Is it possible to improve your character? How to change your character? People think I'm bad
Negative character traits are found in everyone, but they are expressed to a greater or lesser extent. Laziness, pride, doubts, deceit, greed, and fears can really ruin your life if you don’t learn to cope with them. Even one quality can be enough to make a person unbearable to be around, and if there is a complete set, then this greatly affects the circle of friends.
How to change character
It is impossible to force a person to change if he does not want to. Only in childhood can parents or relatives influence a person, then only he himself can decide to become different. To transform, you need to understand what is negative in your character and what needs to be corrected. To do this, contact your loved ones and ask what they don’t like. And don’t shout at them, don’t be offended, but listen. People around you always know better, and if they love you, they won’t lie. With their help, create a list of negative traits and look at it carefully.
You can only fix what you agree with. Analyze each quality, think about the situations when it was present, find out what was the cause and effect. Observation, awareness is a huge step towards a new character. And only after analysis should you begin to react differently. Changing your behavior right away can be difficult, but over time it will start to get better. Every time, just think about what to say, what to do, do not act out of habit, but go beyond the previous framework.
Mistakes in Behavior Change
People sometimes discover laziness in themselves, realize it and decide to get rid of it. This is the wrong position. If something is forcibly removed, if something is ignored, it will appear again and again. You don't need to fight yourself, but simply choose a different direction. For example, activity is the opposite of laziness. Correct wording the changes will sound like this: increase your activity, begin to realize yourself with more enthusiasm. This creates a vector of development and helps improve your achievements.
The opposite of touchiness is the ability to forgive, the other side of greed is generosity, removing touchiness, strive for forgiveness. Every negative quality has its opposite; it is this that allows you to change and move forward. Write down your negative traits in a column, find positive ones for them and record them on paper. And every day try to become better, work on yourself, watch your behavior and speech. Just a few months of training will make you a much better person.
Special trainings can help in changing consciousness. Today, many classes are conducted on the Internet, some are dedicated to liberation from negative experiences, reducing aggression, and increasing productivity. All of them can help in transformation. But it is important to understand that listening is very useful, but you also need to do exercises that will make the training effective.
For example, because he has his own point of view. And if this person sees that pressure is being put on him, and not a request, he begins to rebel.
If you have seen such a person, you can imagine that it is difficult for him to re-educate himself. And all third-party attempts to remake it do not bring any success.
Teamwork ===
Work is a special place where the final result of the work depends on the activities of the entire team. This is especially evident in business. When everyone receives something, they then do something with it and pass it on to another worker.
It's like being on an assembly line. Let's say this is a factory. And you already work in the sales department finished products. It depends on you whether what the plant produces will be sold, whether the plant workers (turners, security guards, storekeepers, drivers, technicians, ...) will receive the salary they expected on time.
External manifestations“absence” of an employee at his post ===
It happens that some employee falls out of the general rhythm of the team. Take a look around. Take a close look at those in your group who keep to themselves. He doesn't show initiative. There is no interest in his eyes. He speaks in a monotone only when asked to say something. At the workplace, he is often distracted from performing his duties.
Even if this person could do a lot, even when he really needs money, he will not be able to force himself to turn on at full capacity.
You can expect anything from such a person, even that he will give up everything and leave his workplace. It doesn’t matter whether he works as a lathe operator, a security guard, or even a shop manager. Fortunately, legislation allows an employee to drop everything and leave during the working day. He will not bear any financial, much less criminal, liability. Except for some professions, such as doctor or firefighter.
How the world of submission works
Let's assume this happened to you. It's you who have no interest in work. When your well-being depends only on you. Because even if you force yourself to go to this job, the time will come when you will be replaced by another worker.
And this will not happen because your boss changes, or he starts treating you worse. You continue to go to work. Just every year the demands to productivity the workplace is becoming stricter. Productivity is the amount of product produced at your workplace. For a turner, this is the number of Parts delivered to the warehouse. For a sales department employee - the number of received and paid Applications from customers. The employee is required to perform more and more completed and fully completed actions at his workplace.
And this implies an increase in labor productivity. A good example accounting work. Where 20 years ago there were up to 10 accountants, today only one or two can handle it! Where there were 20 sales department employees, only 2-3 remained.
What should you do?
If you are not happy in this workplace. You don’t like the very idea of getting up in the morning and going to this hard labor... Change your boss, or become the boss yourself. Why spoil the nerves of both yourself and people? It's not the boss's fault that you have such a character.
But, you will have to teach yourself how to communicate with your subordinates. You may need to undergo training on “resolving communication problems.”
In any case, there are no hopeless situations. The people who inhabited the Earth before us have already gone through all this and left us the rules of normal communication.
Almost any situation can be resolved if you have a successful coach.
Is it possible to become a coach for yourself?
We know many cases where a person performed operations on his own body. They like to show this in action-packed films. Although today, even a local therapist is prohibited from suturing small wounds. He must call an ambulance and apply a bandage.
Of course, training specialists will tell you that you cannot get yourself into a working state on your own; you need a specialist in psychotraining.
However, if you really want to, although you can’t, then you can do it. Here are a few tips - how?
1. The same books can be read in different ways. You can run your eyes through the entire book and say, okay, I understood everything. Or feel that nothing is clear and discard this book.
2. The next thing is to observe the work successful people, results in which you would like to achieve yourself. For example, you saw how quickly a manager approves his subordinates’ work plan for the week. It’s not a sin to ask what allows you to quickly sign a work plan.
3. All successful, enthusiastic people like to count and write down results. If a person is very turned on or offended by this, he will keep a record. The athlete has a diary of achievements. A person with increased blood pressure regularly measures and records pressure readings. Create your own system for recording income receipts by day and week. Force yourself or your accountant to do this without fail.
Conclusions and decision-making on accounting data
If you see that, according to your credentials, your interlocutors have spent more time listening to you carefully, for example, the average amount of time watching your videos has increased from 3 minutes to 5, then you are going in the right direction.
If your income has fallen, quickly identify the source of the drop in income. Don't listen to those who talk about the crisis in the economy.
The crisis is so that bad workers go bankrupt, and good ones are taken away from bad customers and the number of clients and paid orders is increased.
Several years ago, I don’t remember on what occasion, one of my acquaintances said that soloists were leaving Evgeniy Khavtan because he had a difficult character. I have never been a fan of the Bravo group, much less Evgeniy Khavtan, but these words stuck in my head. I couldn’t evaluate them then, and how can I do that? And recently I accidentally saw part of a TV show about him and remembered about his “ bad character" It didn’t take long for reflections on this topic to occur.For some time now I have been attracted to people who, in the opinion of others, have a bad character. This is probably because I often hear such statements addressed to me.
You have a bad character, my friend tells me, you often make mistakes. But this did not stop her from working in my company and persuading me to open a joint business with her. Strange?
You have a bad character, my daughter tells me, and at the same time she never ceases to be amazed at my great patience.
You have a bad character, my parents told me, and at the same time they always trusted me in everything. And according to them, they were never ashamed or scared for me.
Well, let's return to the TV show, it was the most ordinary, its hero talked about the history of the Bravo group, or, one might say, about the business that he created.
In short, it all started when he met Zhanna Aguzarova, wrote songs, assembled a team, and success was not long in coming. She was a bright soloist and her departure, which over the years he was able to overestimate, then became a downfall for him. They promoted her, she was the face of the group, and with her departure everything ended in one moment. Evgeniy Khavtan recovered from this state for a whole year.
As a consultant, I can note that, in fact, an initially incorrectly constructed business model could have destroyed it forever, of course, if the creator of the group had not had a “bad character.”
Then this would happen to him more than once, and apparently all because of his bad character. I will not go into details, I am not a historian of this group, but just a person who likes to realize, and for me this is just one example, attitudes towards people with a bad or perhaps strong character. To be fair, I note that none of the former soloists of the Bravo group achieved greater success than in collaboration with Evgeniy Khavtan.
If a person has the audacity to want something, and even does something, then those around him will certainly rush to devalue everything with the help of a banal assessment of his personality, saying that he has a bad character.
Why? Could this be a desire to make society more homogeneous?
Do you often hear this phrase addressed to you? Do people tell you that it is impossible to communicate with you? Sometimes we don’t even think about what tone we communicate, what gestures, and emotions we experience when communicating. Such phrases can offend us, and even the smallest remarks can sting deep in the heart. And, it seems, the person himself understands that sometimes he answers aggressively, or does not try to show interest in the interlocutor. Thus, making it clear that no one wants to communicate with the hollow. I have a friend who wants to be kind to people, affectionate in the family, but for some reason, well, it doesn’t work out for her. She wants to change her character. In general, guys, we are not worried. Now I’ll tell you my life hacks!
Don't worry, everything will be fine!
Yes, the task is not simple. It’s not easy to change the character of a girl, especially an adult! Since a person’s personal qualities are formed from an early age, one might say from the cradle! Or they are acquired, we absorb everything from our parents like sponges. Character can be changed if you step over yourself. Have each of us mentioned temperament at least once in our lives? Yes it does direct meaning to our character. Why are some, for example, calm, and others more emotional? This is our temperament, we were born with it and you can’t take it anywhere! Well, other personality traits already appear over time. They can also be influenced by parental relationships between friends. Sometimes we can even be dependent on outside opinions. Only a person can change himself! Not a single technique, it seems to me, can change a person’s character!
- Other people's opinions. The most common thing that can influence our character is our personality! sometimes we try to please people, follow their principles, sometimes live their lives! You don’t need to set yourself the goal of pleasing everyone! This is impossible!
- Does a person himself want to change himself? The person complains, complains that no one understands him, that everyone is talking about his rude behavior. But does the person himself want to change his character?
- Your surroundings. Take a closer look at who is next to you. Maybe those same people are your problems? Envious, angry, not wanting to change anything about themselves!
In general, I won’t start any big demagoguery. Let me just say that a friend complains that she has few friends. But this does not mean that there are none at all! Why doesn’t she notice this, sometimes it’s even offensive! If you have the same situation, remember that you have friends and they see positive traits to you! Finally learn to see them yourself!
Bad character traits poison the lives of not only loved ones, but also their owner. After all, if your own character brings problems one after another, then it is difficult to love yourself. Because of this, self-esteem falls and a sea of related problems arises. In this case, it is difficult to find a more logical solution on how to correct a bad character. This is not very easy, but with regular self-control it is possible.
So, what bad character traits can and should be corrected?
Unjustifiably inflated self-esteem, narcissism
Loving yourself is very important, but it is also important not to show it off. Self-love is like underwear: it should be chic, but no one wears it for show. If you openly consider yourself smarter than others and make it clear, soon there will be no one left in your circle. Is it possible to correct a bad character? Easily. Tell yourself every day that everyone has the right to their opinion and respect from you.
Rudeness, hot temper, hysteria
Failure to control own emotions and the habit of throwing them out on other people is the worst character trait. It is because of this that families break up and children grow up with a damaged psyche. To control yourself, you can mentally count to 10, drink a glass of water before continuing to talk, or take a time out. Learn to vent your emotions elsewhere: join a gym or go jogging.
The habit of lying, embellishing situations, not admitting your mistakes
On the list bad traits In a person's character, lies will always be present in leading positions. Why do people lie? To appear better, to hide your flaws, so as not to receive a well-deserved punishment. In general, lying is a manifestation of banal cowardice of character. Learn to take responsibility for your actions, words and behavior, and the need to lie will go away by itself. If your words cannot be trusted, then they are empty. And if you say empty words all the time, then you yourself are an empty person.
The habit of whining, being offended, complaining
If you have the habit of talking about bad things all the time, then your character is bad. In fact, it is very difficult to stay near a person who does nothing but see problems and obstacles in everything, is depressed, or worries about some reason. Help yourself: include bananas, dark chocolate, nuts, citrus fruits in your diet - these foods contain serotonin, the hormone of joy. Make it a rule in any difficult situation find at least three pluses - and your life will change!
There are a lot of good and bad character traits - choose for yourself only what will help you be a happy, easy-going person!