Postpartum depression. Postpartum depression, psychosis and baby blues: working on your mood How to improve your mood after childbirth

The hardest part is over - you successfully survived the birth and are now at home, and the baby is fast asleep in her crib. Your husband is crazy with happiness and loves you even more. Relatives and friends pour in congratulations and gifts. In a word, live and be happy. And you want to cry. You feel anxiety that comes from nowhere. It seems as if something is about to happen, and all the good things will dissolve like a dream. Don't be alarmed, you are not the only one this happens to. All women experience such sensations in the first few days after childbirth.

However, in ~50% of women this depressed state drags on and ceases to resemble ordinary sadness or worry. This condition is called postpartum depression. In women, it can manifest itself to a lesser or greater extent, for a short time or last for many months. Postpartum depression occurs in 50% of women, and in 13% it is severe.

Postpartum depression- a painful condition of a woman after childbirth, characterized by a depressed mood, tearfulness, reluctance to see her child, and reversible mental disorders. In most cases, PD is not too severe, but in severe cases, the mother may even have a desire to kill herself or the child. Such women require treatment in special institutions.

Video No. 1: About postpartum depression

Signs and causes of depression

All of the above exhausts a woman and makes her irritable. Internal emptiness and indifference to everything that previously gave pleasure and joy appears. A woman becomes indifferent and indifferent to her husband; it may seem to her that her love for him has passed. Moreover, all the men in the world become disgusted with her.

Apathy reaches such a degree that it manifests itself in indifference to the child, reluctance to care for him, even to the point of hostility.

Causes:

sharp hormonal changes that occur during and during childbirth;
psychological unpreparedness for motherhood or reluctance to do so;
physical exhaustion of the body, fatigue, overexertion, difficult childbirth, financial or family troubles;
hereditary, age (after 40 years) or personal predisposition to depressive conditions.

Somatic symptoms can also be added to everything else.

Somatic symptoms:

common headaches or migraines;
increased heart rate, dizziness;
indigestion (decreased appetite, constipation);
neuralgia;
skin itching;
insomnia, nightmares, suicidal thoughts, desire to harm yourself or the newborn;
menstrual irregularities or disappearance of menstruation, frigidity.

Video No. 2

Psychologist Anna Galepova talks about postpartum depression, anxiety, and fears for the child:

Fighting depression

If you have mild postpartum depression, you can get rid of it on your own. The most important thing is for the woman to understand that this condition is temporary and in order to get rid of this condition, a certain attitude is required.

Remind yourself often that a miracle has happened in your life, something many can only dream of. Remember what you had to go through for this miracle to happen. Thank God (fate) that everything went well, everyone is alive and well. Feel the peculiarity of your situation, then your home routine will seem like a small thing in life.
Think about how much your baby needs your love now that he is helpless in a new world. Take the baby in your arms more often, stroke him, talk affectionately. Tactile contact and breastfeeding contribute to the production of “happiness hormones” that will help you fully experience the joy of motherhood, tenderness and love for the baby.
No matter how the circumstances develop, try to understand that you are not alone now. There is a person in the world whose well-being depends on you.
If possible, be sure to allow yourself to be alone with yourself. Every person should have a personal life and personal time, otherwise he loses his individuality and becomes depressed. Give yourself a day off when your husband is home. Many women are initially afraid to leave their babies with their fathers - get over it. An increased sense of responsibility will only drive you into even greater depression. Take your phone and go shopping, to the cinema or to the hairdresser. If things get tough, they will call you. Even breastfeeding should not interfere with a full life; a breast pump is your good assistant in this matter ().
Don't be ashamed of being overweight - it's a temporary, natural phenomenon. The extra pounds will leave you within a year, especially if you are breastfeeding, because the fat accumulated during pregnancy goes into milk ().
Get enough sleep. Don't take on all the worries; leave some of them for your husband, grandmother, grandfather or nanny. You must have an assistant. If you feel tired, choose rest rather than cleaning and cooking.
Do not listen to those who give you advice to go on a diet to lose weight or eliminate a bunch of foods from your diet, fearing that your child will have allergies. If you are a nursing mother, eat whatever you want and as much as you want, excluding obvious allergens. Right now you need to eat well and gain strength after stress ().
The person closest to you is your husband. Do not move away from him in silent mystery. Men have a poor understanding of a woman's emotional states. Talk to him and tell him specifically what is happening to you, what you feel, what you are thinking, ask for help. He will only be grateful to you for your trust.
Don't get lost in loneliness. Chat with other mothers, have heart-to-heart conversations. Surely, you will meet women with the same problems. Perhaps one of them managed to solve them or you will become like-minded people in this struggle. In any case, this will be of support to you.
Many relaxation and meditative techniques (aromatherapy, bath, massage) teach how to cope with depression on your own. At first, newborns sleep a lot, so you have time to relax, read, and simply do nothing.

When you need specialist help

What to do if all this does not relieve depression, and you no longer understand how to get out of this state? It may be worth contacting a specialist. It is better if it is a perinatal psychologist or psychotherapist. First you will need to remove your anxiety and fears. The doctor will help you relax, normalize your mood, and return to your natural perception of life. Different techniques can be used: NLP, psychoanalysis, hypnosis or others, depending on the skills of the specialist and the factors that caused postpartum depression.

Next, the psychotherapist may suggest that you undergo family and cognitive psychotherapy sessions, during which internal family problems, childhood complexes, grievances and everything that can return you to a depressive state after some time will be worked out.

Treatment is consolidated by analyzing negative scenarios and changing the woman’s life attitudes and views on problems.

In severe cases of depression, women are prescribed antidepressants or anti-anxiety medications. But due to their high toxicity, they are taken in exceptional cases. If it is impossible to refuse medications, you have to sacrifice breastfeeding.

Prevention

Prevention of depression involves informing a pregnant woman about possible changes in her emotional state after childbirth.

In most cases, a woman, understanding the cause of a depressive mood, is able to control her emotional background and get out of this state after some time. The support of loved ones and spouse during pregnancy is important. Healthy, warm relationships in the family are the key to a successful postpartum period for a woman. Women whose status is already burdened by depressive episodes or some kind of trouble should be especially closely monitored.

When it passes

Women wonder how long postpartum depression lasts, because it is easier to cope with any condition if you know its timing.

A mild form of depression can last only a couple of months, but it can last for six months. Severe depression without treatment can last for years.

But when the depression passes, everyone can breathe a sigh of relief. After all, the happiness of the family directly depends on whether the woman is happy. Having overcome this condition, many women then remember with a smile all their whims, tears and obsessive thoughts, and forget what they went through. No one is immune from illness; the support of loved ones and a psychotherapist will speed up recovery.

Video stories

Lecture

Postpartum depression: myth or reality?

Is postpartum depression a really serious condition of body and spirit or just an invention of hysterical mothers who cannot control themselves? What are the causes of postpartum depression and how to avoid it?

Often, joy after the birth of a child is replaced by sadness in the mood of a young mother. All worries are over, the baby is healthy and full of strength, life goes on. However, instead of feeling the joy of accomplished motherhood, the woman suddenly feels very tired, overwhelmed and completely lost in strength. Why does this happen and how to deal with postpartum apathy?

Causes of apathy in the postpartum period

The primary reason that a young mother feels tired after childbirth is hormonal changes in the body. Hormones are involved in all processes occurring in the body and sudden changes in the production of one or another hormone can lead to bad mood, irritability and sadness. Hormonal levels, as a rule, normalize during the first weeks after childbirth, and ideally, the mood of the young mother should also return to normal, but as practice shows, this does not always happen.

The second reason for poor health can be heavy bleeding and complications after childbirth. Physical exhaustion, which arose due to large blood loss, is often manifested by dizziness, lack of appetite, apathy and reluctance to care for the baby. This mood will pass as soon as the mother’s physical condition returns to normal.

The third cause of negative emotions is postpartum stress. This condition is observed in 80% of women who give birth. Stress brings with it loss of appetite, a feeling of chronic fatigue, lack of desire to enjoy life, dissatisfaction with everything around, self-pity and sleep disturbances.

Stress can be dangerous and, if prolonged, can develop into postpartum depression. In this case, it will be difficult for the woman to return to normal life on her own and will require the help of a specialist.

How to recognize the causes of apathy

Experts say that the state of chronic fatigue in the first months after childbirth is most often associated with physical exhaustion. A woman’s body is really tired during the period of bearing and giving birth to a baby. Hormonal surges, emotional stress, postpartum complications and changes in lifestyle affect vitality and physical activity.

In order to get in shape again and start enjoying life, a young mother needs to rest more, walk in the fresh air and eat properly and nutritiously.

If heavy bleeding was observed during childbirth, it is necessary to take tests for iron levels in the blood. Iron deficiency anemia is often disguised as stress and fatigue.

How to avoid complications in the first months

In order to avoid psychological stress and be able to live a full, happy life, you need to help yourself in the first months after childbirth.

After the birth of the baby, you should carefully follow all the recommendations of doctors. Postpartum therapy is aimed at the speedy recovery of a woman from all birth injuries and complications. You need to get plenty of rest, especially in the maternity hospital, eat right and sleep well.
After discharge from the maternity hospital, you should also try to rest as much as possible. Ask a close relative to take over all household chores. Sleep when your baby sleeps, walk in the fresh air and include more vitamins in your diet.
In the first weeks after childbirth, carefully monitor your health. If sudden bleeding, pain, or on the contrary, the discharge suddenly stops, consult a doctor immediately. Do not neglect your scheduled visit to the gynecologist, which should take place 10-14 days after birth. This will allow specialists to adequately assess your condition and prevent possible complications in time.
Avoid overexertion and heavy lifting. If the birth was natural, from the second week you can start doing basic physical exercises that will help restore muscle tone and lift your spirits. Loads must be increased gradually.
Many young mothers can say when to relax here if everything needs to be washed, cleaned and disinfected? Stop, a child is not a greenhouse plant, you don’t need to wash the whole house with bleach every day. Forget about Mr. Proper and Domestos! General cleaning must be done, but not more than once a week. All other days you can simply maintain order. The main rules for you should be washing your hands before picking up your baby, keeping your child’s clothes clean and ironed, and regular hygiene procedures. In this case, your baby is not afraid of numerous microbes to which he must adapt.
Leave the child alone. Many mothers flutter over their baby like quons, and even wake him up so that he eats on time! Relax, rest while the baby sleeps, he will wake up and demand food when he needs it.

When can you show your newborn to friends and family?

This is how you can help your body recover quickly in the first weeks after childbirth and regain the joy of life.

If the apathy continues

If you get enough rest, eat right, walk a lot, and the feeling of fatigue does not go away 6 months after giving birth, you need to look at yourself from the outside and take measures to correct the situation.

The reasons for continued apathy lie in your attitude towards yourself and the world around you.

Many women simply cannot adapt to new living conditions in time and experience stress after childbirth. It seems to them that being a mother is too difficult. Of course motherhood is hard work. And this work will continue throughout your life, because no matter how old your child becomes, for you he will remain your baby, and all your life you will worry and worry about him.

You thought things would be different. Everyone thinks so. Everyone thinks that the figure will remain the same, the relationship with the husband will be romantic, and the child will sleep at night and will never get sick. In order for this to happen, you need to work. After all, family and relationships within it are constant work, first of all on yourself. Here are some tips on how to get out of the difficult psychological state of postpartum stress:

You have to like yourself. Play sports, clean yourself up, change your hairstyle, take off your robe. Many women, forced to become a housewife after childbirth, stop taking care of themselves and every look in the mirror brings sadness and melancholy to them. Make it a habit to smile at yourself every morning. Then your day will start with positive emotions, and this is very important for a healthy atmosphere within the family.
Do not take out your irritation on your child and others. This will only aggravate the situation and cause concern for the baby and alienation of the husband.
Develop yourself. Maternity leave is a great opportunity to learn something new. Learn a new profession, fortunately all you need to do is turn on the computer, do what you love, and you will see that the world around you has begun to change rapidly and the colors of life are gradually returning.
Bring back a vibrant intimate life. Sexual satisfaction is very important both for a man’s self-esteem and for the harmony in a woman’s soul. The baby still sleeps a lot, and you can easily find some time for romantic meetings with your husband.

How to behave as a woman after childbirth

The postpartum period is a difficult experience for many women. In this situation, it is important to remember that a lot depends on your emotional state. First of all, this concerns the child, because if the mother is nervous and irritated, the baby instantly reacts with crying and anxiety. Bring joy back into your family and you will become a truly happy mother and wife!

Most of us have heard stories of women suffering from postpartum depression. Almost all pregnant women and their families fear that this could happen to them. However, only 0.2% of women suffer from severe depression. Approximately 80% of new mothers experience some degree of depression and cry a lot during the first days and weeks, and 10% are somewhere in the middle: they experience emotional problems longer, but these problems are not so serious and do not require long-term treatment.

Postpartum depression and hormones

Childbirth is accompanied by a feeling of euphoria that cannot be compared with anything else in life. It’s worth giving birth just to experience this wonderful feeling of relief and relaxation. Mom then enjoys a well-deserved rest and wakes up, refreshed, with the feeling that the world is beautiful.

Temporary tearfulness and feelings of disappointment often appear in the first days after childbirth, especially while the woman is still in the hospital. That’s why this condition is called “three-day sadness.”

During this period, a number of psychological and hormonal changes occur. There may be pain from postoperative sutures, discomfort due to overcrowding of the breast, and bloody discharge appears during contraction - everything that the body has created over the past nine months comes out. The stomach looks like an empty bag, and the skin on it looks like corrugated paper.

At the same time, the hormones estrogen, progesterone and human chorionic gonadotropin, which were necessary during pregnancy, are replaced by oxytocin and prolactin, lactation hormones. As a result of hormonal changes after childbirth, a woman may suffer from sudden mood swings, from irritability to depression, from excess energy to apathy - just like during the premenstrual period and menopause.

A few days after the birth of our first child, my husband came to my maternity hospital and found me sitting on the floor in tears, among scattered things. And all because I couldn’t find a hairbrush in my bag!

Such changes, which are the result of the monstrous physical and emotional efforts expended during pregnancy and childbirth, normally disappear within a few days.

Comment on the article "A woman after childbirth: from a burst of energy to tears - one step"

Depression overtakes every woman after childbirth, so she must persevere through it; it’s all due to hormones, which return to normal over time. At such times, you need to ask for help from family and friends, and if you can’t, try to find time to relax or read useful articles like this [link-1]

26.06.2016 23:51:25,

All this bypassed me. Luckily, I just slept with the baby for the first month, so I had no time to freak out and be nervous.

10.28.2015 13:20:57, Alla Sankova

Total 2 messages .

How to cope with depression?

To help yourself get through this difficult postpartum period as quickly as possible and reduce negative emotions, there are several steps you can take.

Try to remain attractive. It is important for a woman to like herself in the mirror. Of course, after giving birth, there is desperately not enough time for this, but you need to allocate at least 10-15 minutes a day for a minimum of usual procedures. Give yourself a trendy but easy-to-style haircut, and then you won't have to spend a lot of time making your hair look beautiful. Buy comfortable but fashionable clothes for home and outings with your child.
Learn to understand the child. You need to get used to reacting calmly to crying. In the vast majority of cases, crying does not mean any illness. At the moment when the child starts crying, you should think about what he wants. The main needs of this age are food, closeness to the mother and new sensations, the need to change a diaper.
Communicate more with your child. Talk to your baby as much as possible, even if he is only a few days old. By constantly talking and cooing with your child, you yourself calm down and bring your nervous system into balance. And the benefits of such communication for the development of the child’s emotional system, his intelligence and speech cannot be overestimated.
Let them help you. Do not refuse help in the first time after childbirth. Even if we are talking about a person with whom you do not have a very good relationship. You can always ask to do some homework or take a walk with your sleeping baby while you can get some rest.
Take your husband as an ally. It’s not easy for both of you now: you are getting used to the new roles of dad and mom. Until you understand how to do it “correctly”. But each family has its own correctness, although it is not developed so quickly. Talk to each other as much as possible. Talk about what you think is important. Remember that the husband, most likely, sincerely does not understand how exactly such young children are cared for. The more specific your request for help, the more likely it is to be fulfilled.
No lack of communication! One of the problems of young mothers is a sharp decrease in their social circle: “child - husband - child - child - child.” In order to reduce the lack of communication, try to meet mothers with strollers like you on the street. You will have many interesting topics to talk about. Often women remain friends for many years. And don't forget about the Internet. This is a wonderful opportunity to communicate at a time convenient for you with people in the same life situation. By discussing problems, you will understand that you are not alone in your experiences, and mutual support will give you strength. You will be able to meet new people, and, when you find out that someone lives nearby, make real friends!
A bath of rose petals will also help you well, which will not only relieve stress, fatigue, depression, but also tones, giving joy and tenderness!

The trouble is that for the vast majority of women, the effects of hormones are accompanied by fatigue, self-doubt and (the worst thing) family crises. In such situations, depression can drag on and poison the happiness of motherhood for a long time. It is difficult to give recipes here; if the household gathered around the child’s crib understands what unites them, about the family they have created and do not want to lose, then it will be possible to jointly find solutions to many problems.

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I am me! How to feel fully like a woman after the birth of a child?

(If you don’t have the strength to be a mother)

There are different types of fatigue

Just recently, you dreamed that immediately after the birth of your baby, you would become the happiest mother. But for some reason, the elated mood is constantly replaced by a depressed one. The desire to relax and get a good night's sleep remains the main dream. But more often you want to change all the mirrors in the house so as not to see your reflection in them: how can you come to terms with what you see in them?! The crying of a child increasingly causes irritation instead of a desire to come up and find out what your baby is saying... “I’m tired!” - that’s what I want to shout to everyone who enters the house. Please note that such conditions after childbirth are familiar to one degree or another to every woman... regardless of the number of assistants, wealth in the house, or even the number of children already existing.

What is behind these mother’s words “I’m tired”

Our chief doctor, Elena Yuryevna Pechnikova, suggests considering any mother’s fatigue, primarily depending on the time frame in which it is observed. In the first month after childbirth, the physiological fatigue of the body, which has done a lot of hard work, is often the basis of fatigue or its leading component. During the first half of a child's life, physiological fatigue gradually gives the leading role to psychological fatigue. But all the fatigue that persists after the second half of the year and beyond is based on psychological and psychosomatic factors.

What to do if, on the one hand, fatigue is inevitable, because they have not yet invented a way for a mother to carry a child for 9 months, then give birth to him, and at the same time her body does not work and does not waste its strength on it. On the other hand, for some, fatigue is greater and lasts longer, while for others, by the second month of life it may remain only a memory. So, after all, there is a way out.

Fatigue in the first months after childbirth

Helping the body

So, what is the postpartum period and how to behave correctly during this time? How to restore your strength, your appearance, and at the same time your emotional state? Postpartum recovery specialist, Blokh Maria Evgenievna, says that usually there is an early postpartum period within 8-12 days after birth and a late one, lasting up to 6-8 weeks after birth. During this time, your body returns to normal, restoring the functions of all organs and systems after pregnancy and childbirth. During pregnancy, your uterus provided reliable protection and a cozy home for your baby. Over the course of 9 months, she, of course, changed, the walls of the uterus became thinner, and she increased several times. And after giving birth, she again needs to change, take on her original shape and size, for this the uterus contracts and at first painful contractions in the lower abdomen, the so-called “postpartum contractions,” may be felt, most often during feeding. In this case, you can do a light stroking massage of the abdomen and rub the lower back.

Within 10 days, the cervix is formed, then the uterine os is completely closed, the inner surface of the uterus is lined with new epithelium by the end of the postpartum period. While recovery is underway, the woman experiences vaginal discharge; during the first five days it is profuse, similar to heavy menstruation. Gradually their character changes, the blood disappears, the amount decreases and by the end of 5-6 weeks the discharge completely stops. If a few days after birth the discharge suddenly stops, this is a reason to immediately consult a doctor. A good preventive measure against blood stagnation is movement. If a woman does not lie down, but walks, recovery occurs faster. However, the loads need to be increased gradually. To avoid complications, women should not lift heavy objects. Doctors generally do not recommend lifting anything heavier than her baby. Hypothermia must be avoided.

The maternity hospital will strongly recommend that you visit a gynecologist 10-14 days after birth. This is necessary so that the doctor can monitor how well everything is going. Be sure to maintain hygiene, take a shower every day; for genital hygiene, you can use infusions of chamomile, string, and calendula herbs. Herbal infusions are especially useful for women who had ruptures during childbirth.

Put off until tomorrow everything you can't do today

Sometimes our actions, seemingly done with good intentions and read from smart books, can not only strengthen, but even lead to physical exhaustion and overstrain of the mother’s body. Especially if mommy strives to do everything she’s “supposed to do.”

First of all, we mean all kinds of rules for maintaining sterility. No one denies that a child needs cleanliness, but it is worth remembering that we are preparing the child for life in the real world, and not in a vacuum sterile world. Sometimes “good pediatricians” warn mothers: “Do not wash your baby’s clothes in a shared washing machine. There is no special one for babies - wash by hand. Boil, iron and sterilize all the baby’s things until six months.” Of course, if you forget about yourself, about the needs of your body, you can follow such advice, but it is wiser to remember that the child lives in a family, in the real world and learns to live peacefully with the numerous microbes and bacteria that live in our home. You shouldn’t complicate this process for your child and add headaches to yourself.

It is worth remembering that in the first month after childbirth, satisfying the physiological needs (sleep, food, toilet) of yourself and your child cannot be put off, but everything else can be put off. It is necessary and possible. As a last resort, you can always find an assistant.

Since her youth, Marina has become accustomed to the fact that only a bath with a book and silence for a couple of hours can help her regain the strength spent during the week. With the birth of my daughter, a bathtub remained only a dream. For three weeks after giving birth, Marina has been dreaming only about her, even sleep has become less attractive, irritability has been increasing. Well, don’t go to the bathtub with the cradle so that if your daughter wakes up, you’ll be nearby, and what a relaxation in the bathtub if there’s someone nearby who requires attention. A solution was found: Marina decided to invite a nanny for three hours once a week, and after feeding her daughter, she devoted that time to herself, to restoring her strength, and to her beloved, relaxing with a book. Marvelous. But after such a rest, it seemed that the strength was increasing, and I was ready to stay up at night, feed, walk and do everything that was necessary without fatigue and tears of fatigue.

Sleep is what the tired body of a woman who has recently given birth needs most. In this case, a full, restful sleep is necessary. You tell me where to get it when your whole life is subordinated to the feeding regime. If you look closely, even in the most routine day of a young mother there is time for sleep; it is important that she allows herself to lie down for 2-3 hours during the day and 5-6 hours at night, without waking up. In order for the second to become a reality, you need to allow yourself to sleep with your child. Believe me, even a very tired mother will not be able to harm the child sleeping next to her. But she will have more peace of mind: she doesn’t have to rush far in order to touch and thereby calm a child who is tossing and turning in his sleep; there is no need to wake up in order to feed him, he will find the breast himself and satisfy his hunger; At the same time, it is worth remembering that after 9 months the child has become accustomed to hearing the beating of his mother’s heart and this calms him down, allows him to relax, which means he can sleep better and longer.

Don't create unnecessary problems for yourself

Anticipate?.... Many feeding recommendations say “during the first days, you may have to wake him up so that feeding continues every two to three hours. Observe the peculiarities of his sleep: if he is barely dozing, his eyes constantly move under his eyelids, his lips make light smacking sounds, he often moves his arms and legs - maybe he is already hungry, he just doesn’t have the strength to wake up? Crying is the last signal of hunger and the most clear and persistent demand to feed a small creature.” I can’t agree with this, says family psychologist and breastfeeding support specialist Irina Vladimirovna Vshivkova: sleep is an important part of our life and it is in sleep, and not while eating, that we restore our strength spent on some difficult work. As a psychologist, I can say that small movements, smacking and moving can only mean that your baby is having a corresponding dream. Look at your husband, I think he too, you can sometimes notice the same movements, but you won’t wake HIM up at night to feed him. So give your child the opportunity to ask to eat when he wants. Remember that every person, including even small ones, has his own feeding rhythm, so you can try to catch it, it will be more useful than torturing yourself by watching a sleeping child, instead of resting while the child is resting.

And also about predicting the baby’s wishes: maybe this is good, but not always. It is worth remembering that after birth a child learns a lot, including managing his desires, giving signals about what he wants and generally presenting himself to this world and, first of all, demonstrating himself. If you always predict his desires, he will stop developing his own signals about desires. And then the time will come when you will complain with indignation that your child does not know how to talk about his desires, does not know whether he wants to eat or wants something else. And this is the smallest trouble that can await you.

Feed at night?!. Many mothers often ask how to make sure that the child does not wake up at night, when asked “what is this for?”, they most often answer that “they are tired of feeding at night, they want to sleep peacefully, and in general they say that the child can only get enough sleep if will sleep for at least 5 hours in a row, and preferably 8 hours at once.” At the same time, I note that this question is asked by mothers of children of different ages. The last one who asked it was still in the maternity hospital and was at least two weeks before giving birth. Often young mothers are frightened by the child waking up at night, they say that he will always want to sleep. That’s why mothers are looking (often almost from birth) for all sorts of ways to cancel night feedings. Although canceling night feedings does not mean that the baby will stop waking up at night.

By the way, reality may turn out to be completely scary, and the child will not wake up as often as feared, and the mother will be well-rested even if the child wakes her up more than once during the night. The whole point is how far or close the mother and child are from each other at night, how spatially and physically easy it is for the mother to feed the child at night, when she herself is sleepy and may not even be completely awake. The most convenient option is when the child is at arm's length from the mother: you can reach out with your sleepy hand and feel by touch what your child needs (touch, hug, feeding or banal - wet sleep further) or an even more convenient option when the child sleeps next to mother, then you can even feed her without waking up. With all of the above, in both of these options the child feels the closeness of the mother and sleeps more peacefully, waking up only when it cannot be avoided.

On the other hand, night feeding is the key to calm, problem-free daytime feeding. A mother and her child are a wonderful self-regulating system. While the baby begins to feel the need to nurse in the morning, his mother produces the maximum amount of prolactin (it ensures the production of the right amount of breast milk at the right time) from 3 to 8 am. Prolactin is always present in the female body in small quantities; its concentration in the blood increases significantly after the child begins to breastfeed; most of it is produced in the early morning hours from 3 to 8 am. Prolactin, which appears in the morning, produces milk during the day. It turns out that whoever sucks at night stimulates his mother’s prolactin and provides himself with a decent amount of milk during the day. And whoever fails to suckle at night can quickly be left without milk during the day. By the way, not a single mammal takes a night break from feeding its children. So, instead of the question of whether to feed or not to feed, it is better to ask the question - how to feed most comfortably. Comfortable feeding is the key to avoiding fatigue.

For yourself or for two...

Violation of two more important rules can increase the mother’s fatigue and interfere with the process of postpartum adaptation of the body.

1. Walk outside the house as often as possible. Mothers know that their child needs fresh air and that they need to take the baby out for a walk every day. A tired mother often does not want to make unnecessary movements, she dreams of peace and the very thought of getting ready for a walk, and if this is still in the cold season, it can even lead her to hysterics and an emotional breakdown. In fact, the baby can get the necessary portion of air on the balcony, but for the mother, a walk is vital. Ask why? The thing is that constantly being within “four” walls and the same environment is a powerful stimulant of emotional and sensory fatigue. Walks give mothers the opportunity to get a dose of new impressions, to please their eyes with the colors of nature and, finally, meeting mothers with strollers, to talk about their motherhood. All together will give an influx of new strength. This means it will reduce the risk of fatigue.

2. Nutrition for the mother can become another stressful factor. Very often, mothers are told that she must eat for two (after all, she feeds) and at the same time she is told to eat more of a certain list of “healthy” foods. It is rare to meet a mother for whom this list consists entirely of at least acceptable, not to mention desirable, products. The process of eating food in many families for a young mother turns into a real nightmare or just physical torment, and thoughts about her favorite product into an obsession. The thing is that consuming desirable foods increases the body’s ability to recuperate and promotes the production of endomorphins, which are responsible for our good mood, while consuming all the rest reduces it. In addition, it is important for the mother to DRINK a lot, and not EAT. The child will take all the substances and calories the child needs from those accumulated by the body during pregnancy, thereby helping to restore the figure (provided that the mother drinks enough fluids and takes the necessary vitamins in an easily digestible form). It is also worth remembering that our body is a very smart thing and if a mother wants to eat something, it means that she or her child needs it, while the body will not want something that is obviously harmful to one of them (we are not talking about mothers here who want to get rid of from their children). And meeting the mother's needs is the key to her endurance and good mood.

"Help" of the body

Very often, in situations where a young mother has not prepared for childbirth and parenthood, after returning from the maternity hospital she finds herself in a situation that is fully reflected by the words: I don’t know what to do? Confusion, uncertainty, conflicting advice from those around her, the mother’s desire to do everything well can lead first to fatigue and sudden overwork, and then to stupor: I can’t do well, but I don’t want to do bad!

The emotional state of such a mother is very unstable, mood swings and bursts of strength and fatigue constantly replace each other. If at the same time the desire to be a good mother is still strong, then all together this can lead to the fact that the BODY wants to help the mother. Yes, her body itself, without asking whether the woman agrees with his choice of solution.

Anna returned from the maternity hospital happy and with the hope that now all the hardest things are behind her. However, after a while, conditions arose more and more often when Anna did not know what to do, everything turned out wrong: it was difficult to feed, it was impossible to put her to sleep at all, she couldn’t bathe on time, her husband wanted something at night, her grandmothers vying with each other to advise why start the morning, and then the housekeeper began to tell me how to properly put on the baby’s diapers. My head began to hurt more and more often; closer to night, when my husband came into the bedroom, my lower abdomen began to hurt, and even several times some unplanned discharge began. Every day the body made itself known more and more often with painful symptoms. But when everything hurt, Anna could lie quietly alone in the bedroom and even the child less often needed the attention of her mother. It all ended in the emergency gynecology department, where doctors were forced to perform a cleaning due to strange formations and discharge. After the separation, during a conversation with our psychotherapist, Anna admitted that most of all during that period she wanted to become weak, so that everyone would take care of her and so that all the problems of caring for a child would be solved somehow on their own.

It doesn’t happen that everything is solved on its own. Our body just feels that when it gets sick, the owner of the body feels surprisingly better and more comfortable. And then the body decides, since for some reason the owner feels better when I’m sick, I’ll be sick. This is how the body decides to help us get rid of our problems, i.e. If you're tired, rest while you're sick. It is important to remember that if cases of any painful conditions of the mother become more frequent, it is necessary to consult with two specialists: a physician specialized in the problem and a family psychologist. During this time, the discovered fears and experiences of a young mother will help to quickly cope with a difficult period and enjoy motherhood without unnecessary fatigue.

I thought that everything would be wrong

While expecting a child, the mother draws herself pictures of future motherhood: what the child will be like, how the birth will go, what kind of mother she will be, what her relatives will do when she and the baby return home. However, life does not always coincide with reality. The more mismatches there are, the greater the chances of a state of dissatisfaction, uncertainty, and, as a result, increased fatigue.

Usually, those mothers who are preparing for childbirth and parenthood in courses have the opportunity to adjust their expectations in time to bring them closer to realistically possible ones, and can learn to cope with the difficulties that arise without unnecessary stress and overwork.

Sometimes the birth does not go exactly as the woman expected (the husband was not present, although we prepared together, she wanted to give birth vertically, but it turned out due to circumstances - like everyone else, etc.). Moreover, if a pregnant woman was psychologically unprepared for the turn of events, a feeling of dissatisfaction with herself may arise. If the mother and baby are not together in the maternity hospital, there may be anxiety and fear for the child, how he sleeps, how he feels, who and what is wrong with him. And of course, the meaning of pregnancy and the child itself for a woman. If a woman is not ready for motherhood, does not imagine herself as a mother, and the child is just proof of her independence, importance or something else to those around her and to herself, then without outwardly admitting it, a woman after childbirth may experience irritability, fatigue, and guilt. At the same time, there is simply no one to talk to, because everyone expects exactly the opposite feelings, and negative emotions accumulate, disturbing both mother and child. Being in such a depressed state, the mother becomes unpleasant to herself and begins to notice that this has a bad effect on the child. Depression becomes an obstacle between you and your baby, disrupting contact and mutual understanding.

Oksana was waiting for the baby in a wonderful mood, everything was going perfectly, and she imagined how her labor would begin, the doctor would come and accept the beautiful pink baby, how she would put her breasts on him and he would immediately begin to suckle. She imagined that she would look at her baby with a smile while he satisfies his hunger, and then put him in a beautiful crib and discuss the past day next to her husband. I imagined how both grandmothers would dream of babysitting the child while his mother was resting... From the first matchmaking, everything started wrong. It turned out that giving birth was more painful than she had imagined, and the doctor divided his attention between her and two other women, and the baby turned out to be not pink at all, but somehow blue, and he was able to immediately take the breast, the doctor explained that the nipple was very uncomfortable. Oksana cried more and more often: why didn’t anyone tell her about this before, why is her husband at work all the time, and after work he wants to sleep, her mother-in-law goes to theaters and her friends, answering - this is your child, when she grows up, I’ll be with her take with you to the theaters. Breastfeeding turned into a complete torment: at first the child did not want to take the breast, and then for hours he could not tear himself away from it. When she started feeding, Oksana dreamed of putting her baby to bed, but he didn’t want to lie there either. Tears during the day, tears at night and all alone, alone... In reality, Oksana’s relatives provided a lot of help, but it was not the help that she imagined and therefore, it was psychologically difficult for her to accept it.

Therefore, when dreaming about motherhood and parenthood, it is very important to learn as much as possible about how it really happens, about how best to resolve everyday and psychological difficulties in the first months after childbirth. It is very important to plan time correctly - this will allow the mother to take care of her child, her husband and herself. She must believe in her own strength: any mother, in the end, copes with her own child, especially since civilization currently provides her with ready-made clothes for the child, a refrigerator for household needs, a washing machine, various dairy preparations, a juicer, which free up more time. And you need to use all this.

Learning to live in a new way

In the first days after returning to the family, mother and child need peace; All kinds of visits, even with good intentions, are not recommended for 4-5 days. Mother and child are not yet accustomed to the new daily schedule, which is different from the one they had in the maternity hospital. The mother now has new responsibilities, she is insecure and very sensitive to all kinds of criticism, which deeply upsets her. If she is bothered by constant visits on the first day of her arrival to the family, it is not surprising that the new family member begins to spit up food, cries and needs continuous diaper changes. Most young parents are not confident in their abilities; Like all newbies, they are afraid of appearing incompetent and often get angry when any criticism is directed at them.

The first month after the birth of a child can be considered the most difficult in a mother’s life. In addition to the foster nurse and the child's father, someone else's help is needed; Fatigue and overload in the postpartum period cause bad consequences for the condition of the child and his mother. Young parents should know that grandmothers, thanks to their love for children, will care for their child better than the most conscientious nurse. Many grandmothers remember their own mistakes, inexperience, and do not interfere; others feel superior, are aware of their experience, have well-formed principles, adore their grandchildren, and cannot resist expressing and even imposing their opinions. A pediatrician and a visiting nurse help parents settle their relationships with grandmothers, subjecting them to careful analysis of their differing points of view. Any disagreement should be discussed openly, without any unpleasant comments or judgmental silence. Your doctor or health visitor can act as a referee for you in these cases if there are discrepancies in care.

Fatigue in the second half of the year

In the second half of the year, continued fatigue, low mood of the mother, irritability and changes in emotional states indicate the development of a depressive state and chronic fatigue of the body.

If the child is healthy

In situations where the child was born healthy, this condition can occur due to three reasons:

1. A woman defines herself this way: “I don’t know or know how to do anything, but more and more is required of me,” while she either has no one to ask or she doesn’t find the strength and opportunity to ask for help and advice.

2. The daily routine and requirements for oneself were chosen so high that it is difficult for several people to cope with them, and not just for one mother.

3. It’s trite, but life in a closed space always leads to depression and increased fatigue sooner or later.

Despite the fact that the reasons may be different, the way out is always the same: take care of yourself, remember your own needs and joys, give up unnecessary routine and hygienic aspects, and finally, just go out into society. Even if it is a parent-child society, the effect will still be significant and noticeable.

Alexandra recently became a mother. The baby was already 7 months old, and the young mother was still experiencing headaches, fatigue, mild malaise and frequent mood swings - all that can usually accompany the first months after childbirth. The family doctor announced that everything was fine. They say, this is how it should be, a consequence of childbirth, sleepless nights, and constant stress. There is only one recipe - rest. But how can you relax when a child requires daily care and attention? Grandma came to the rescue. She began taking the baby to her dacha on weekends, and her husband gave his wife a subscription to the Young Mothers’ Club. Fitness, classes with a psychologist and joint tea parties, where you could talk it out and get support, and after the meeting, go shopping together and at least look at the updates, and sometimes buy yourself a nice little thing. All this together brought back the joy of life to Alexandra; in the morning she wanted her daughter to wake up faster and she could finally do something with her, try out new games that she learned at the club, do exercises with her daughter (her daughter will also do weights for exercise with the load and the viewer, which is also important).

If the child is not completely healthy

In situations where, for some reason, the child was not born completely healthy, the mother’s worries and worries noticeably increase. It is important to organize your daily routine on time and correctly, and distribute the help of family and friends. If the child’s illness is serious enough or requires special rules of care and education, then most likely there are organized parent mutual support groups and early intervention centers somewhere nearby. The latter specifically work with parents and children throughout the first year of life. Sometimes a visit to such a center can completely change the pessimistic forecasts of the harsh doctors from the maternity hospital, and the fact that there the mother will be taught to properly distribute attention, without forgetting about herself, that’s for sure.

What to do if fatigue develops into depression?

We all know that it is much easier to prevent than to treat. Of course, no one can cancel hormonal changes in your body, but you can try to solve your psychological problems. Moreover, the sooner you do this, the better it will be for both you and your child. In advance, preferably even before pregnancy, during its planning, determine what the baby will change in your life, why you need a child, prepare for childbirth and meeting the baby - this will be the prevention of postpartum depression. What if, for some reason, depression does arise? Of course, each case is deeply individual, but there are still some general rules that should be followed.

1. Accept this state as already existing. Of course, there is nothing good or pleasant in it, but everything that we experience is reality, which has its own reasons, course and ending; do not perceive this state as your fault.

2. Be sure to ask for help. Don’t keep all your experiences to yourself, share with your loved ones, family, friends, and those people who can provide support. If you don’t find such a person among your loved ones, contact a psychologist or psychotherapist, he will help you cope not only with depression, but also find out the cause of its occurrence, improve relationships in the family and with the baby. There is always a club for young parents somewhere nearby; usually you can come there with or without a child. Moreover, many come with children, starting from the age of one month: why deprive yourself of the joy of communication and mutual support.

3. Rest more, walk, sleep, do not refuse any help. Don’t forget about proper nutrition, even if you have a poor appetite, because your physical health now greatly affects your emotional well-being. The basis of good nutrition includes not only healthy and varied foods, but also compliance with the regime. If we eat improperly, we gain extra pounds and suffer from constant fatigue. You can also prepare yourself infusions of soothing herbs, especially for sleep disorders (valerian root, motherwort herb, etc.). Go visit, give yourself a gift, tell yourself something good. It is raising the general physical and emotional tone that will help the mother herself and cope with depression as quickly as possible.

4. You can help yourself using simple relaxation techniques: choose the time when your baby sleeps most soundly and for the longest time, take a comfortable position, turn on quiet, pleasant music or sounds of nature. Close your eyes and say a few phrases of general relaxation, then imagine yourself under the streams of a waterfall and say, “I am standing under the streams of a waterfall. They wash me and relieve fatigue, tension, irritation. I feel myself becoming strong and calm.” Imagine your body as water washes it, washing away tension from your face, arms, legs. Breathe evenly and deeply. “Breathing in, I take the best out of the air. With every breath, my body is filled with peace, strength and freedom.” Give yourself time, enjoy the images. You can imagine yourself at sea, on the river bank. In general, all “water” images give strength, filling you with the energy of freshness and freedom. After some time, mentally say “My body is rested. The heaviness leaves the body. I am full of energy, strength and calm.” Take a deep breath, stretch and open your eyes. Try to do these exercises more often and you will feel much better.

5. And also, now, when you need time for yourself, to restore your own strength, let those who love him, who are ready to give him warmth, be with your child more often. All the same, for the baby you are the most beloved, the best mother in the world, even if for some time someone will love him a little more.

Pechnikova E.Yu. obstetrician-gynecologist, director of the “Family+” center
Blokh M.E. postpartum recovery specialist, head of the “I am growing” club