How to get into your child's sleep window. How to improve your sleep quality without using the stressful sleep training method. Down with misconceptions: light sleep

How long should babies sleep? How long does it last night sleep newborn baby? Should you listen to music when your baby is sleeping, or should you observe strict silence? What sleep stages do babies have, and what do parents need to know about them? Since such questions often concern young fathers and mothers, we tried to answer them in our article.

Who among us has not been touched by watching little children sleeping? Young parents can sometimes spend hours looking at the baby, admiring how the child sleeps, wrinkles his nose like an adult, and moves his lips. And at the same time, based on the flow of the newborn’s sleep, the observant father and mother can easily determine whether everything is all right with the baby, whether any developmental abnormalities have appeared.

Our children are born very weak, as a result of which at first they need to accumulate strength in order to begin to be interested in the world around them. Since we live at the very bottom of a huge ocean of air, no matter how light the surrounding air may seem to us, we should not forget that any of us is pressed by an atmospheric column weighing 250 kilograms.

But adults are accustomed to this load and practically do not notice. And from the first days the baby is almost flattened under the influence of the atmosphere. It is difficult for him to move his arms and legs, he has difficulty turning his head, even to eat. It is not surprising that the baby only has enough strength to suck his mother’s breast, and then sleep, sleep, gradually growing stronger and gaining strength.

Duration of children's sleep at different ages

In the early stages of a baby's life, the duration of sleep varies greatly depending on the number of days lived. The medical opinion on this matter is as follows:

In the first two weeks, newborns sleep literally the whole day, 20-22 hours. Moreover, since babies do not yet distinguish between the concepts of “day” and “night,” during the day they sleep in fits and starts, for two to three hours, while at night a newborn baby’s sleep lasts only a little longer, about four hours. But still, a weak body forces you to wake up - the child needs to eat and gain the necessary “fuel”, thanks to which the baby is able to live on. It is stupid to be nervous about waking up at night to feed - without feeding every three to four hours, the baby will simply die.
Then the baby begins to return to normal a little, and over the next few weeks the duration of sleep decreases slightly, to approximately 16 - 18 hours a day, depending on the individuality of the baby. Now, with a properly structured daily routine, it is easy to teach a baby to sleep for six hours at night; no particular harm will happen from such a long period without food. During the day, after sleeping for a couple of hours, and then having a good meal, the baby does not fall asleep immediately, but “walks” for a while - gets acquainted with the environment, communicates with parents and loved ones. Then weakness takes its toll, and the baby falls asleep again in order to conserve strength.
Around the end of the third month, the baby “wins” a little more time from nature in order to study the world more fully. Now the baby's sleep should be about 15-16 hours.
From three months and up to six months, the baby’s sleep gradually lengthens to 8–10 hours, despite the total daily sleep time remaining within 15 hours. The remaining time is divided into three intervals, and the baby needs to fill them up during the day. The first interval occurs in the morning, following the morning feeding, and it lasts an hour and a half to two. Another two “quiet hours” fall in the second half of the day.
From six months to nine months, the baby's daily sleep duration is gradually reduced to 12 hours. In addition to sleep, about nine hours, the baby also needs to sleep during the day, twice, before and after lunch, for an hour and a half to two.
Nine-month-old babies already sleep 10-11 hours, and they also need two short naps during the day. This regime will last for about a year. Now the child must strictly adhere to the daily routine, without disturbing it either on weekdays or on weekends, or during a trip to visit his grandmother, for example. True, there are exceptions - the baby’s illness.
Until the age of one and a half years, the baby gradually reduces the duration of daily sleep. At night, the child will sleep for eight to nine hours, and it is advisable for him to sleep for about an hour and a half during the day, after lunch.

A compact table will help you navigate these time intervals easier.

Baby's age	Durationsleep during the day/night
first 2 weeks	~20 - 22 hours, with intervals between awakenings from 2 to 4 hours
1st - 2nd months	~18 hours / up to 5 hours
3 months	~16 hours / up to 6 hours
from 3 to 6 months	~14 hours / up to 7 hours
from 6 to 9 months	~12 hours / up to 9 hours
from 9 months to a year	~11 hours / up to 10 hours
up to one and a half years	~10 hours / up to 9 hours

Parental influence on nighttime sleep frequency

Baby's sleep duration at different ages largely depends on the parents. So, starting from the second or third month, the mother should develop a daily routine for the baby, which indicates approximate sleep intervals, moments of feeding, walking, bathing, etc. Ultimately, teaching the baby to sleep longer at night is in your own interests. This is done as follows:

During the day, the baby should be put to bed at strictly defined hours;
Before going to bed, it is recommended to carry out a whole “tactical operation”, stretching out the period of the last wakefulness long enough and “tiring” the baby by 24 hours, as a result of which he will then begin to sleep very soundly.

The last, evening stage usually involves the obligatory bathing of the baby, a long walk - communication with parents, and, of course, evening feeding. Clean and fed, in fresh diapers and filled with mother’s love, the baby falls asleep quickly, without nerves, and sleeps for quite a long time, feeling the presence of his loved ones.

For six-month-old children, it is important to form some kind of bedtime ritual. Kids quickly learn constant actions that are repeated every day at the same time. Eg:

the mother begins to wash the baby’s face with moistened balls of cotton wool and wipe the body with napkins - this means that morning has come and it’s time to wake up;
the child is bathed in a bath, fed, then a lullaby is sung to him - this means it’s time to fall asleep for a long time, night has come;
It is useful to accompany repeated actions with music, words-lamentations, but always the same, the baby needs to get used to them, and then something like a conditioned reaction will be developed;
exclude active games and any physical activity– the same massages, warm-ups, for example.

Can a baby fall asleep on his own during the day?

Starting from the age of three months, parents are also quite capable of organizing independent sleep. The child cries and wants to sleep with his mother when he is scared and uncomfortable. In his own crib, he will fall asleep without problems, feeling safe in it, and all physiological needs are fully and completely satisfied.

After putting your baby to bed during the day or evening, sit next to him, talk to him, stroke him - let him feel your presence, even when he closes his eyes. And leave only after making sure you are sleeping soundly. But still, if the baby is scared and crying, you need to react immediately. Since she is crying, it means she is asking for help, there is a reason for concern, and only mother’s presence can calm the baby (reasons for a newborn baby’s crying).

What Causes Poor Sleep?

In the first weeks and months of his life, the child adapts to the world into which he finds himself. Moreover, sleep provides him with important help. At night, the baby needs to sleep for as long as he is supposed to according to his age (see table), otherwise it is necessary to quickly identify and eliminate the causes of improper sleep.

When the baby sleeps little during the day, not for two or three hours, but significantly less, waking up, for example, once every half hour, then as a result he gets tired during the day and becomes more excited - hence the difficulties when going to bed.
An important component good sleep is to meet the baby's needs. Wet diapers, excessively warm clothes, and excessive coolness in the room - everything becomes the cause of restless sleep.
The room where the baby sleeps needs to be well ventilated (while the baby is being ventilated, the baby is taken to another room). Some parents, fearing that the baby will catch a cold, do not open the windows in the nursery at all, but doing so, of course, is wrong.
Your baby should definitely go for a walk during the day. fresh air– in a stroller, in mom’s sling, it’s better to go for a walk three to four hours before bedtime.
Sometimes the baby is bothered by tummy pain.

The influence of sleep phases on a child

An adult has many phases - about six, but small children tend to alternate between only two:

Calm and deep dream. Children at such moments are completely relaxed and resting.
Restless (superficial) sleep. The baby is also resting, however, the brain is active, the baby tosses and turns, shudders, moves its arms, and grimaces. It's quite easy to wake him up now - by shifting things, talking too loudly.

The calm phase occupies the majority - 60 percent of the total duration, and the superficial phase - the rest of the time. During two to three hours of sleep, the crumbs both phases replace each other after 20–30 minutes. While the baby is still very small, the corresponding periods last:

up to six months – 50 minutes (30 minutes deep and 20 minutes restless). In total it comes to three or four cycles;
from six months to two years – 70 minutes. The number of cycles at this age depends on the total duration of sleep;
from two years to six – up to 120 minutes.

True, the older the baby gets, the faster other phases characteristic of adults are added to the sleep phases - slow superficial, paradoxical, for example. But parents must understand; in your opinion, the baby is sleeping soundly, however, the deep sleep phase is replaced from time to time by the restless phase, and during this period any sneeze can wake up the baby. Therefore, try not to interrupt your newborn’s sleep prematurely:

maintain silence by eliminating street noise and muting the TV;
turn off bright lights by switching to a night light in the evening;
Cover the windows with curtains during the day.

conclusions

Starting from the birth of a child until one year, and then up to two or more years, the duration of a child’s sleep can change every month or two, and for a newborn – even after two weeks. The periods given by us are considered average, because all children are individual, and you should not “push” them into a “Procrustean bed”, forcing them to sleep at a strictly defined time.

Rather, it’s like this: the baby is fine with at least an approximate similar regime. But if the baby’s sleep noticeably deviates from the agreed limits, it’s time to consult a pediatrician.

It primarily depends on the parents whether their baby will gradually begin to sleep longer and longer at night - simple rules will help achieve long-lasting sound sleep.

For the full development of the baby, the correct formation of the baby’s daily routine and the competent alternation of wakefulness and rest cycles, it is important for parents to know what phases of sleep the child has. infant.

The main “work” of a newborn baby in the first days of life is feeding and sleeping. And if the issue of nutrition is clear (there is nothing better breastfeeding), then the topic of sleep often confuses parents. There is no clear understanding of how long a child should sleep, why one baby sleeps peacefully all night, while another wakes up from the slightest noise. Of course, they play an important role individual characteristics infant, but still the structure and physiology of the baby’s sleep are subject to a certain model.

Sleeping for a newborn is almost the same as breathing

For a little person who has just been born, it is difficult to achieve strict adherence to the daily routine, because he does not have the function of an internal clock, and he is not able to distinguish day from night. The baby’s body adapts to the conditions of existence outside the mother’s womb, and this is a considerable burden for it.

But in order to adapt to external environmental conditions, the child’s rest should last 16-20 hours a day. Approximately every 2-3 hours, the baby wakes up to eat, then, having had enough, falls back into slumber. It takes less than an hour for a baby to digest food, which is why the break is so short.

Sleep, especially in the first weeks after birth, is a continuation of behavioral responses in the embryonic state.

Does the baby sleep in the womb?

Ultrasound scanning was able to prove that, while in the mother’s womb, the child spends a significant amount of time in a state of rest.

The first signs of rest, which can be described as real sleep, appear by the 28th week. At this stage, there are restless movements of the limbs, twitching of the eyelids and changing facial expressions.
Around the eighth month of pregnancy, the child's sleep becomes calm, during this period he remains motionless for a long time, his facial features are smoothed.
Immediately before childbirth, the cyclicity of the calm and restless state of this physiological process appears.

By the way, many mothers are worried that their baby in the tummy behaves “invisibly” during the day, but at night it starts real battles, kicking and tossing and turning. The fear is associated with possible confusion about the time of day after childbirth. But this is understandable: a pregnant woman, gently swaying while walking, simultaneously lulls and rocks the baby. At night, without feeling rhythmic movements, the child begins to become active. It’s not for nothing that almost all children fall asleep instantly when rocked in a stroller or in their arms.

Sleep after birth

The first weeks and even months after birth are a kind of continuation of intrauterine life, and being in the arms of Morpheus continues to be the baby’s main activity. Rest can last up to 5-6 hours during this period, and many parents wonder whether it is worth interrupting such a long pause between feedings; will the baby lose weight?

No matter how imperfect the baby’s body may seem, it obeys its natural biorhythms, and you should not interfere with them. The child himself feels when it is time for him to eat or sleep. For the first 2-3 months, if nothing bothers the child, long rest is normal.

The alarm should be sounded if long periods of sleep without waking up to feed become the norm. This regimen contributes to dehydration and exhaustion of the body and may indicate pathology. A pediatrician will help identify the cause.

Closer to 4-5 months, the little man begins to show interest in the world around him, and periods of revitalization become longer and longer.

Characteristics of daytime and nighttime sleep of infants

Ideally, a newborn's daytime rest should last 9 hours, and at night the child sleeps for at least 10-11 hours with breaks for feeding (3-4 times). Of course, these are average norms; it also happens that a child is awake a lot during the day, but then sleeps soundly at night.

For a baby, the days merge together, without division into light (day) and dark (night) segments. The task of parents is to teach the child to separate these concepts and realize that the day is intended for active activities, and the night is a time for rest. Waking up frequently baby after sunset is associated with a number of factors:

a breastfed baby wakes up more often, since mother's milk is absorbed faster than adapted formulas;
the hot and dry climate in the room makes the baby thirsty;
giving up diapers in favor of diapers will force parents to get up more often to change wet sheets;
A baby sleeping separately from its mother feels discomfort from losing contact with a loved one.

A child's daytime sleep is divided into segments, the number of which decreases as the baby grows older. By four months there are 3-4 stages of rest; by 6 months there remain morning, afternoon and evening sleep, and by the age of 1.5 years, children usually sleep once during the day.

To develop healthy skills, it is important to strictly follow the sequence of rituals. So, awakening, accompanied by hygiene procedures(washing, washing, cleaning the nose, ears) will be associated in the child with the morning period. Walks, as a rule, take place during the day, but going to bed is associated in the baby’s memory with evening bathing, feeding and quiet rocking.

Physiology of children's sleep: biological cycle and internal clock

Any human life activity, including a child, is subject to the cyclical processes occurring in the body, the name of which is biorhythms. Thanks to biological cycles, a person is able to adapt to the changes of day and night, seasons, and time zones.

Even before birth, a child’s biorhythms are established, and by observing how the system of cycles manifests itself, you can painlessly build the baby’s daily routine. You just need to correctly set your internal clock in accordance with the natural biological course. Here are some recommendations:

The process of internal time can and should be controlled. Adults should strive to ensure that the child's wake-up, bedtime, and meal times remain constant from day to day.
Sunlight is the main coordinator of biorhythms, so on a dark winter morning you can help your baby wake up on time with the help of electric light, and, on the contrary, on a bright summer evening you can darken the room with thick curtains.
The human body responds to its internal clock by adjusting body temperature: during the period of falling asleep it decreases, and as it approaches getting up, it increases. A child will fall asleep easier in a well-ventilated, cool room.

According to Pavlov’s teachings, “sleep has a protective and life-saving significance for the brain,” and if it is complete, then the child is healthy, gains weight well and does not lag behind in physical development.

Based on the value of rest periods, a sleep chart for young children has been developed.

Child's age	Length of night's rest	Length of day rest	Number of day rest periods	Total rest time
1 month	8-8.5 hours	6-7 hours	3	14-15.5 hours
3 months	9.5-10 hours	5-5.5 hours	3	14.5-15.5 hours
6 months	10.5-11 hours	3-3.5 hours	2	13.5-14.5 hours
9 months	10.5-11 hours	3 hours	2	13.5-14 hours
12 months	11 o'clock	2.5 hours	2	14.5 hours
18 months	11 o'clock	2-2.5 hours	1	13-13.5 hours

It should be taken into account that the given time is average and may vary depending on physical, psychological factors and the child's temperament.

Traits and distinctive features of the resting stages

Small children sleep differently than adults; the sleep phases of an infant differ in their order and duration. The functioning systems of an infant’s body, first of all, the brain, are imperfect, therefore the pattern of action of two important states of rest - fast and slow sleep - is specific.

Paradoxical phase

The REM sleep phase is dominant in the life of a newborn. Another name for it is the REM period (translated as “active eye movement”) or REM – “rapid eye movements”. The stage acquired a similar name for the trembling eyelashes and the rapidly moving pupils under them. Based on these signs, the paradoxical phase can mislead parents - they may consider the child to be awake.

At the stage of fast-wave sleep, processes that are very important for the baby take place:

training and stimulation of brain development through vivid dreams;
relaxation and relief of nervous tension;
rethinking and consolidating new information;

Paradoxical sleep is a shallow state of rest; the child plunges into this phase immediately from a state of wakefulness.

The brain at this stage is active and seems to be drifting on the edge of consciousness. As the baby grows, the proportion of the fast phase decreases.

Orthodox or deep sleep

The stage of non-rapid (slow) sleep, or non-REM (translated as “without active eye movement") is formed at the stage of more mature development of the cerebral cortex. She is the one responsible for a good night's rest. There are 4 degrees of the orthodox phase:

Napping is a superficial rest; the baby reacts to all sounds.
Falling asleep is a transitional state between dormancy and rest; the baby may wake up when there is extraneous noise.
Deep sleep - the body is relaxed, the arms and legs become heavier, there is no reaction to slight interference.
Very deep sleep - complete disconnection from the external environment, noises have no effect on the child, artificial removal from this state completely disorients the baby.

This rest phase is important for the full formation and normal development of the child. The baby's strength is restored, spent energy is renewed, and the body is rebooted. The slow stage is short-lived, no more than half an hour, but over time its duration increases as the baby becomes more active and gets more tired.

REM or what are you dreaming, baby?

The paradoxical phase of sleep in newborns, as noted, is colored with images of dreams. What visions and sights make the baby smile, wrinkle his nose, frown, twitch his arms and legs? After all, his knowledge of the surrounding reality is negligible.

There is no consensus on dreams in infants either among scientists or among neurosurgeons. But there is an idea that at the stage of formation of interneuron connections, a person sees spots of color, or the very first and warmest thing he constantly encounters is his mother’s breast.

In addition to visual images, components of dreams can include sensations: after all, the baby already distinguishes between cold and warm, wet or dry. And over time, as information is replenished, the child will already see familiar faces and familiar objects in his dreams.

Sleep phases in the first year of a baby's life

From about the 3rd month of life, the baby’s sleep is similar to the rest of the older ones, with the exception of the duration of the cycles. Full circle consists of four stages of non-REM sleep and one REM sleep. In infancy, a single cycle is 45-50 minutes, after 5 years it approaches an hour, and only after 10-12 years it is equal to that of an adult.

Below is a table showing the change in the ratio of the paradoxical sleep phase in infants in the first year of life by month.

Most often, children wake up at the paradoxical stage, the quantitative component of which prevails over the supra-orthodox one. That is why the rest of infants is intermittent and short-lived.

Sleep is an indispensable condition for the physical and psycho-emotional development of a baby.

Undoubtedly, sleep, along with feeding, plays a primary role in the life of a baby. In a state of rest, the child’s body is restored, removing traces of fatigue and overwork. The brain “digests” the flow of information received during wakefulness and prepares for a new portion of knowledge and emotions. During the rest period, the baby gains height and weight; proper rest promotes good appetite, equal mood and intellectual development.

Lack of sleep has an extremely harmful effect on a child’s nervous system and can lead to chronic disorders, including neuroses. Professor N. Krasnogorsky found that even a two-hour sleep deficit leads to negative weight fluctuations. In the future, such children may have impaired behavioral reactions, for example, “disobedience syndrome.”

Sleep takes a direct part in the complex process of developing the functions of memory, attention, and systematization. In addition, it has been proven that growth hormone, so important for the baby, is activated in the first two hours of night rest. The task of parents is to create all the conditions for full and healthy sleep for their child.

The window is a symbol of new horizons and beginnings, but for full interpretation sleep, it is necessary to take into account all its nuances. Read the interpretations set out in the most authoritative dream books in the world. What does it mean to see a window in a dream?

Why see a window in a dream

Russian folk dream book

This is the interpretation of the dream book of an open window: if you stand in front of it, some life changes are coming.

An attempt to find a way out of a window that appears before your eyes in a dream will indicate that there are no opportunities to direct the state of affairs into better side becomes much smaller.

If you dreamed of a broken window, you will have to be disappointed in something and experience spiritual anguish.

Modern dream book

In the dream book, an open window promises the receipt of funds or a gift.

You will encounter a new hobby - this is what you dream of about a window where a lady is trying to get in.

If in a dream you saw that you fell out of a window, expect a big quarrel or even a fight.

Dreaming of a closed window portends boredom.

A dream of a lattice on a window promises separation.

I had to insert the glass into the frame - in reality, be sure to take precautions to avoid trouble.

Seeing a window frame means a general discussion of your intimate life.

In a dream, window curtains are burning - get ready for an exciting turn of life events.

In a dream, you felt afraid that someone would get in through a closed window - this means that for some reason you are afraid of the future.

When in a dream the window is covered with a cobweb pattern or you have to look out into the street through the shutters, in reality you may be overcome by a feeling of loneliness due to isolation.

When you knock on the window, there is a high risk of developing an illness that can be treated surgically.

And when in a dream you had to see yourself on a windowsill, in reality you will encounter recklessness and punish yourself with your own envy.

Maly Velesov dream book

When the window is open, you can expect guests or gifts.

A closed dream may indicate boredom.

The glass in the window is broken - the threshold of poverty and loss.

In the dream there was a window with clean and intact glass - in reality this portends great happiness in life.

In a dream, look out of the window - news will come. Fell out of the window - to the development of a quarrel.

To ruin, you may dream about the process of climbing out of a window. A window curtained with black cloth symbolizes sadness due to the illness of a loved one.

To see an open window means in reality to show yourself as an open and trusting person. On the contrary, a closed window indicates turning inward.

In a dream, you looked through a clean window - it means that you perceive everything in the world around you as it is and do not allow yourself to be misled.

Dreamed dirty window indicates a bad mood and anger.

Women's dream book

Unsuccessful completion of the most important tasks, loss of respectful attitude of family and friends - this is what you dream of about windows, where you try to look in a dream as you pass by.

Seeing a closed window means abandonment.

If you had to break a window, expect accusations of infidelity.

When you entered your home through a window, you will be accused of using dubious methods, allegedly used to achieve noble goals.

In the dream I had to run through the window - misfortune was approaching.

Family dream book

A dream about a window foreshadows the end of hopes. A broken window promises suspicion of infidelity.

If you dreamed about how you sat on the windowsill, in reality you will show all your recklessness.

If you managed to get into your home through a window in a dream, you will be caught cheating.

In a dream, you had to look out the window and see something strange - in reality you may stop being a respected person and face failure.

If you had to escape through a window, be careful, because trouble is not far away.

Wanderer's Dream Book

If you climbed through a window in a dream, you are too curious and learn about yourself and the world around you.

In a dream you climb out of a window - there is a high probability of trouble or finding Right way to solve the problem that has arisen.

When there was an open window in a dream, you are a person who is open to people, or you feel regret about something.

In a dream, you crawl out of a broken window - solving a difficult life problem or fulfilling exciting desires.

A dream when you look out of a window prophesies life prospects or a turn of events that should be interpreted by the view opening from this window.

Freud's Dream Book

Symbolizing the genitals, an open window promises the joy of accessible sexual relations.

Seeing a dirty window means encountering problems with the health of the genital organs.

When a woman dreams of opening a window, it indicates that she has a desire for sexual relations with another lady. When a man dreams of a window opening, he desires to have sexual intercourse.

Washing windows means the desire to have children.

You broke a window - to face the reality that intimate adventures can become a big problem.

Aesop's Dream Book

Standing in front of an open window in a dream means in reality expecting changes and choosing a new path in life.

If a bird knocks on the window, you will receive unexpected news.

Standing at someone else's window means facing unplanned expenses due to the desire of your supposed friend to ruin you.

A dream of broken glass prophesies illness, melancholy and disappointment.

Seeing a closed window means facing an unexpected obstacle in reality.

Washing a dirty window in a dream means that in real life you will receive prosperity and success for your hard work.

A dreamed silhouette at the window promises to encounter something mysterious.

An attempt to climb home through the window predicts a fun and carefree time.

Trying to open a window in a dream promises hope for a bright future.

Families with the same problem began to contact me more and more often. The baby cannot get into a normal sleep mode. Among the questions that I am asked most often, I have identified the TOP 5:

How to quickly put a child to sleep and why does he have trouble falling asleep?
Why does my child often wake up at night?
How much sleep should a child sleep at a particular age?
Why does a child cry at night in his sleep?
How to improve your child's sleep schedule?

As you know, each case is special, so I pay a lot of attention to studying the history of each family that turns to me for help. But these families have one thing in common - the children go to bed very late. Often, kids just start going to bed after 9 pm, and this process can take not 10-15 minutes, but take an hour and a half! This is the biggest signal that you need to change your sleep schedule and start putting your child to bed much earlier.

Any human body- a very complex organization of cyclical events.

Let's remember: menstrual cycle in women, the food intake cycle (remember how much you want to eat if lunch doesn’t take place at the usual time?), prolactin, which is released in greater quantities from 2 to 5 in the morning. The sleep-wake state is also regulated by hormones, which are released cyclically and are triggered by the light of the morning sunrise. During the peak of these hormones, the overall body temperature decreases, processes in the body slow down so that it is easier for the body to fall asleep and sleep longer. The quality of sleep during these periods is higher and the brain uses this time with maximum efficiency. Modern scientists have been able to accurately identify the time frame for the highest concentration of these hormones in our blood. Ideal window for morning sleep kids - 8-30/9 am; The best time to start a lunchtime nap and siesta is 12-30/13 days, and the interval between 18 and 20 pm is the biologically correct time for going to bed.

What happens when the baby does not fall into the recommended sleep onset stage? The brain, not given the opportunity to rest, goes into a state of overload and begins to actively produce a new hormone - cortisol. Many people know this substance as an indicator of various types of stress, and this is actually true. It makes us feel better, makes us nervous, it triggers all sorts of neuroses and slows down the speed of higher nervous processes. It slows down our ability to calm down and relax, only speeding up physical reactions to a certain extent. Remember a toddler who has “overstayed his welcome” - he is capricious, hyperactive, reacts exaggeratedly to the slightest irritant, and is unable to play with one toy for a long time. Moreover, this hormone tends to accumulate quickly and is very slowly eliminated from the body even after the baby is put to sleep. Hence the problem with difficulty falling asleep, repeated waking up at night and extremely early morning awakenings.

Often, a tired baby, who had difficulty falling asleep, wakes up after half an hour crying bitterly - he has not rested at all, and cannot sleep any longer.

Since it is such a “harmful” hormone, why do we need it? Nature is wise, and she gave us this substance in order to stimulate muscles and blood pressure in times of stress and give us the opportunity to escape from a predator, and in times of famine it is cortisol that prevents blood sugar from falling below the vital norm. As you can see, this is a kind of protector of our body in a very difficult situations, which are almost always accompanied by stress and lack of sleep.

Where did late laying come from?

Let's ask domestic pediatricians, neurologists, experienced grandmothers and other children's specialists about when to put a child to bed? I think the answers will be varied, but all in late time - you can hear “21-00”, and “after 22-00”, and, my favorite: “the later he goes to bed, the longer he sleeps in the morning.” Even all of us have loved the program since childhood “ Good night, kids”, airs around 21-00! How is it possible, are all these people wrong? Or is my article trying to ride the wave of a new and fashionable idea, which is only wonderful because it contrasts itself with everything known and old?

I have great respect for the experience and knowledge of medical professionals and I must say that 90% of modern knowledge about the physiology of sleep, including children’s, has been obtained over the past 25 years. Unfortunately, the training program of medical universities in the field of somnology does not have time to keep up with new discoveries. Even in the advanced United States of America, during 4 years of residency, future pediatricians receive only 2.5 hours of lectures on how children sleep.

The second point, which played an important role in how we organize children’s sleep, dates back to 1917. It was then that women first received the right to paid maternity leave of 112 days. After this period, the children went to nurseries, and the mothers returned to work for a full 10-hour working day. Of course, in the nursery, the nannies were forced to maximize the intervals of daytime sleep in order to somehow cope with a large number children in the group, and, accordingly, the moment when the kids were ready to fall asleep for the night shifted. No one needed to be reminded about the clear daily routine in Soviet-era children's institutions, and soon the children began to sleep for a very long time during the day.

When there is no other choice, babies are amazingly able to redistribute the total number of hours of sleep in a day, provided that cortisol has not accumulated.

So it turned out that the mother picked up her child only at 7-8 pm, and the baby, having slept for 5-6 hours during the day, was ready for bed no earlier than 21-22 hours. This order has been preserved to this day, with the only difference that now, with the dying out of the principles of a rigid daily routine, children even sleep for a couple of hours during the day. Meanwhile, lack of sleep triggers a vicious cycle of cortisol release.

Is it really that scary?

Many of you probably grew up going to bed at 21-22 hours. However, let's think about whether this has affected your health? Who among us has never had problems with sleep, always falls asleep easily and wakes up cheerfully? right time? In fact, only a few people practice proper sleep hygiene. Not in vain pharmacological preparations to improve the quality and quantity of sleep, both for children and adults, is now at the peak of demand. And besides, if everything was good, would you really spend all this time on such a long article? Many parents have already despaired of finding a way out - the current option does not work, and it is not clear how to build a new one. My recommendation is simple - follow your baby’s routine according to age needs: ensure early bedtime, keep the innovations in place for at least a week and evaluate the result. Write in the comments below what you came up with, and I’m sure you’ll have something to brag about! Don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter to the right of this article so you don't miss any new ones :)

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Is it possible from the first days of a baby’s life to learn to understand his “language” and begin to fully communicate with him? How to understand the character of a newborn in order to care for him, taking into account his personal characteristics and temperament? Are there simple and reliable ways to solve such common problems? infancy, like “unreasonable” crying or unwillingness to sleep at night?

Newborn care specialist Tracy Hogg talks about this and much more. Her many years of experience and recommendations have helped many families, including celebrity ones, cope with the difficulties of the first year of parenthood and raise happy and healthy babies. All of Tracy's advice is extremely practical and accessible to everyone, and the techniques she offers are extremely effective - perhaps because her approach is based on respect for newborn children, although small, but individuals.

Why this book is worth reading

Tracy Hogg is one of the most famous authors of children's and parent's literature, she is recognized along with the eminent Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish, William and Martha Sears;
a must-have for all parents who have newborns: you will understand what to expect and learn to cope even with what you did not expect;
the author will competently and kindly explain to every mother and every father how to raise a happy child with love, respect and care;
parents around the world call Tracy a modern Mary Poppins for her effective advice;
modern pediatricians recommend the author's books to parents all over the world.

Who is author
Tracey Hogg is rightfully considered a modern-day Mary Poppins; young mothers all over the world use her methods to falling asleep independently babies.
The author was a nurse, and in order to help babies, she had to learn to understand their language and decipher the signals they sent. Thanks to this, Tracy was able to master their non-verbal language. After moving to America, she devoted herself to caring for newborns and women in labor and helping young parents.

How to teach a baby to fall asleep on his own and sleep peacefully throughout the night?

My newborn baby was about two weeks old when I was suddenly struck with the realization that I would never be able to rest again. Well, never is perhaps too strong a word. There was still hope that by sending my son to college, I would still be able to sleep peacefully at night again. But I was ready to give my head to be cut off - while he is a baby, this does not happen to me.
Sandy Shelton. A good night's sleep and other lies

Sweet dreams, my dear!

In the first days of life, the main activity of a newborn is sleep. Some people sleep up to 23 hours a day in the first week! Of course, every living creature needs sleep, but for a newborn it is everything. While a baby sleeps, his brain works tirelessly to create the convolutions necessary for mental, physical and emotional development. If a child has had a good night's sleep, he is collected, focused and happy with everything - just like an adult after have a nice rest. He eats heartily, plays enthusiastically, radiates energy and actively communicates with others.

The body of a child who sleeps poorly cannot function normally because his nervous system is exhausted.

He is irritable and uncoordinated. The baby is reluctant to take the breast or bottle. He doesn't have the strength to explore the world. Worst of all, overtiredness aggravates the sleep problem. The fact is, bad sleep habits create a vicious cycle. Some babies are so tired that they are physically unable to calm down and fall asleep. Only when there is absolutely no strength left, the poor things finally switch off. It’s painful to watch how the baby literally deafens herself with her own crying, trying to isolate herself from the world, she is so overexcited and upset. But the worst thing is that even this hard-won sleep turns out to be shallow and intermittent and sometimes lasts no longer than 20 minutes. As a result, the child almost constantly lives “on nerves.”

So, everything seems obvious. But would you know how many people do not understand this simple thing: in order to develop the habit of healthy sleep, the baby needs parental guidance. So-called sleep problems are typical because many parents are unaware that they, and not their children, must decide when the baby should go to bed and how to fall asleep.

IN this chapter I will tell you what I myself think about this, and many of my thoughts will probably conflict with what you have read or heard from others. I'll teach you how to spot your baby's tiredness before it becomes overtired, and what to do if you've missed a valuable window of time when baby can be easily put down. You'll learn how to help your baby sleep and how to eliminate sleep difficulties before they become a long-term problem.

Down with misconceptions: light sleep

Now the minds of parents are dominated by two “schools” that are radically different from each other.
The first group includes adherents of co-sleeping, no matter what it is called, be it “sleeping in the parent’s bed” or the Sears method. (Dr. William Sears, a pediatrician in California, promotes the idea that infants should be allowed to sleep in their parents' bed until they ask for their own bed.) This method is based on the idea that the baby a positive attitude towards sleep and going to bed should be developed (here I am both in favor) and that the most correct way to this goal is to carry him in your arms, nurse and stroke him until the baby falls asleep (which I am categorically against). Sears, the method's most influential promoter, wondered in an interview published in Child magazine in 1998: "How can a mother want to put her baby in a twig box and leave him alone in a dark room?"

Proponents of parent-baby co-sleeping often point to traditions in other cultures, such as Bali, where newborns are kept in their arms until they are three months old. (But we don't live in Bali!) La Leche League members suggest that if a baby is having a hard day, the mother should stay in bed with him, providing the extra contact and care he needs. All this serves to “strengthen attachment” and create a “sense of security”, so supporters of this point of view consider it quite possible for mom and dad to sacrifice their time, personal life and your own need for sleep. And to make it easier for them to do this, Pat Yerian, a promoter of co-sleeping, whose opinion is given in the book “ Women's art Breastfeeding" (The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding), encourages frustrated parents to change their perspective: "If you can take a step towards being more tolerant [of your baby waking you up], you will be able to enjoy those quiet moments. moments of nighttime communication with a newborn who needs your hands and affection, or a slightly older baby who just needs to be with someone.”

At the other extreme is the delayed response method, often called the Ferber method after Dr. Richard Ferber, director of the Center for Pediatric Sleep Disorders at Boston Children's Hospital. According to his theory, bad sleep habits are learned and therefore can be broken (which I wholeheartedly agree with). Accordingly, he recommends that parents put their baby in the crib while he is still awake and teach him to fall asleep on his own (I also agree with this). If the child, instead of falling asleep, begins to cry, actually turning to the parents with an appeal: “Come, take me away from here!” - Ferber advises leaving crying unattended for increasingly longer periods of time: on the first evening for five minutes, on the second for 10, then for 15, etc. (and here Dr. Ferber and I diverge). Dr. Ferber explains in Child magazine: “If a baby wants to play with a dangerous object, we say “no” and set boundaries that may cause him to protest…. The same thing happens when we explain to him that there are rules at night. It's in his best interest to get a good night's sleep."

Perhaps you have already joined one or the other camp.
If one of these two methods suits you and your child, and suits your lifestyle, do not hesitate to continue in the same spirit. But the fact is that I often get calls from people who have already tried both of these approaches. Usually events develop as follows. One parent initially favors the idea of co-sleeping with the baby and convinces their partner that this is the best thing to do. In the end, there really is something romantic in this - a kind of return “to the roots.” Yes, and night feedings cease to be a problem. An enthusiastic couple decides not to buy a crib at all. But several months pass—sometimes quite a lot—and the idyll ends. If mom and dad are very afraid to “sleep” the child, then they themselves may lose sleep due to constant fears, and someone develops painful sensitivity to the slightest sound made by the baby in his sleep.

The baby may wake frequently—every two hours—and demand attention. And while some babies just need to be stroked or held tight to make them fall asleep again, others think it’s time to play. As a result, parents are forced to roam around the apartment: one night they play with the child in the bedroom, the other they doze in the living room, trying to catch up. Be that as it may, if both of them were not 100% convinced of the correctness of the chosen method, internal resistance begins to grow in the one of them who succumbed to the persuasion of the other. This is where this parent grabs the “Ferber” method.

The couple decides that it’s time for the baby to get her own place to sleep, and buys a crib. From the baby’s point of view, this is a revolution, the collapse of the familiar world: “Here are my mom and dad, they put me to sleep with them for several months, rocked me to sleep, walked me, spared no effort to make me happy, and suddenly - bang! I was rejected, evicted to another room, where everything was alien and frightening! I don’t compare myself to a prisoner and I’m not afraid of the dark, because my infant mind does not know such concepts, but I am tormented by the question: “Where has everyone gone? Where are the dear warm bodies that were always there?” And I cry - I can’t ask otherwise: “Where are you?” And they finally appear. They stroke me, ask me to be smart and sleep. But no one taught me how to fall asleep on my own. I’m still a baby!”

In my opinion, radical methods are not suitable for all children. Obviously, they were not suitable for the children whose parents turn to me for help. I myself prefer from the very beginning to stick to what I consider the golden mean. I call my method the “smart approach to sleep.”

Three phases of falling asleep

When falling asleep, the child goes through these three phases. The entire cycle lasts about 20 minutes.

Phase 1: "window". Your child cannot say, “I’m tired.” But he will demonstrate this to you by yawning and other fatigue. Before he yawns for the third time, put him to bed. If this is not done, he will not go to the second phase of falling asleep, but will cry.

Phase 2: "blackout." The beginning of this phase is marked by the child’s characteristic gaze, frozen, directed to an unknown destination - I call it “a look into the distant distance.” The child holds it for 3-4 minutes, and although his eyes are open, he is not really looking anywhere - his consciousness is hovering somewhere between reality and sleep.

Phase 3: "slumber". Now the child resembles a person who has dozed off on a train: his eyes close, his head falls on his chest or to the side. It seems that he has already fallen asleep, but that’s not the case: his eyes suddenly open, his head jerks back to its previous position, so that his whole body shudders. Then the eyelids drop again, and this is repeated again and again three to five times, after which he finally falls asleep.

What is a smart approach to sleep?

This is the middle way, denying any extremes. You will notice that my approach takes something from both principles described, but not all, since, in my opinion, the idea of “let him cry and go to sleep” is not compatible with respectful attitude towards the child, but co-sleeping forces parents to sacrifice their interests. My principle takes into account the interests of the family as a whole, the needs of all its members. On the one hand, the baby must be taught to fall asleep on his own - he must feel comfortable and safe in his own crib. On the other hand, he also needs our presence to calm down after stress. You cannot begin to solve the first problem until the second is solved. At the same time, parents also need good rest, time that they can devote to themselves and each other; their life should not revolve around the baby around the clock, but they should still devote a certain amount of time, energy and attention to the baby. These goals are not at all mutually exclusive. Next, I will tell you what a smart approach to sleep is based on, and with this in mind, you will solve all the problems facing you. Throughout the text of the chapter, I will give examples of the practical implementation of each element to make it easier for you to master the first “C” of my wonderful PASS (Nutrition - Activity - Sleep - Free time parents - read more about this in other chapters - approx. Maternity.ru).

Go where you want to go. If the idea of co-sleeping appeals to you, explore it thoroughly. Is this how you would like to spend every night for three months? Six months? Longer? Remember, everything you do is teaching your child. So, if you help him fall asleep by holding him to your chest or rocking him to sleep for 40 minutes, you are essentially telling him, “This is how you should fall asleep.” When you decide to take this path, you must be prepared to stick with it for a long time.

Independence does not mean being ignored. When I tell the mother or father of a newborn baby: “We must help her become independent,” they look up at me in amazement: “Independent? But Tracy, she’s only a few hours old!” “When do you think we should start?” - I ask.

No one, not even scientists, can answer this question, because we do not know when exactly a baby begins to comprehend the world in the full sense of the word. “So start right now!” - I urge. But teaching independence does not mean giving up crying alone. This means meeting the baby's needs, including holding her when she cries - because by doing this she is trying to tell you something. But once her needs are met, she needs to be let go.

Observe without interfering. You may remember that I already made this recommendation when talking about playing with a baby. This is also true for sleep. Whenever a child falls asleep, he goes through a sequence of certain phases (see “The Three Phases of Falling asleep”). Parents should know this sequence well so as not to violate it. We should not interfere with the natural processes of the child’s life, but observe them, giving the baby the opportunity to fall asleep on his own.

Do not make your child dependent on crutches. I call a “crutch” any object or any action, without which the child experiences stress. There is no hope that the baby will learn to fall asleep on his own if you convince him that daddy’s hands, half an hour of rocking or mommy’s nipple in his mouth are always at his service. As I noted in Chapter 4, I encourage the use of pacifiers, but not as a plug for a crying baby. Shoving a pacifier or breast into a baby's mouth to shut him up is simply rude. Moreover, if we do this or endlessly carry the baby in our arms, cradle and rock her to sleep, we actually make her dependent on the “crutch,” depriving her of the opportunity to develop self-soothing skills and learn to fall asleep without outside help.

By the way, a “crutch” is not at all the same as a transitional object - say, a plush toy or a blanket - that the child chooses himself and to which he becomes attached. Most babies under seven or eight months are not capable of this - the “attachments” of very young children are largely formed by their parents. Of course, if your baby is soothed by a favorite toy hanging in her crib, let her have it. But I am against any things you give her to calm her down. Let her find her own ways to calm down.

Develop daytime and nighttime sleep rituals. Putting your child to bed during the day and evening should always be done routinely. I can't stress enough: babies are incredible traditionalists. They prefer to know what will happen next. Research has shown that even very young children, trained to expect certain stimuli, are able to anticipate them.

Learn your baby's sleep habits. All “recipes” for putting a baby to sleep have general disadvantage: There are no universal remedies. One thing suits one, another suits another. Yes, I offer parents a lot of general recommendations, including introducing them to the phases of falling asleep that are common to all, but I always advise them to take a close look at their child, the one and only.

The best thing to do is keep a journal of your baby's sleep. In the morning, write down when he woke up, and add notes about each day's sleep. Note when he was put to bed in the evening and what time he woke up at night. Keep a journal for four days. This is enough to understand how your child’s sleep “works,” even if it seems that there is no system to it.

For example, Marcy was convinced that her eight-month-old Dylan's naps were completely random: “He never goes to sleep at the same time, Tracy.” But after four days of keeping an observation log, she noticed that although the time varies slightly, Dylan always falls asleep briefly between 9 and 10 a.m., sleeps another 40 minutes between 12:30 and 2 p.m., and by 5 p.m. he is always very cranky and cranky. irritated and switches off for about 20 minutes. This knowledge helped Marcy plan her day and, equally important, understand her baby’s behavior and mood. Taking into account Dylan's natural biorhythms, she arranged for him daily life, providing him with the opportunity to fully rest. When he began to be capricious, she better understood what was going on and whether he wanted to sleep, and reacted faster.

The Magic Road to Happiness

Remember how Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz had to follow the yellow brick road to find someone who could help her get home? After a series of mistakes and disappointments, she finally found this helper - her own wisdom. In fact, I help parents go through the same journey. Whether your child has healthy sleep is up to you, I explain. This needs to be learned, and the learning process begins and is carried out by parents. Exactly! The baby must be taught how to fall asleep correctly. The path to healthy sleep consists of the following steps.

Create conditions for sleep. Because babies have a strong need for predictability and repetition is the mother of learning, you should do and say the same things before every nap and night. Then, at her childish level of understanding, the baby will understand: “I see, that means I’ll sleep now.” Perform the same rituals in the same order. Say something like: “Well, my joy, it’s time to bye-bye.” When carrying your baby into her room, stay calm and speak quietly. Don't forget to check if it's time to change her diaper so that nothing gets in her way. Close the curtains. At the same time, I say: “Goodbye, sunshine, see you when I sleep,” or, if it happens in the evening and it’s dark outside: “Good night, month.” I think it is wrong to put a child to sleep in the living room or kitchen. It's rude to say the least. Would you like your bed to be in the middle? trading floor and people milling around? Of course not! So the child doesn’t want this.

Catch the signals. Just like adults, babies yawn when they become tired. Yawning is a natural reaction:
A tired body does not function optimally, and the amount of oxygen reaching the brain through the lungs, heart and circulatory system is slightly reduced. A yawn allows you to “swallow” more oxygen (try to imitate a yawn, and you will feel that your breath is getting deeper). I encourage parents to respond, if possible, to the baby’s first yawn—well, at least to the third. If you miss the signs of sleepiness (see Signs It's Time for Your Baby to Bed), certain types of babies, such as mimosas, will quickly become hysterical.

Advice. To create the right mood in your child, draw his attention to the pleasant aspects of relaxation. Sleep should not seem like a punishment or struggle to him. If you say “it’s time to go to bed” or “you’re tired, you need to rest” in the same tone as you would say “get out of sight, you ugly boy!”, then the child will grow up believing that daytime sleep they sentence juvenile criminals to exile in Siberia in order to deprive them of all pleasures.

The closer to the bedroom, the quieter the speech and the slower the movements. Adults like to read a book or watch TV before going to bed to take their mind off the worries of the day. Babies need distractions too. Before going to bed, bathing every night, and from the age of three months, massage will help the baby prepare for sleep. Even before my daytime rest, I always play a soothing lullaby. I sit with the baby in a rocking chair or on the floor for about five minutes so that she gets more tactile sensations. If you want, you can tell her a story or just whisper sweet words. However, the goal of all this is not to put the child to sleep, but to calm him down. Therefore, I immediately stop rocking the baby as soon as I see the “look into the distant distance” - the second phase of falling asleep - or notice that her eyelids droop, telling me that she is moving on to the third phase. (As for bedtime stories, it’s never too early to start, but I usually start reading aloud around six months, when the child can already sit and listen intently.)

Advice. Don't invite guests over when you put your child to bed. This is not a performance. The child wants to participate in everything. He sees the guests and knows that they came to visit him: “Wow, new faces! You can look at it and smile! So what, do mommy and daddy think I’ll fall asleep and miss all this? Well, I do not!"

First to bed, then to dreamland. Many people are sure that a child can be put to bed only when he falls asleep. This is mistake. Put the baby to bed at the beginning of the third phase - no the best way Help her learn to fall asleep on her own. There is another reason: think about how your baby feels when he falls asleep in your arms or in a rocking device, and for some reason wakes up in a crib. Imagine that I wait until you fall asleep and drag your bed out of the bedroom into the garden. You wake up and can’t understand anything: “Where am I? How did I end up here? Only, unlike you, a baby cannot conclude: “Oh, I see, someone dragged me here while I was sleeping.” The child will be disoriented, even scared. Eventually, he will no longer feel safe in his own bed.

When I put my baby in the crib, I always say the same words: “Now I’ll put you to bed, and you’ll go to sleep. You know how great it is and how wonderful you feel afterwards.” And I watch the baby closely. Before she lies down, she may become restless, especially when she shudders all over, which is characteristic of the third phase of falling asleep. There is no need to immediately pick up the child in your arms. Some children calm down on their own and fall asleep. But if the baby cries, gently and rhythmically pat her on the back - let her feel that she is not alone. However, remember: as soon as she stops fussing and whining, you need to immediately stop petting her. If you do this for longer than she really needs, she will begin to associate stroking and patting with falling asleep and will no longer be able to fall asleep without it.

Advice. I generally recommend placing the baby on his or her back. But you can also arrange it on its side, propping it up with two rolled towels or special wedge-shaped pillows, which are sold in most pharmacies. If your baby sleeps on his side, make sure the side changes.

If the road to dreamland is bumpy, give your child a pacifier. I like to use a pacifier in the first three months of a newborn's life - the period when we establish a routine. This saves the mother from having to replace the pacifier with her own presence. At the same time, I always warn that the pacifier should not be used uncontrollably - it should not turn into a “crutch”. At reasonable approach parents to this question, the baby selflessly sucks for six to seven minutes, then the sucking movements slow down, and, in the end, the pacifier falls out of the mouth. The baby has already spent as much energy on sucking as is needed to relieve tension, and is safely leaving for the kingdom of sleep. At this moment, some adults with the best intentions come up with the words: “Oh, poor thing, I lost my pacifier!” - and shove it back. Do not do that! If your baby needs a pacifier so that his sleep is not interrupted, he will let you know about it - he will start whining and making gurgling sounds.

So, whenever the PASS mode takes you to the first “C”, follow the rules described above - for most babies this is enough for them to develop positive associations with sleep. Let the same familiar steps lead your baby into the land of dreams, because for him predictability means safety. You will be surprised how quickly your baby will master the skills necessary to intelligently organized sleep. She will even wait until bedtime, because it is so pleasant, and after sleep you feel much more energetic. Of course, problems cannot be avoided: for example, if the baby
is overtired, teething or has a fever (see Normal Sleep Problems). But such days will be the exception to the rule.

Remember, in order to truly fall asleep, a child needs 20 minutes, and under no circumstances try to speed things up. You'll only break natural process falls asleep, and the baby gets nervous. Let's say, if a loud sound, a dog barking or a slammed door - whatever - disturbs her in the third phase, she will not fall asleep, but on the contrary, she will wake up, and everything will have to start all over again. The same thing happens to adults when they are about to fall asleep and suddenly phone call breaks the silence. If a person is irritated or nervous, it can be difficult to fall back to sleep. Babies are people too! They are just as nervous, the sleep cycle starts from scratch, and you have to wait another 20 minutes for your child to fall into deep sleep.

If you missed the window

If your baby is very young and you have not had time to thoroughly study his cries and body language, it is more than likely that you will not always be able to respond to his first, second or third yawn. If you have an “angel” or a “textbook”, it’s okay - these kids just need a little attention and affection to quickly return to normal. But with other types of babies, especially mimosas, it’s useful to have a trick or two in your stash in case you missed phase one, because the baby is about to become overtired. Yes, and sudden noise or other disturbances at any time can disrupt the natural process of falling asleep, and if the baby becomes very worried, he will need your help.

First of all, I'll tell you what you should never do: don't rock. Do not walk around the room with your child, do not shake him
too energetic. Remember, he is already overstimulated. He cries because he has had enough stimulation and crying helps distract him from sounds and light. There is no need for you to further stimulate the activity of his nervous system. Moreover, this is where the formation usually begins bad habits. Mom or dad carry the child in their arms or rock them to sleep to help them fall asleep. When his weight exceeds 6.5 kg, they try to make him fall asleep without these “crutches”. Of course, the child protests, as if saying: “No, my dears, we don’t do that. You always rock me to sleep."

If you don't want to get into this vicious cycle, do the following to help your child calm down and disconnect from external stimuli.

Swaddling. After many months in the embryonic position, the newborn is not accustomed to open space. In addition, he does not yet know that his arms and legs are part of himself. An overtired baby must be placed in a motionless position, because he is terribly frightened at the sight of randomly moving limbs - it seems to him that someone else is plotting something against him. In addition, these impressions further burden the already overexcited nervous system. Swaddling is one of the oldest techniques to help a newborn calm down. It may seem old-fashioned, but modern scientific research confirms its effectiveness. To properly swaddle your baby, fold a square swaddle diagonally. Place the child on the resulting triangle so that the fold is approximately at the level of his neck. Place one of the baby's arms on his chest at an angle of 45? and wrap the body tightly with the appropriate corner of the diaper. Repeat on the other side. I recommend this type of swaddling for the first six weeks of life. After the seventh week, when the baby makes his first attempts to put his hands in his mouth, you need to give him this opportunity. Bend his arms at the elbows and leave his palms uncovered, closer to his face.

Soothing touches. Let the baby know that you are nearby and always ready to help him. Pat him rhythmically on the back, simulating heartbeats. You can also repeat “sh-sh... sh-sh... sh-sh...” - this will remind your baby of the sounds he heard in the womb. In a low, soothing voice, whisper in his ear: “Everything is fine” or “You just need to sleep.” For some time after you put the baby in the crib, continue to do what you did while you were holding him in your arms - patting, whispering. The transition from your arms to your own bed will be less abrupt.

Eliminate visual irritants. Visual stimuli - light, moving objects - are painful for an overtired baby, especially for mimosa. That's why we shade the room before we put the baby in the crib, but for some babies this isn't enough. If your baby is already lying down, place your hand over his eyes—not over his eyes—to block out visual stimuli. If you are still holding him, stand motionless in semi-darkness, or with a very overexcited child, in a completely dark room.

Don't follow your child's lead. An overtired baby can be very difficult for parents to cope with. It takes endless patience and determination, especially if bad bedtime behavior has become a habit. The child whines, the parents continue to stroke him, the crying becomes louder. Overloaded with stimuli, the baby cries incessantly until he reaches a deafening cry - very clear: “I have no more strength!” Here he takes a breath, and everything begins again. Usually the crying increases three times until the child finally calms down. But already on the second try, many parents’ nerves can’t stand it, and in despair they return to the usual “medicine”, be it motion sickness, breastfeeding, or a terrible shaking chair.

This is where the problem lies. As long as you continue to intervene, your baby will need your help to fall asleep. It doesn’t take much time for a baby to develop a dependence on a “crutch” - a few times are enough, because he still has a very short memory. Get started wrong and every day you repeat your mistake will reinforce your child’s unwanted behavior. People often come to me asking for help when the child’s weight reaches 6-7 kg and shaking him in his arms becomes burdensome. The most serious problems occur when the child is one and a half to two months old. I always tell parents, “You have to understand what's going on and take responsibility for your child's bad habits because you created them. And then the most difficult thing will happen: be determined and persistently instill in your baby new, correct behavioral skills.” (See Chapter 9 for more on developing bad habits.)

Peaceful sleep until the morning

A chapter on baby sleep wouldn't be complete without talking about when babies stop waking up in the middle of the night.

Let me first remind you that your baby's “day” is 24 hours. She does not distinguish between day and night and has no idea what it means to “sleep until the morning without waking up.” This is your desire (and need). Sleeping through the night is not an innate ability, but an acquired skill. You must accustom her to this and give her an idea of the difference between day and night. To this end, I offer the following reminder tips to parents.

Be guided by the principle “as much as has gone, so much has arrived.” For example, if he was very capricious in the morning, and instead of the next feeding he sleeps for an extra half hour, you will leave him alone, knowing that he needs this rest (if he lived on a strict schedule, you would wake him up). But don't forget common sense. Do not allow your baby to sleep more than one feeding cycle during the day, i.e. more than three hours, otherwise he will not sleep at night. I guarantee: no baby who slept for six hours during the day without a break will sleep more than three hours at night. And if your child does this, you can be sure that he has confused day with night. The only way“call him to order” - wake him up, and his night sleep will come exactly as many hours as it has lost from daytime sleep.

“Fill the tank full.” It sounds rough, but in order for a baby to sleep through the night, he must have full stomach. Therefore, from the age of six weeks, I recommend the following two feedings: pair feedings - every two hours in the run-up to sleep - and a sleep feeding just before you go to bed. For example, you give your baby the breast (or bottle) at 18:00 and 20:00 and arrange “sleep” feeding at 22:30 or 23:00. During this last feeding, the baby does not wake up, so its name should be taken literally. In other words, you carefully take the baby in your arms and touch her lightly lower lip nipple or pacifier, and let her be satisfied, and your job is to try not to wake her. When she finishes sucking, avoid burping. During sleep feedings, babies are so relaxed that they do not swallow air. Remain silent. Do not change the diaper unless it is soaking wet or soiled. With these two tricks, most babies can skip the night feedings because they've consumed enough calories for five to six hours.

Advice.“Sleepy” feeding of the artificial baby can be entrusted to the dad. At this time, most men are already at home, and they usually like this assignment.

Use a pacifier. If the pacifier does not turn into a “crutch”, this is a great help in helping you skip night feedings. A child weighing 4.5 kg or more, consuming at least 700-850 g of formula or having six to eight breastfeedings per day (four to five per daytime and two or three mated before bedtime), does not need another feeding in the middle of the night, so as not to die of hunger. If he still wakes up, then it's all about the sucking reflex. This is where a pacifier comes in handy, if you use it correctly. Let's say your baby usually needs 20 minutes of night feeding. If he wakes up crying, demands a breast or a bottle and is content with five minutes after sucking some drops, it is better to give him a pacifier.

On the first night, he will most likely suck on it for those 20 minutes until he falls into a deep sleep. The next night, perhaps, it will cost 10 minutes, and on the third he will not wake up at all at the usual time of night feeding, but will only fidget in his sleep. If he does wake up, give him a pacifier. In other words, instead of a bottle or breast, a pacifier is quite suitable. Gradually, the baby will completely stop waking up for this.

This was exactly the case with Cody, Juliana's son. Cody weighed 6.8 kg, and Juliana, after careful observation, realized that the boy woke up at 3:00 out of habit. Cody sucked from the bottle for about 10 minutes and immediately fell asleep. Juliana asked me for a visit, first of all, to make sure that her conclusion was correct (however, from her description alone I realized that she was right). Besides, she wanted Cody to learn how to wake up at this time. I spent three nights at their house. The first night, I took Cody out of his crib and gave him a pacifier instead of a bottle, which he sucked on for 10 minutes, just like he was used to sucking on a bottle. The next night I left him in his crib, gave him a pacifier, and this time he only nursed for three minutes. On the third night, as expected, Cody whimpered a little at 3:15, but did not wake up. That's all! From that moment on, he slept peacefully until six or seven in the morning.

Don't run up to the child. A baby's sleep is intermittent, so it is unwise to respond to any sound. I often convince parents to get rid of the damned “baby monitors”, which in an amplified form convey to their ears any sigh or squeak of the baby. These things turn parents into frantic panickers! I keep repeating: you need to understand the difference between a response and a rescue operation. When parents respond to a child's needs, the child grows up confident and unafraid to explore the world. But if his parents constantly “save” him, then he becomes imbued with doubts about his abilities. He does not develop the character traits and skills necessary to explore the world and feel calm and comfortable in it.