After all, few people want to cooperate/communicate/live with a person who does not control himself and starts a large-scale scandal at every opportunity. For example, if a woman cannot control herself and constantly finds fault with her man, which leads to serious quarrels, then he will soon leave her.

In raising children, it is also important to restrain yourself and not give free rein to negative emotions. The child will feel every word said by the parent in the heat of anger, and will subsequently remember this moment for the rest of his life. Psychology helps to understand how to learn to restrain emotions and prevent their manifestation in communication with children and loved ones.

Negative emotions also have a great impact on business and work activities. The team always consists of people of different temperaments, so self-control plays a role here important role: negativity can spill out at any moment when a person is put under pressure and required to do overwhelming work. And instead of the usual dialogue where the parties can reach a consensus, a scandal develops. How to learn to control your emotions in the workplace? Do not react to employee provocations, try to start a casual conversation, agree with your superiors in everything, even if the assigned tasks are difficult to complete.

Suppression of emotions

Constantly restraining yourself within certain limits and preventing the release of negativity is not a panacea. Suppressing accumulates negativity, and therefore increases the risk of developing psychological diseases. Negativity must be periodically “thrown out” somewhere, but in such a way that the feelings of other people are not harmed. How to learn to restrain emotions, but without harm to your inner world? Go in for sports, because during training a person spends all his internal resources, and the negativity quickly goes away.

Wrestling, boxing, and hand-to-hand combat are suitable for releasing negative energy. It is important here that a person mentally wants to give vent to his emotions, then he will feel relief and he will not want to take it out on anyone. However, it is worth considering that everything should be in moderation, and overwork during training can provoke a new influx of negativity.

Two ways to control your emotions:

• Do you dislike a person so much that you are ready to destroy him? Do this, but, of course, not in the literal sense of the word. At the moment when you feel uncomfortable communicating with him, mentally do whatever you want with this person.
• Draw a person you hate and write down on a piece of paper next to the image the problems that appeared in your life thanks to him. Burn the sheet and mentally put an end to your relationship with this person.

Prevention

How to learn to restrain emotions? Psychology gives the following answer to this question: to control your feelings and emotions, prevention is necessary, in other words - emotional hygiene. Like the human body, his soul also needs hygiene and disease prevention. To do this, you need to protect yourself from communicating with people who cause hostility, and also, if possible, avoid conflicts.

Prevention is the most gentle and the best way control over emotions. It does not require additional human training or specialist intervention. Preventive measures allow for long time protect yourself from negativity and nervous breakdowns.

The main thing is that it helps you gain control over your emotions - over your own life. When a person is satisfied with everything in his home, work, relationships, and he understands that at any moment he can influence all this and adjust it to himself, then it is easier for him to restrain the manifestation of negative emotions. There are a number of preventive rules that help manage your own feelings and thoughts. How to learn to control your emotions and manage yourself? Follow simple rules.

Unfinished business and debts

IN short time complete all planned tasks, do not leave work unfinished - this can cause delays in terms of deadlines, thereby provoking negative emotions. Also, “tails” can be reproached, pointing out your incompetence.

IN financially try to avoid late payments and debts - this is exhausting and prevents you from achieving your goal. Understanding that you have not repaid a debt to someone causes negativity and helplessness in the face of current circumstances.

The absence of debts, both financial and other, allows you to fully spend your own energy resources and strength, directing them to the realization of desires. A sense of duty, on the contrary, is an obstacle to mastering self-control and achieving success. How to learn to restrain emotions and control yourself? Eliminate debts in a timely manner.

Cosiness

Create a comfortable experience for yourself workplace, equip your home to your own taste. Both at work and at home, with your family, you should feel comfortable - nothing should cause irritation or any other negative emotions.

Time planning

Try to make smart plans for the day, strive to ensure that you have a little more time and resources to complete your tasks than you need. This will avoid the negativity associated with a constant lack of time and worries about the lack of finances, energy and strength for work.

Communication and Workflow

Avoid contacts with unpleasant people who waste your personal time. Especially with individuals who are called “energy vampires” - they take up not only your time, but also your energy. If possible, try not to interact with overly temperamental people, since any incorrect remark directed in their direction can provoke a scandal. How to restrain your emotions in relationships with other people? Be polite, do not exceed your authority, and do not overreact to criticism.

If your job brings you nothing but negative emotions, then you should think about changing your job. Earning money to the detriment of your soul and feelings, sooner or later, will lead to a breakdown and disorder of mental balance.

Marking boundaries

Mentally create a list of things and actions that cause you negative emotions. Draw an invisible line, a line that no one, not even yourself, should cross to a loved one. Create a set of rules that restrict people from communicating with you. Those who truly love, appreciate and respect you will accept such demands, and those who resist these attitudes should not be in your environment. To communicate with strangers, develop a special system that will avoid violating your boundaries and creating conflict situations.

Physical activity and self-reflection

Sports activities will bring not only physical health, but also mental balance. Spend 30 minutes to 1 hour a day on sports, and your body will quickly cope with negative emotions.

At the same time, analyze everything that happens to you during the day. Ask yourself questions about whether you acted correctly in a given situation, whether you communicated with the right people, whether you had enough time to complete the work. This will help not only to understand yourself, but also in the future to eradicate communication with unnecessary people who cause negativity. own emotions, thoughts and goals allows you to fully develop self-control.

Positive emotions and prioritization

Develop the ability to switch from negative emotions to positive ones, try to see in any situation positive sides. How to learn to control emotions in relationships with family and strangers? Be more positive, and this will help you overcome your own temper.

The right goal is a great help in achieving self-control. When you are on the verge of a surge of negative emotions, imagine that as soon as you stop being nervous and paying attention to provocations, your dreams will begin to come true. You should choose only realistic, achievable goals.

Environment

Take a close look at the people around you. Is there any benefit from communicating with them? Do they bring you happiness, warmth and kindness, do they make you happy? If not, then the answer is obvious; you urgently need to change your social circle, switch to individuals who bring positive emotions. Of course, it is impossible to do this in the workplace, but at least limit yourself from communicating with such people outside the work space.

In addition to changing your environment, expanding your social circle will help you develop self-control. This will give you new opportunities, knowledge and a positive charge for a long time.