How to explain to your husband that family is more important than friends? Family Friends Family Friend for Husband and Wife
Male friendship, especially one that has been tested over the years, is a good and necessary thing. This is mutual assistance, an opportunity to speak out, and just relax in a male company where you are loved, appreciated and understood.
After work, your man goes out for a beer with friends or hurries to the garage to help them dismantle the car. He likes to spend his evenings in the bathhouse with friends, and spends his weekends fishing or going hunting with friends.
And there seems to be nothing reprehensible in the behavior of such a man. This is his area of interest and his way of relaxing. But there is one “but”! Being too carried away by communicating with friends, the husband pushes his family into the background, which means he puts friends above his beloved wife and children.
Of course, an adult man with normal self-esteem will always correctly prioritize in a relationship. He will put himself first on this list, then his beloved wife, children, and only then his parents and friends. If the priority system is broken, something needs to be done about that too!
Friends as a threat to family relationships
When your beloved husband runs away to his friends day after day, you immediately have suspicions about his mistress, don’t you? Surveillance and checks begin, and in the end it turns out that the loved one really spends time in the company of friends. And it seems like you can calm down, but no! Gatherings with friends increasingly cause your dissatisfaction, because your husband pays too much attention to them, not helping you around the house at all, not playing with the children and not taking care of the family in any other way.
A particularly alarming bell is the moment when your husband goes to see friends, knowing that you had certain plans for that evening - a shopping trip, a visit to your parents, or even a romantic dinner with a pleasant continuation...
Any woman will not like it when a man puts her below his friends. “I’m everything to him, and he...!” I just want to start a scandal!
Do not rush. Such complex issues cannot be resolved by hysteria, but by posing the question point blank - friends or family, you can swing the situation to the most critical point. He can choose friends only because he considers himself a free person, whom even his wife has no right to limit in her choice of leisure. And here he will be absolutely right. The point is not in his passion for friends, but in the amount of time spent with them and relegating his family to the background. Therefore, it is impossible to categorically pose the question – friends or family!
What can you do
As a wise woman, you must convey to your man, without shouting or ultimatums, exactly what you don’t like, and offer him acceptable options for resolving the situation.
Infiltrate the “enemy camp”
First of all, try to get to know your husband's friends better. Find out their interests, life priorities, find common topics of conversation with him, in general, become part of this company. It is quite possible that they have wives who are also puzzled by a similar problem. You could get to know each other, invite your husband’s friends and their wives to your home or dacha, have joint picnics in the forest, or go on vacation together to the sea.
Such a rapprochement with your husband’s friends will have a positive impact on your relationship and will actually eliminate the existing problem. From now on, your husband will spend time with your mutual friends, and you can dilute this company at any time. Moreover, if you wish, you can organize “get-togethers” with the wives of your husband’s friends, because it is quite possible that they, too, are bored in the absence of their loved ones.
By the way, even if you don’t like one of your husband’s friends at all, don’t rush to tell your spouse about it. Try to understand what exactly your husband likes about him. In any case, respect his choice and do not criticize him.
Establish family traditions
Another solution to the problem could be the establishment of family traditions. Talk calmly with your husband, explain that priority should be given to family, but there is no need to give up friends either. You can, for example, go to the garage not every evening, but once a week, and devote other evenings to your wife and children.
By the way, by agreeing with your loved one on similar rules for relaxation, you have every reason to relax in a similar way. For example, agree that you will spend 1 day a week separately: your husband with friends in the garage, and you with your girlfriends in a cafe. It will be great if, in addition to the tradition of taking a break from each other, you have a tradition of relaxing together. This could be a family trip to the dacha or an outing in the forest, a trip to the cinema or a romantic dinner for two.
Talk to your husband frankly
Learn to be frank with your loved one and dozens of misunderstandings will disappear from your life together. You shouldn’t blame your husband for the fact that you do all the housework and children, but he doesn’t appreciate it. Your loved one also works hard to provide for you and the children. Therefore, no insults or accusations!
Frankly tell him that you also get tired during the day, and you would like attention from him and some help. Ask how he can help you with the housework and offer your option. It is quite possible that you do not have enough time to relax in the evening and the problem would be solved if your husband bought a dishwasher.
Or maybe you're missing romance? Perhaps it’s not about friends at all, but about the fact that due to the constant absence of your loved one, you no longer feel desired? Maybe your intimate life has become bland and monotonous? Isn't it time to paint it with new colors? Talk about this with your loved one, the main thing is that the discussion takes place in a calm, friendly tone.
Weather in the house
Home is a place where you can relax both body and soul. Now think about it: is your husband resting at home after hard work? Does the atmosphere at home correspond to proper rest? Does he feel drawn to go home after work? If he increasingly runs away to his friends, it means that this is where his favorite vacation is or he is not very interested in spending time with you.
Think about what attracts him to you? What do you do in his absence? Is your life interesting, what are your hobbies? Perhaps you “suffocate” him with your care or limit his freedom, and he avoids this oppression?
Try to change your behavior strategy. Give him more freedom, teach him to be independent, let him become the real head of the family and make important decisions. Perhaps this is exactly what he always dreamed of! Try it yourself, just for the sake of experiment, to live for a week for your own pleasure, doing only what you like. Believe me, following your changes, your husband will begin to change.
No dependencies
Separately, let’s talk about a situation in which your husband’s communication with friends is reduced only to drinking beer and other alcoholic beverages. From such dubious hobbies comes a severe addiction that must be fought. Beer alcoholism is very dangerous; as a rule, severe alcohol addiction begins with it. Therefore, if your loved one runs off to see friends every evening, drink a glass or two of beer, fight the emerging addiction in every possible way and limit communication with your drinking buddies.
Instead of an afterword
It is impossible to force a man to give up his friends. But if you understand the interests of your loved one, if you try to hear and understand your husband, and also begin to change yourself in order to arouse his interest and desire to come home, you can solve the delicate problem of choosing between family and friends without scandals and ultimatums.
Love and understanding to you!
When a woman gets married, by default she expands her circle of acquaintances to include all her husband’s friends, regardless of whether she likes it or not. If mutual sympathy does not arise between the parties, the young husband finds himself at a crossroads - to meet his wife halfway or to remain faithful to old friendships.
How can a girl improve a relationship and should she do it? Find out why the fight for the attention of a loved one with his friends can end in tears and how to prevent a family tragedy.
Opposition theory
Every man definitely needs a field for self-expression - a society and a place where he could discuss topics that interest him “without censorship” and expect a reaction of approval in return. In a family environment, a guy asserts himself differently, and normally his behavior differs significantly from what is considered permissible in male company.
At the beginning of a marriage, while the “old priorities” are still at work in the relationship and the spouses are actively trying to defend their independence, friendship can come first for a man. He tries to prove to his friends and, first of all, to his young wife that entering into a marriage is not a reason to change his habits. Usually this situation in the family lasts for the first year after the wedding, after which the husband finally leans in favor of the side where he feels most comfortable.
Male friendship: protect or destroy?
The wife’s attitude towards her husband’s friends, as a rule, is formed during the difficult period of the “first year” for the family, and if the guy spends most of his free time meeting with friends, it cannot be positive. A woman faces a choice:
- leave everything as it is and come to terms with the fact that the husband will often disappear from home;
- make friends with your spouse’s friends by introducing yourself into their company;
- get rid of unwanted people by stopping your husband’s communication with them forever.
Having chosen an option for eliminating the danger that is acceptable to her, the girl must develop tactics of behavior and follow it to the end. She needs to be prepared for the fact that, sensing opposition, her husband’s friends will try to win the man over to their side, and whether they succeed or not will depend on her personal efforts.
In some cases, male friendship can be the key to the success of the head of the family and bring him not only pleasure from communication, but also contribute to the development of his financial and social status. In this case, even if the husband’s friend does not arouse the wife’s sympathy, it is better for her to leave the negativity to herself and develop a friendly and respectful attitude towards her new acquaintance.
Why do husbands choose friends?
Unlike women, for whom friendship means the opportunity to speak out and be heard, men perceive friendly communication as an option for self-realization. In the company of like-minded people or in the company of a best friend, a husband can temporarily abstract himself from the role of breadwinner and family protector and return again to the emotional state that preceded marriage.
In what cases can a man prefer the company of his comrades to the detriment of his family?
- immature character (infancy) and unwillingness to take responsibility;
- inability to behave naturally and at ease at home;
- low authority of the wife in the eyes of her husband;
- hysterical spouse and nervous atmosphere at home;
- a common hobby with friends that has been the basis of their relationship for many years (for example, fishing);
- reluctance to cause condemnation and receive henpecked status among acquaintances.
The husband may not be aware of the reason that drives him out of the house over and over again, but if this happens, the woman should look for the problem in her own attitude towards family life, and not in her husband’s communication with his friends. To deprive him of this resource by force means to doubt his masculinity and make him look ridiculous in front of his comrades. The husband, even having submitted to such a decision of his wife, may harbor a grudge against her, which will certainly lead to mutual disappointment.
A bad friend can't ruin a good husband
Women often complain that, under the influence of their best friend, their husband suddenly changes for the worse - he starts going out, drinking and showing aggression at home. However, the ability to radically change a person’s character is not characteristic of even the worst friends. People do not change suddenly, and no external circumstances can force a man to smoke and drink if these bad habits are contrary to his inner beliefs.
Those unpleasant traits that a woman reveals in her husband during his communication with friends have, in fact, always constituted the hidden essence of his nature, developing throughout his life. But it is easier for a wife to blame unmarried or morally unencumbered acquaintances of her husband for all the misfortunes than to admit that the husband himself is ready to take up a bottle or run off to a party at the first opportunity.
Before “weaning” your spouse from friendly get-togethers, you need to ask yourself: is everything really so perfect in the family that, having lost an outlet on the side - even in the form of “bad” friends - the spouse will happily spend the whole weekend at home? Perhaps, left alone with themselves and with problems that were only covered up by external factors, the husband and wife will understand how little they have in common and how poorly they, in essence, know each other.
A fight for attention that might not have happened
The complaints of girls faced with their husband’s busy entertainment schedule sound the same: “I don’t want to communicate with my husband’s friends, but I also can’t allow him, under the influence of his friends, to slide into infidelity or alcoholism.” As a result, the wife is present at men's gatherings, not receiving any pleasure from communication and darkening the fun of the entire company with her dissatisfied appearance. Or he sits at home, stressing himself out mentally and preparing the ground for the next scandal.
In fact, if the girl bothered to be frank first of all with herself, this phrase would sound like this: “I will not allow my husband to devote his attention to anyone else but me.” The wife is offended: she works just like her chosen one, takes care of the housework and would like to receive gratitude for this. In this situation, her husband’s meetings with friends are perceived by her as a betrayal. She is nervous, fantasizes, and harasses herself and her husband with phone calls.
Having gone through a difficult period of getting used to each other, having learned to appreciate their partner and his interests (and this comes with years of marriage), women begin to regret this wasted time when they tried to control their husband’s every move. The hours spent in nervous anticipation are gone forever, and the eternal scandals that accompany each return of the spouse force him to look for new opportunities to leave home. It turns out to be a vicious circle: demanding more attention to herself and not being able to argue her right with anything other than reproaches, the woman pushes the man away even more, and true friends become his salvation from an unbearable home environment.
Proper behavior with your husband's friends
At the beginning of family life or before the wedding, that X-meeting will definitely take place, which decides the girl’s future position in the established friendly environment of her husband. If a new participant in a get-together is “not welcome” and his friends directly tell the guy about this, there is a 95% chance that he will stop inviting his girlfriend to the company.
How can a girl behave correctly in a new society, so that the friends of her loved one consider her a worthy match for their friend and do not plot against her?
- You should immediately present yourself as an integral part of the spouse, so that friends do not even have doubts that from now on all their invitations and other issues will be considered not by one person, but by two.
- You need to think before you speak, and not rush to take sides in conversations, since behind every event in the company there is a story that is not yet known to the new participant.
- You cannot flirt or highlight any of your husband’s friends with your attention - such behavior of a girl will cause ridicule in his direction and will automatically impose a ban on her presence in this society.
- You should listen more and support your spouse more often in the conversation - this will give him confidence that his choice regarding his girlfriend has become the right one.
Most likely, there will be other girls in the company of your husband’s friends. If this is the case, then it is better for the newly arrived woman to first gain their favor. Even if guys don’t advertise it in society, at home they always listen to the opinions of their girlfriends, and this factor can be decisive for their friend’s bride.
How to get your husband out of a “bad” company
If in the company of friends a man reveals only his worst qualities, which make themselves felt in the home environment, the situation urgently needs to be changed. It will not work to forbid a guy to communicate with such people. Strong relationships between husband and friend are always justified on a deep psychological level. All that remains is to cool the old friendship, introducing doubt and mutual dissatisfaction with each other drop by drop.
Here are some of the easiest ways to expel “extra” people from your spouse’s comfort zone:
- You need to praise your husband more often, saying how positive he is and at the same time wondering how he finds something in common with such a gray mediocrity as his friend.
- A girl can occasionally hint to her husband that his friend is looking at her, that she does not like his “greedy” look.
- If her husband's friend makes some mistake, the girl needs to show her grief - mostly by the fact that her friend's behavior disgraces her loved one.
- During joint gatherings, it is permissible for a woman to ask her husband’s friends “uncomfortable” questions in a friendly manner, the answers to which will not show them in the best light.
And finally, a girl should always look good and look a little helpless - then any attacks from her husband’s friends in her direction will make her husband want to protect her, to rebel against everyone.
Relationship with ex-husband's friend
Due to various circumstances, the marriage may fall apart, and some friends of the ex-spouse may turn out to be sober-minded as to take the side of the weaker half. There is nothing wrong with a girl, even after a divorce, continuing to communicate with her husband’s friend, even an ex-husband, but sometimes mutual understanding develops into a stronger feeling. It is much more difficult for guys to decide to follow it than for girls, because on one side of the scale they find themselves on the other side of the scale and on the other is a love adventure, which can either develop into a strong union or end in nothing.
For a woman, the possibility of a relationship with her husband's best friend is not so much a matter of ethics as an agreement with her own conscience. Short-sighted young ladies use such a move as revenge on their “ex” or to forget themselves with a person who “knows everything.” For a serious-minded girl, the opinion of her husband who was left behind is important. The thought “what will the ex think” lingers in a woman’s mind long after a divorce, and it is this thought that often becomes the reason why a promising friendship with her husband’s friend becomes impossible.
If the couple nevertheless decides to take an important step, the girl should remember three important “don’ts”:
- never reproach a man for betraying a comrade;
- do not compare life with a new guy with those relationships that are a thing of the past;
- do not allow the young man to think that he is being used as an instrument of revenge.
The option when men continue to be friends even after they have changed roles in relation to the girl is considered not the best. If men find a common language well, they will always be in solidarity to the detriment of anything, which means that a woman needs to be prepared for the fact that all conflicts in her new family will be viewed through the prism of a failed marriage.
Psychologist comments
When getting married, a girl prepares herself in advance for the fact that new life circumstances will force her husband to change his attitude towards friends, giving them second place on the scale of importance, but this opinion is wrong. A man does not consider his established marital status from the point of view of sacrifice; for him, marriage is a new component of a happy present, fitting in with other elements of joy, such as communication with friends.
Not a single normal man will answer positively to the bride’s question asked during premarital relations about whether he is ready to break with all friendly ties, having found family happiness. A man simply will not understand how these two moments of his cloudless future can supplant each other, and he will be right in his own way. The mistake of many young wives is that after the wedding they directly issue an ultimatum: “Either me or them!”, without even realizing that the desired effect can be achieved without squabbles and mutual accusations.
A well-groomed, affectionate, always playful wife who meets her husband in a good mood, no matter where he comes from - from work or from a friendly party - is a guarantee that within a short time new associations will form in the man’s mind. It is no longer a friend’s bachelor apartment or a cafe that will appear before his eyes when planning his next weekend, but a cozy home with a friendly hostess.
On Saturday, when the birds had just woken up and were singing cheerful songs, in their chirping language, a car stopped near the entrance, rustling tires. The man behind the wheel looked at the familiar windows, smiled, but looked at his watch and decided to wait. The city was no longer sleeping, although it was a day off. A young mother was walking near the entrance, pushing a blue stroller in front of her. The spokes on the wheels sparkled in the rays of the sun, and the man involuntarily closed his eyes. It rained at night. It seemed that someone had carefully washed the houses, and they stood wet with sad windows and were reluctant to dry. Two kids jumped out of the entrance and rushed past, chasing the ball.
“Still, what a wonderful yard,” Evgeniy thought to himself and smiled. After standing still, he did not dare to get out of the car and go up to the 4th floor. He started the engine and the car, as if apologizing for the early visit, drove out of the gate.
Katya woke up earlier than usual and, feeling the bed, did not find her husband in it. “He’s probably already woken up and is preparing breakfast for me.” Katya relaxed in bed and, pulling a robe over her naked body, went to look for her husband. The tenderness of the night and unrestrained sex were still sleeping in the bed. Rumpled sheets and scattered pillows were reminders of a nighttime battle in which there were no losers.
Katya entered the kitchen, but did not find her husband; she found a radio on the refrigerator, pressed the button, and the morning began with a cheerful voice: “Good morning, dear radio listeners. It's spring outside. Wake up quickly, otherwise you’ll sleep through the most interesting part...” Then I listened to the horoscope and remembered the words “Leos are very loving today, try to enjoy the surprises this day will bring. Don’t refuse new offers……”. Katya went to the window and noticed how their old friend’s car drove away from the entrance.
“Volodya apparently left with him - he didn’t want to wake me up.” Katya stood up on her tiptoes and turned on the electric kettle. In the morning, regardless of the day of the week, she could not live without aromatic invigorating coffee, especially since she no longer wanted to sleep.
Having cheered up, Katerina went out onto the balcony, completely forgetting that she had not tied her robe at her waist. Raising her arms up, she pulled herself up and her breasts were exposed. Without noticing this, the woman stood on the balcony and dreamed, closing her eyes. They began to stop near the entrance and, realizing the reason for the crowd of local onlookers (among whom the majority were retired men), she wrapped her robe around her and, winking at her grandfathers, went into the apartment. The mood was wonderful. The day promised to be good.
Vladimir woke up very early, removed his wife’s hand from his chest, he kissed her temple and decided to visit an old friend whom he had known since school. Zhenya understood and supported him in everything, and today he decided that they simply needed to talk. In order not to waste time, he called a taxi and left. But having arrived to visit and not finding Evgeniy at such an early hour, I was a little upset and decided to go to work and pick up a few papers that might be useful on Monday at a scheduled meeting.
Eugene, having toured the local courtyards, decided to return and still pay a visit. His mobile phone rang and he answered cheerfully:
Good morning, Volodya, are you home?
Zhenya, I went to see you, but apparently we missed each other, I’m in the office now, but I’ll be there soon, I really need to talk to you...
A beep was heard on the phone. The man, after thinking a little, decided not to waste time and drove into the yard. Having parked, they got out of the car with a bag of oranges, which Katya loves so much.
Who's there? – the woman asked, looking out the peephole, and seeing oranges in front of her eyes, she opened the doors.
Without any further questions, she let Zhenya in and slammed the doors.
Hello! How glad I am to see you, but Volodya is not there. “I thought you were going somewhere together,” Katya, pouting her lips playfully, suddenly laughed cheerfully and, accepting her favorite oranges as a gift, hurried to the kitchen.
Zhenya visited their home quite often, knew every thing in the house and always felt good here. And this time, going into the hall, he took a book from the shelf and, after leafing through it, slammed it shut. He liked Katya's short robe. How he wished there was nothing under it, and it would suddenly accidentally swing open, exposing her body. He bit his lip out of desire, feeling a slight heat in his groin area. “So old man, control yourself - this is a friend’s wife, it’s like a sister,” but someone’s persistent voice inspired him, “She’s not your sister - she’s a woman, and a very impressive one at that.”
Katya was not surprised by his friend’s visit; he came to see them very often, and they had lunch and even dinner together. Sometimes friends would sit up and talk for a long time about something, and Zhenya would leave very late. Katya got so used to Zhenya that, without hesitation, she walked around the rooms half-naked. This alarmed my husband at first, but when he didn’t see the twinkle in his friend’s eyes, he calmed down and stopped paying attention to such little things.
The woman decided to whip up breakfast and feed herself and the men. The fried eggs were already frying on the stove, when suddenly she felt warm palms on her waist. She didn’t turn around, didn’t protest, but simply froze. Zhenya stood behind her and stroked her. The palms wandered around the thighs and buttocks. Unable to bear it, Katya sighed with unexpectedly surging pleasure. He didn’t say a word, but simply stroked her, feeling how her body was agitated, how she responded to his touches with half-sighs.
Zhenya…….we can’t….- Katya tried to object, feeling her nipples filling with desire.
He remained silent, afraid to utter a word; he liked her defenselessness. His hand went to her stomach and, pressing slightly on her lower abdomen, he felt her legs tremble.
I have wanted you for a long time, Katya, from the very minute I saw you. If you don’t mind, I ask you to be mine, at least once - I will never forget it.
His lips kissed her neck and ears. She sighed, afraid to object, feeling wild desire and fear at the same time. She knew Evgeniy all her married life, but never considered him as a lover.
The man began to more persistently stroke his thighs and knead his buttocks in his palms. His hand was on her stomach again, and this time he gently tugged at the waistband. The robe opened and he felt her hot body. She was burning, turned on to the fullest, and he stroked her, timidly squeezing her breasts with his palms.
Zhenechka, what if Volodya returns…..I’m afraid.
He was in no hurry to conquer new territories of her body. He liked Katya’s embarrassment, and, turned on to the limit, he pressed himself against her, no longer embarrassed by his elasticity, tightly pressed to her butt.
“Oh, Zhenya,” she breathed out, feeling the robe slipping to the floor and her shoulders being covered with hot kisses.
He kissed her shoulders, her neck. And then, stroking the bare back, he ran his tongue along the spine, pulling moans of pleasure from the lips of the desired woman. Zhenya kissed her back, tickling some areas with his tongue, and Katya, forgetting about everything in the world, indulged in the pleasure given to her that morning.
His kisses and hands drove her crazy, she either rose on her toes, then stood on her entire heel, feeling how everything inside was trembling with excitement. And he enjoyed her body, losing his head next to the one he thought about at night.
Lifting her up, he sat her down on the table and unzipped his pants. Katya, opening her legs, hugged him with them and attracted him, not giving him a chance to retreat from his plan. The trousers dropped to the floor and he, taking her half-bent legs under the knees in his hands, entered. Gently penetrating Katya's womb, he trembled with ecstasy and kissed her eyes. A bag of oranges fell on the floor and orange balls rolled along the corridor.
He loved her passionately and quickly, plunging his cock into her hot and wet. She hugged him, giving herself completely. His eyes were filled with a wild desire to tear her into pieces and love-love her to the point of insanity as long as he could hold his legs. Zhenya raised her leg and began to kiss her, penetrating deeper and stroking her elastic thighs.
Katya, sitting on the table where the three of them so often gathered, moaned loudly. Their groans were probably heard by the whole city, well, if not the city, then definitely the neighbors. But that didn't stop them. Through the open window of the 4th floor, the moans of a thirsty man and a loving woman could be heard, mixing and flowing into one common powerful sound.
Of course, they did not hear the key turn in the lock and did not notice Volodya’s two surprised eyes. Before he could cross the threshold, he saw oranges scattered on the floor and bent down to pick up at least one and immediately dropped it when he heard sounds in the kitchen. There was a table right opposite the kitchen door, and on it was his Katyusha and his friend, who loved her, kissing her on the lips and moving his pelvis.
The folder with documents fell out of his hands, but having come to his senses, Volodya silently walked up to the kitchen and coughed. There was a moment of silence. Zhenya stopped, a guilty smile froze on his lips, and Katya, hiding her eyes, did not look at her husband, batting her eyelashes and not knowing what to do.
Vladimir asked quietly:
Katyusha, is it really comfortable on the table? It's much nicer in bed. Since this has already happened, I suggest we go to the bedroom. I’ve known for a long time that my wife dreams of “talking” with two people at the same time,” he smiled, winking at both frightened ones.
Katya jumped off the table and, looking at her husband with adoration, ran into the bedroom, followed by Evgeniy, a little confused by what had happened. Vladimir, a little later, followed them, feeling that they would not get out of bed this weekend....
P.S. All characters are fictitious, any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental.
Good day to all....
My story began not so long ago. I met my future husband several years ago. I was 20 years old, he was 23. It was love at first sight. We met for a week, he proposed, We got married, we had a daughter. Let me tell you right away, he is a wonderful family man, a caring father, he loves me, but very rarely expresses it emotionally. After giving birth, we became less close, the child is small, and I didn’t look my best, to put it mildly. So, life seemed to be not bad.. We have a family friend, if possible That’s what to call him, More precisely, he’s my husband’s best friend. He often visited us, but other than hello, how are you, our communication was no different. He worked in another city. It all happened at the beginning of last year, after moving back he began to visit us quite often. I never looked at him as a man. He is not handsome, my husband is much more attractive, I never liked his lifestyle our friend (Sasha) and how he communicates with girls. And then something inexplicable to me happened. I was in the hospital with the child and it was already the day of discharge and my husband could not come to pick us up, he asked Sasha to come. Sasha took us home, helped me carry my bag, and as I closed the door, I caught his gaze on me, incomprehensible and strange to me. After that, we rarely saw each other, but I began to look at him like a woman looking at a man, and not like a friend looking at a friend. But everything passed quickly and I forgot about it until the next meeting. Summer came and Sasha invited my husband and me for a walk, we went to the bar, sat and chatted nicely and went to our house at home, the gatherings continued with jam and tea, we chatted and laughed. My husband went to bed, Sasha and I sat in the kitchen and continued talking, We always shared our problems with each other, our victories with everyone. After talking all night, we finally went to bed. In the morning, my husband went to work. I woke up, my daughter was still sleeping, I went to wake up Sasha. With the words weirdo, wake up, I I started to wake him up, waking up and saying that I was a terrible person, Sasha grabbed me by the leg and threw me on the bed and hugged me. I’m in shock, because I didn’t expect this, - your heart is beating strongly, he said. It’s beating because of that I'm shocked. What are you doing??
I just want to hug you...I got up and went to make coffee. Sasha came and we sat down to drink coffee. He - I’m just like that, I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me. I said, come on, forgot everything was fine. After that we didn’t see each other for about 2 weeks. Then Sasha came to visit us. And we again found ourselves in hugs... and this went on for quite a long time, about a month, we hugged and chatted, it was
O
no kisses, no intimacy. We joked with him and said that this was very strange. The next month, at the next moment of our embrace, he kissed me... and that’s probably where it all started. There was no intimate life with my husband. But Sasha is different He
gentle, affectionate, caring. We couldn’t sleep for a long time, as soon as it came to this, he couldn’t then I. We felt that we were betraying a loved one, but we were drawn to each other. And it still happened. We felt good together and At the same time, I felt very bad that I was cheating on my husband, that I was betraying him. I was looking for an excuse for myself.
that my husband could also cheat on me. There were reasons to think so... and I simply didn’t have enough affection and care from him, and endless conversations on this topic did not give any results.... So 6 months passed. Sasha and I were like schoolchildren in love hiding in the corners. He never said that he loved me. But I felt that he had some feelings for me. He affectionately called me a little girl. He and I agreed that when our obsession ends, we will still communicate. But after he didn’t come to the meeting on my birthday. And now for 2 months he hasn’t answered calls or letters. We stopped communicating. I call him, he doesn’t answer the phone, and my mind has become clouded, I’ve become obsessed with him. I call, write I ask him to simply explain the reason for leaving, why?? he didn’t explain anything, he just disappeared. I understand that we cannot be together. Because I will never destroy a family, a child must have a father. I understand that I treated my husband like the last woman who betrayed him, although he doesn’t know anything, but I’m disgusted by all this. I don’t know why I continue to write to Sasha, because he’s everything - still doesn’t answer. It’s so disgusting in my soul, I really want to heal from this addiction, but I can’t, I constantly think about him, about what happened, I go over that day before he disappeared, every minute, second, I remember every word , why did he do that... Everything is aggravated by the fact that I communicate very well with his mother, and of course I’m interested in how Sasha is doing. Sasha stopped communicating with many people, went headlong into business. He told her that he was in a relationship. What’s his name throw it out of my heart, get over it, forget not to write and call into emptiness......Knowing myself, if he had come and said everything directly honestly, I would not have called or written to him and we would have just quietly parted ways, time would have passed and we would have become communicate as before when they were just friends, but without saying or explaining anything.... it’s a shame that the person did this.
Sorry for the confusion of the text, it’s just a real mess in my head, it seems to me that my mind has gone to a psychiatric hospital