What to do if you don't feel at home. Home is a place of power for a woman. Or why don't you have a home? Disadvantages of owning your own home
At one time I got the hang of making a pedigree chart for the family (the whole family got involved), so now I share my skills (or rather, I do it myself, “sharing”), Lyubov Mikhailovna asking for nothing, for interest, for the sake of being in demand. And also research papers with children up to top level I learned how to “lick” (it seems like the word doesn’t look particularly aesthetically pleasing, but in essence it’s the same thing). Now I do not refuse teachers help in this work with their students. For those, of course, who do not consider it beneath their dignity to say “help!”... This requires a lot of time, but diving headlong into the topic brings joy when the result is obvious. Well, the gratitude of those who applied also raises their status in their own eyes... I can!
We worked a lot in various archives. Here in the Archive Department of the municipal formation Oktyabrsky district of the Orenburg region, near the shelves with documents with which work will begin this time...
And this is a “family archive”
I don’t remember exactly two or three years ago, this is what our hall looked like all summer. No one was allowed a single piece of paper, much less move the album...
The family tree was being prepared...
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It all turned into folders with files containing materials (photos, archival documents, inquiries, etc.)
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A pedigree book has been created. Here's a view of the cover
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And this is a person’s page (my person, in particular)
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In addition, several books have been published on various topics, articles have been published in newspapers
This is about the participants of the Great Patriotic War
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Both (grandson and granddaughter) took part in drawing up the genealogical chart. Numerous archival materials were used.
Now there are 1413 people...
They printed out the whole thing, and specifically for protection, only direct relatives specifically for the author of the work:
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The grandson also wrote a book about ours in the military history of Moscow
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A page with sources of research on the history of the Patriotic War of 1812 about the participation of the peasants of the landowner Timashev (my relatives are his serfs) in the partisan movement of the Smolensk province.
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Great-great-great-great-grandfather - participant in the defense of Moscow (husband's uncle)
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The work was interesting for the young researchers, various sources: films, museum exhibits, original documents from the family archive, Internet resources, a trip to the site of the Timashevs’ estate in Tashla, a neighboring district - all this literally encouraged the children to quickly record everything. Then they made a layout of the book, selected the material, and adjusted it according to the pages. And = the main thing, because you need to select the main thing; you can’t fit everything into a book...
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And this year they visited Smolensk with their mother, the fate of the defenders from our family of both the Patriotic War of 1812 and the Great Patriotic War is connected with it. Of course, and Eternal Flame in the capital they also lay flowers at memorial stones with the names of cities. Moscow. Smolensk Leningrad, Nalchik - now this is part of their biography...
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Well, here’s the remedy I’ve found for depression. Restore the history of your family as part of the history of Russia. It definitely won't do it for me. My personal demand is required. At the same time, we have objective communication with our descendants, and together with them we communicate with our ancestors.
ABOUT! I remembered! But long before all this, my daughter was in Paris on an internship! And of course, I visited memorable places associated with our victory over Napoleon...
This means that French, which almost the whole family considered unnecessary (and we didn’t speak English at all at her age), came in very handy! How everything in our lives is connected, and things that we didn’t even suspect will be connected. That's how I suddenly found myself in Paris from my ProSchool page...
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Here is a diploma of advanced training in the French Republic in Paris.
The descendants of the Russian partisans who fought Napoleon reached Paris! For peaceful purposes. May there always be peace...
LENYA THUNDER
Pavel KovalevX. Not at home
Lenka has been living with her relatives for three weeks. Besides him, there are three more in this house: Uncle Vasily himself, his wife Paraska and their son Boris.
During these days Lenka has changed a lot. Especially externally. Its former beauty is especially striking in appearance. Aunt Paraska threw away his previous picturesque uniform. They dressed him in everything new.
Now Lenka looked like a completely ordinary boy. Unless he was more silent and thoughtful than others.
True, being left alone with Aunt Paraska, Lenka perked up a little. He even willingly began to help with housework.
Silence took possession of him as soon as Vasily Lukyanovich appeared, distinguished by his restless disposition and constant concern, fear of being late somewhere, of not finishing something. And what Lenka didn’t like most was his constantly dissatisfied tone, no matter who he spoke to: his aunt, Boris or Lenka. It cannot be said that Lenka was afraid of Uncle Vasily, but in any case he tried, as far as possible, not to catch his eye.
At the insistent requests of his father and the petition of the police, Lenka was again admitted to the school where he had studied before. At school, the guys told him about the clash that occurred between Vova Bokutya and his relative, Lenka. Even he did not expect this from Vasily Lukyanovich.
It sometimes happened that Lenya, returning from school, no longer found Boris at home. He studied in the second shift. Therefore, in the evening they wanted to chat and play, of course. But sometimes they would come together, as Vasily Lukyanovich was right there with his notations:
- Loafers! C students!
The guys are sitting, not breathing.
“And Bori has two A’s,” Aunt Paraska can’t stand it.
Then Vasily Lukyanovich becomes completely furious. He opens his eyes, hits the table with his fist - fuck!
- Tsk to me! I know it myself... Don’t indulge me... I also found a protector!
Aunt Paraska turns to the stove and begins to fidget there silently. But as soon as the guys come out, she’s back to her ways:
- You don’t know how to deal with children, Vasya. You don't have any kindness for them...
He will listen, listen as long as he can, then slam the door and leave the house.
His father, wherever Lenka met him, in the cinema or on the street, kept trying to persuade his son to be patient and not to contradict his uncle in anything. And Lenka endured it. And Aunt Paraska often consoled him, seizing a moment when the owner was not at home:
- Don’t pay attention, Lenechka. It’s his temper that’s so hot, he loves to scream. And he’s okay, he’s kind...
And most importantly, she sometimes said openly:
- We all get it equally...
And in fact, everyone got it equally. So today Vasily Lukyanovich, for no apparent reason, attacked Lenka:
- Are you going to catch up with the class or not?
Lenka hung his head, but Vasily Lukyanovich grabbed him by the chin and stared straight into his eyes:
- Do you think they don’t blame me for hosting such a thing in my house?
Boris tugged Lenka by the sleeve: let's run away from the table, and then we'll hide somewhere from this parting.
But Vasily Lukyanovich tsked at him too:
- Sit still when I speak!
And again to Lenka:
- You'll fly out of school if you study like this!
The ringing interrupted his eloquence. Aunt Paraska went to open it.
HOME IS A GREAT RESPONSIBILITY AND AN ADULT INDEPENDENT LIFE!
And for a woman, this is also her place of power! Therefore, everything in your home should please you, everything should be yours energetically!
And if you don’t have your own home today, you need to create your own space, a prototype of “YOUR OWN HOME”, buy things that you will take into your home! And don’t live like this: when I have a house, I’ll buy it, but for now on old sofas and shabby stools, with old wallpaper :))
To be completely honest, in a rented apartment you will never feel like at home. There is no opportunity to take root, at any moment you can be asked, you will need to scoop up your world into bags and transport it to a new place, settle down again, settle down and be disappointed again.
Why is rented housing scary? We give nothing to this house, and the house gives us nothing. We have places of power!
We need to finish this internally. What makes you wander and be restless? What's the worst thing that will happen when you own your own home?
And this question is for unmarried women: Why did you end up in rented housing, why didn’t you get married, but moved out? rented apartment? After all, this also did not happen by chance?
These questions allow you to think, to realize the very important, deep and root motives that underlie your entire life!
These are the disadvantages of owning own home we found together with the participant (she now lives with her husband in her mother-in-law’s house):
- The house must be maintained;
- Now parents bear part of the expenses, but they will have to do it themselves;
- We will both finally break away from our parents;
- There is always a lot to do in your own home;
- It will not be possible to leave the child and go on business;
- Feeling of loneliness;
- This is your responsibility, which lies solely with you;
- You can’t leave your house, even if you have a huge fight.
A house (apartment) is something solid and complete! It's your choice, including who you live with! And we are afraid of this thoroughness and completeness, which is why we wander for 40 years in other people’s houses, because the choice has not been made!
Adviсe:
Our home is our reflection. And if we want to change something in the house, then the changes need to start in our own soul.
A home is a place of power, it is treated with respect and reverence, so be afraid to desecrate your home with scandals, swearing and swearing, because all this negativity settles on the walls and sucks the strength out of you for a long time. And the house should give strength.
Let your home be a full cup, start with food. It should always be prepared consciously and attract prosperity and family happiness.
Invite guests and be ready to receive unexpected guests! Let there be order and comfort! Order is not when everything is washed and cleaned, but when you feel that there is a mistress in the house, there is her way of life, her order, her rules!
Every day in your home can be joyful and fulfilling, bringing satisfaction, and not lived hastily and on the fly.
Start meeting and seeing off your household members. Meet your husband and children without barking out of the room, but on the threshold, without bombarding them with questions, but simply show that you are glad to meet you, that you have been waiting! First, feed, drink, put to bed, and only then ask questions!
It’s bad when a woman is met by her husband! Something has gone wrong in your life!
Think about how you can please, surprise, give a feeling of comfort and coziness to all family members and guests as well?
In the Caucasus there is a saying: A guest in the house means God in the house! By inviting guests, you invite prosperity into your home; by giving, you receive! Don’t skimp on this, don’t be stingy with kind gestures, with your energy, with your attention.
I have already written more than once about beautiful tea pairs, buy a fruit bowl, a table service and start using it, as well as gravy boats and a tureen.
After all, in order to do all this, you will have to improve relationships in the family, become kind, attentive, hospitable, generous, and smart! That's where your personal growth. In the house. And not outside of it.
It is at home that a space of love and understanding is created between a man and a woman! If there is no this space, there is no future for the relationship!
Remove, throw away everything that seems alien, unnecessary and ugly! Everything should please you, everything should be yours.
We must learn to create our own daily life in your own home. Create your own world! What kind of world do you want to create?
And if you don’t have a home, then you should have experience in creating your own world!
Live well today, don’t put off life for later! And you will have this happy experience. Without him and in new apartment you will feel unsatisfied.
And happiness will attract the necessary funds to your own meters or additional ones.
When you begin to cultivate a sense of home within yourself, everything will begin to change—your thoughts, your actions, and most importantly, your life!
Try it, you will like it! And I'm waiting for an invitation to visit :))
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Tatyana Dzutseva
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Everything is fine at the social service center, but still the former miner is missing something...
"Toughie"
For those who have lost their home or can no longer stay there due to quarrels with relatives, inability to take care of themselves, or lack of necessary household amenities, the state provides a “shoulder” in the form of social service centers and boarding schools.
Anatoly Timofeevich is a “revolutionary man.”
In Gukovo, such a center provides shelter for more than fifty people, each of whom has different levels education, character and habits. So that they all somehow coexist peacefully, a living arrangement has been developed.
“Indeed, all sorts of people live with us.” There are also those who are accustomed to spitting on the floor at home, procrastinating, and drinking alcohol. So we have to re-educate them. And, you know, until recently I managed to cope with the most difficult situations! - says the head of the social rehabilitation department No. 1 of the center, Tatyana Aleksandrovna Rudnichenko, who has been working here since the opening day, that is, 11 years.
But a year ago, such a “tough nut” settled in the department that even she was “too tough” for now. The incident is that initially Tatyana Alexandrovna, one might say, herself blessed him to live in the center.
“I ended up in the hospital, and Anatoly Timofeevich was also being treated there,” recalls Tatyana Aleksandrovna. “It turns out that this man with a unique character was already known on all floors. Since after discharge he had nowhere to go - the house was declared unfit for living, one of the medical staff suggested: “Go to the head of the department of the social service center and ask for a place!” In general, I’m lying in the ward on a drip with eyes closed, I open them, and by the bed - Anatoly Timofeevich: “Take me with you!” A rare case, but just at that moment we had a free place in the center. Why not take a person? When he was discharged, it seemed like the entire hospital waved after him. Even then I thought, wow, how famous! When they told me that it wouldn’t be easy with him, I waved it off: “I can handle it!”
78-year-old Anatoly Timofeevich Shastitko now keeps the entire staff of the center in good shape. Unlike other residents, he strives to make his life here as similar as possible to home: he demands only white bread instead of gray bread in the dining room, and prevents the room from being ventilated through air at the same time. open window and the door, turns on the light at night to read a book, brushes aside lectures on fire safety: “Why are you scaring people?”, ignores “quiet hour” and generally says “no” to most house rules.
The “revolutionary man” is always in search of truth and supreme justice. It seems that his last name is already known in all authorities and deputies.
“I write not complaints, but requests!” - Anatoly Timofeevich clarifies.
He really doesn't look like a boring complainer or an inveterate pessimist. This mischievous, good-natured devil in his eyes is very captivating. If you also take into account that the zodiac sign is Leo, everything generally falls into place. Such people are not created to remain in the shadows, and always strive to transform the world, even on the verge of the impossible.
For example, some time ago he tried to distribute a certain scientific work among residents - the “Program for Breaking the Deadlock” with rational proposals on how to stop inflation, resolve the problem of property and economic contradictions between the state and social production. Very quickly, this mission of his was stopped by the leadership of the center: “You believe in some ideas - please, but there is no need to bother others here with them!”
Now Anatoly Timofeevich is busy with new things important matter– for several days now he has been writing a review of the Our Time publication about local self-government. The incomplete version has so far turned out to be about six pages in small handwriting.
– Since my handwriting is not always legible, I went to the reception center and asked to type the text on the computer to make it easier for journalists to read, but there it simply disappeared without a trace. “I had to write everything again,” says Anatoly Timofeevich, sitting on the bed in a triple room. I’m sitting on the chair on the right, and the deputy director of the center, Lyudmila Petrovna Marchenko, is on the left.
“I will be present at your conversation! Because I have to tell the director what you were talking about!” - Lyudmila Petrovna declares in a tone that does not tolerate objections.
But Anatoly Timofeevich, naturally, objects. On this I completely agree with him.
“Let us talk humanly, one on one!” – the former miner does not give up.
“You are not at home, Anatoly Timofeevich, but in a state social institution!” – reminds Lyudmila Petrovna.
So what is he missing?
On Anatoly Timofeevich’s bed there are books, folders with papers, a chessboard. He doesn’t really seem to know where to put it. Because there is real chic in the department’s corridors and common areas – in the rest room, in the library: cushioned furniture, carpets, TVs, vases with flowers, paintings, and the living rooms are dominated by minimalism, very reminiscent of a hospital ward: bare walls, the same bare floor, furniture - only three beds, three bedside tables and a shabby wardrobe.
Since there was no table in the room, Anatoly Timofeevich first laid out his property on the windowsill, but he was ordered to remove everything from there.
– I’ll try to compact some of the things in the nightstand and put books in there! – Anatoly Timofeevich argues.
On this very bedside table is his main value - a small receiver wrapped in electrical tape, purchased at a reasonable price from former neighbor around the room. But operating the receiver is also a big problem. Because there is only one socket in the room and it is located on the opposite wall, right above the other person’s bed. Naturally, the wire does not reach there. Anatoly Timofeevich assembled an extension cord from improvised means, but it was quickly removed to avoid a fire or any of the residents falling through it.
The main idea that now drives Anatoly Timofeevich is to ensure that “employees are sensitive.”
Employees, of course, do not agree with their lack of this important quality for a social worker.
“We bring jam here from home, create coziness, and call you by affectionate names!” – Tatyana Aleksandrovna sincerely does not understand the claims.
“The bed here is clean, and the food is good, and they are cleaned, but there is a lack of sensitivity!” - Anatoly Timofeevich does not calm down.
Meanwhile, when he was offered to move into a dorm room or into a boarding house after December 29, he flatly refused.
The relocation of a “tough nut” does not seem to contradict the law. After all, if you remember, the departments at social centers In small towns, regions were created en masse in those years when there was a catastrophic shortage of boarding houses.
It was assumed that the elderly and disabled would be able to temporarily live here for up to 6 months until their problem was somehow solved - relatives would take them, their health would improve, or a place would become available in a boarding house.
But problems, including the progress of the queue, were resolved more slowly than planned, so many live in the center much longer than six months - 3, 6 and even, like Anatoly Timofeevich’s roommate, 9 years.
Recently an order came from “from above”: to begin returning the centers to their original design. Moreover, we have practically managed to cope with the huge queue in boarding houses.
“The other day we already took two of our long-time residents to a boarding house in another city. We are very worried about how they will settle there! - says Tatyana Alexandrovna.
Anatoly Timofeevich does not intend to accept the resettlement resignedly and declares his usual “no”.
“I’m not going anywhere from here! I'm waiting for my turn to resettle citizens from dilapidated housing! My number is 30!” – shows a confirmation document from the city administration. “If they evict you by force, I will sit here and not get up!”
In fact, isolated cases of forced eviction from a residential building by court decision are known, but to social institution- I don’t remember...
How will this difficult situation be resolved? Time will show…