What is anger and how to get rid of it? Removing aggression. Practical guide

Have you ever found yourself thinking? “These traffic jams are annoying!!!”, “This queue has no end!!!”, “The children are screaming terribly loudly, when will this end?”, “I’m annoyed by my husband, neighbors, colleagues, dog, even the fact that the traffic light takes so long to light up! " Yes, today we will talk about how to get rid of aggression and irritability. Nowadays, many people face this problem. Sometimes people think that some people lose their temper for no reason, they scream and get nervous for no reason. But nothing happens for nothing. For some people, the techniques we will consider will be completely new.

Don't be so quick to judge people who behave aggressively. There are many reasons that cause sudden attacks anger, anger, aggression. But whether a person wants to change and fight his irritability or not, that’s another question. Often people do not understand where they have so much anger; they are glad to get rid of it, but do not know how.

In a person who is overcome by negative emotions, the pulse quickens, the heartbeat increases, the voice and movements become sharp. This condition is characterized by tingling in the neck and shoulders. Flashes of rage appear in the eyes. As a rule, a person does not experience such emotions for long. But many people manage to do stupid things during this time.

So what is the reason for this condition:

• Physiological reasons are often not taken into account. A person becomes more irritable if he has some kind of illness. For example, diseases gastrointestinal tract, hormonal disbalance in the body, lack of necessary substances in the body or feeling of hunger.

Women are a completely separate issue. For them, the cause may be PMS, although it has already been proven that if the body functions well, then mood swings will be minimal during the period of PMS.

• Psychological reasons are lack of sleep, stress, overwork. This also includes depression, although the cause of depression is mainly physiological abnormalities.
• Any irritant can cause an aggressive state. Remember this situation, you woke up in in a great mood, left the house with a smile, and then someone was rude to you on the subway, your mood was ruined for the whole day. And there are a great many such irritants around us.
• Heavy workload can also cause irritation. For the most part this applies to women. Now is the time when the fair sex is busy all day and often does not have enough time even to sleep. They wake up in the morning, go to work, then to the store, then household chores, and again everything in a circle. The family requires attention, we need to get everything done, but we can’t give away some of the household chores, because we think it’s better to do everything ourselves. Many reasons follow from this. These are lack of sleep, overwork, depression due to monotony, oppression. But other family members can experience the same thing.
• An aggressive state can also occur during an argument. Even if you are balanced and calm person, you may be provoked by others and cause negative emotions. You need to be able to cope with any situation, so the techniques described below will also suit you.
• High expectations often cause despondency. Inflated expectations of others or oneself. Most people will feel negative if plans are disrupted. You may give in if you dreamed of losing ten kilograms, but only managed to get rid of two. If you expected from yours, as you thought, loved one support in difficult times, but he turned his back on you.
• There is an opinion that aggression is a long-standing instinct. Since ancient times, such behavior contributed to survival, the struggle for territory, and improvement of the gene pool.

Tips for dealing with aggression and irritability

1. No matter how paradoxical it may sound, there is no need to accumulate irritation within yourself and suppress it. Emotions will not disappear anywhere, they will accumulate and find a way out in the form nervous breakdown, imbalance and psychosomatic illnesses. It’s not for nothing that they say that all diseases are caused by nerves.
2. Learn to accept people as they are. After all, unjustified expectations are often an irritant. This doesn't just apply to your family, friends or colleagues. First of all, this concerns yourself. To avoid disappointment from unachieved goals, set yourself realistic, achievable limits. Learn to accept and love yourself.
3. Think positively and learn to take only joyful moments out of any situation. You may ask, how can you think positively when there are only problems around? Whether it's a problem or an opportunity is up to you to decide. Any situation can be turned in your favor. About 4 months ago I watched the wonderful film “Polyanna,” I recommend it. He will teach you to see the positives and benefit from any situation.
4. Rest often and you will get rid of fatigue. As we have already said, the cause of irritation can be heavy workload. If on weekends you relax with your family in nature or at the theater, and on weekdays you get good sleep, then you will work more efficiently and get more done. In addition, you can divide household chores among all family members. Then you will have more time for communication and relaxation. Don't forget to leave some time for personal space.
5. Take care of your health. Both physically and mentally. In addition to fatigue and lack of sleep, the cause of irritation can be psychological trauma or depression. The reason may lie deep in a person's soul. In such a situation, the most important thing is to realize that there is a problem and begin to solve it.

Techniques for combating aggression

The first thing to do is to realize that there is a problem and find the cause of the outbursts of aggression. When you find an irritant, and this could be a person, a situation, you need to accept what is happening. It is important to understand that accepting a situation does not mean agreeing with it.

Emotions must find a way out naturally. But there are situations when this is unacceptable. Try to be alone at such a moment and find a way out of the emotion you are experiencing.

Be aware of your body during this technique. If any muscles are contracting, intentionally squeeze them even harder, intentionally intensify your emotion for 2-3 minutes. Next, change your position to the opposite one, but deliberately continue to feel the negative emotion. Within a few minutes, unwanted emotions will leave you. The exercise can be done several times in a row.

Another great technique is laughter. Take time to laugh, just like that, for no reason. Laughter must be alternated with emotions that bother you. The technique helps to release negative emotions well.

You can use the suggested techniques and advice if you feel that there is a problem with aggression and irritability, or you can contact a specialist. The most important thing is not to sit still and solve the current situation.

He talks about what aggression is, where it comes from and how to deal with it. family psychologist and head of the SoDeistvie center Anna Khnykina.

Sometimes a violation of boundaries is associated with an attempt on life, health, or a clear violation of the law - these are physical threats, beatings, invasion of private territory, rape, theft, and so on...

In this case, the best way out would be to resort to the help of the police and authorities, and not rely on any psychological super-techniques. There is no need to strive to be omnipotent; it is better to realistically assess the situation: admit your weakness in time and involve the competent authorities or at least passersby and neighbors.

Violation of boundaries means pressure, various manipulations, intimidation, coercion. Such violations can and should be dealt with.

Let's figure out what happens to us when our borders are violated. Very often, the true reaction to a violation of boundaries is feelings of powerlessness and fear, which in turn rarely results in downtroddenness and lack of will...

More often than not, our powerlessness instantly becomes anger, anger, and if we also feel ashamed, rage comes into play. You may not agree, but just think: when we seem vulnerable and weak, our first reaction is to defend ourselves, to strengthen our defense mechanisms.

In the name of protection

This is how it turns out - the one who defends himself is aggressive. Remember yours and you will see that every time you behave aggressively, you lose some control over yourself (otherwise you would not behave that way) and do something specific that could protect you. These could be words that stop the offender, arguments that destroy “his truth,” actions that stop him. All of these are your protective actions, in the name of preserving you and your understanding of the situation. But it is precisely in the name of protecting ourselves (our children, loved ones) that we often go beyond and violate the boundaries of another person. It is obvious that everything described happens quickly, no one, naturally, falls into analysis at such moments, we act spontaneously and mechanically, since we are talking in some way about instinctive behavior.

So, what can we do to prevent instinctive passion from ruling us? How to stop it without at the same time directing it inward, against yourself? How not to ruin relationships with loved ones or colleagues?

1) Realize. In order to neutralize your defensive reaction, you first need to figure out what exactly caused it. It happens that aggression includes helplessness in us, maybe it’s fear, or maybe it’s vulnerability or resentment.

Awareness of these moments is the first step. Realize what exactly caused your aggressive reaction? What made you vulnerable in this moment? What didn't you like? What are you really trying to hide? What are you running from? What exactly do you want to say to the offender?

2) The second step is to express aggression. Here it is important to release destructive energy outward so that it stops destroying you and pushing you into unconscious destructive actions. There are many ways and techniques, I will tell you about them now.

A) Somehow, many women really like this method of “reacting”: at the moment of a domestic quarrel, when it is no longer possible to remain calm and “keep face,” we don’t argue with anyone, we don’t object (because it’s clear that it’s useless), we don’t quarrel , and let's go to the bathroom. We close there. We throw the laundry on the bottom of the bath, pour some water, take off the slippers - and go! We trample and wash the clothes. You will feel when enough is enough.

b) You may tear the paper. Of course, so that no one sees. The best thing is whatman paper folded in four. Decent strength will be required, which means it will take a lot of energy.

V) Using bataka - take some object (stick, tennis racket, bat, rolling pin...) and beat upholstered furniture, with strength, better - leather (it makes a more effective sound). If there is no one in the room or the conditions allow it, shout!

G) Write a letter to the offender who violates your boundaries. If you are at work and there is no opportunity to go shout, sit down and write everything that you would like to say, but due to your upbringing and corporate etiquette, you cannot. In detail, with introductions and conclusions, what you want to do with it and why, and how you actually feel...

It is too great way expressions internal aggression. It helps a lot of people, I know from experience. I recently read a statement from a lady on the Internet: “I just go to the forum and start expressing all this to everyone there!” I'm sure she's feeling better! But it’s better not to convey this state of yours to anyone, but to write it down (paper, as you know, will endure anything) and then destroy it. It is important.

3) Third important step: switch! Go outside - this is the simplest and most wonderful thing you can do, even the air is different there. If this is not possible, go into another room, change the channel on the TV, “change the picture,” in a word. Or, metaphorically speaking, take “three steps sideways.” It is important to experience some situation in this “other place” - ask someone about something, look at the windows, try on something in a store, have a snack or read... It is important here to be in some other situation as a participant , not a witness.

After you realize what exactly turned you on, then “let off steam”, exhale, go into another space where you can be distracted, catch your breath, switch and literally “come to your senses”, you yourself will feel that you can return to unpleasant conversation, but in a different state.

Now you will be ready to negotiate constructively and calmly, and not shout that you are not understood.

What is anger? Why does this feeling sometimes take over us completely and not allow us to feel happy? Many people suffer significantly from their own lack of self-control; they do not know how to cope with it without offending anyone. The meaning of the word “anger” is clear even to small children. Anger is a strong emotion of displeasure that can be quite difficult to control. Everyone experiences anger and hatred to one degree or another. You just need to be able to work with your feelings in order to prevent accumulation negative emotions. What to do with anger, how to get rid of anger and hatred? Let's take a closer look at this issue.

Reasons for anger

Everyone has attacks of anger. And this is not surprising. Constant stress, quarrels and disagreements with others do not contribute to the harmonization of the inner world. The feeling of anger is completely natural for a person, like joy or surprise. Where does anger come from? So, what are the main causes of anger?

Envy

Anger and envy occur so often in life that it shouldn’t even be surprising. Some people simply cannot be happy about the achievements of others. Other people's victories literally make them suffer and feel inferior. Out of anger and resentment, people sometimes commit rash acts that they later regret. Anger and anger control them at this moment internal state, encourage active actions. Against this background, thoughts arise that contribute to aggressive attacks. But not everyone has the courage and can really show their true feelings openly in the eyes of their interlocutor. Most people simply have to hide their own state of mind in order not to lose control over the situation and the trust of others. It is extremely difficult to contain emotional tension within yourself. This requires significant volitional efforts. Not every person is generally able to realize what he is really experiencing.

Expectations mismatch

The emotion of anger often arises when, for some reason, a person’s important needs are not met. Let's say if someone made a promise and didn't keep it. Inconsistency of expectations gives rise to the development of negative emotions. The psychology of this phenomenon is such that a person in most cases expects some action from another and wants his leading needs to be satisfied. In women, the emotion of anger manifests itself much more often. This happens because it is difficult for them to control their own feelings. They have a tremendous need to be heard and understood. If this does not happen, then anger develops at oneself or at others. Anger and aggression thus appear in a natural way psychological protection. Fighting anger is useless in some cases. We need to give her the opportunity to express herself. You can suppress anger in yourself, but it is much more important to learn to control it, to know how to manage your inner state.

Family problems

We all live surrounded by relatives. Conflicts and disagreements often arise with loved ones. The fact is that every person, to one degree or another, feels the need to begin to express their true needs. If conflicts arise in relationships with loved ones, then aggressiveness will certainly manifest itself. It may not be obvious, but may indicate mild irritation. nervous system. Family troubles contribute to emotional instability. Getting rid of anger and irritation, for example, during pregnancy is not as easy as it might seem at first glance. If a person, especially a woman, does not feel emotionally satisfied, then a feeling of anxiety and irritation will accumulate inside. Before you think about how to cope with resentment, you need to understand what exactly caused such feelings to arise. How to control anger? It is impossible to do this constantly. The main thing to understand is that you need to know how to deal with this condition, and not just make countless attempts.

Hidden conflict

In some cases, a person cannot find the strength within himself and does not know how to cope with anger. The reason for the formation of anger is a hidden conflict. Touchy people constantly encounter internal experiences associated with misunderstanding and lack of internal support. To throw out anger, it turns out that sometimes it’s enough to let your own feelings go free. You can cope with hot temper and irritability only if you detect existing internal emotions in time. Many people, overcome by resentment, are afraid to let go external world suppressed rage and irritability. Usually hidden conflicts hurt people more than open anger. In psychotherapy there is even a phenomenon “ open door" It personifies the ability to spill out one’s true emotions, to release feelings.

Ways to fight

How to get rid of anger and irritability? This question haunts many people. Some women and men made attempts to contain their resentment, but they were unsuccessful. Overcoming negative emotions is not so easy. You need to learn to let go of destructive thoughts and gain control over yourself. How to get rid of envy and anger? Should I take any specific steps to help me understand how to get rid of aggression?

Analysis of the situation

Whatever the need to calm your nerves, you need to understand that you will have to work on yourself in this direction. Only then will it be possible to eradicate the habit of being angry, relieve irritation and nervousness. An offended person often, almost always, begins to freak out. He doesn’t know how to let go of resentment, how to overcome envy. How to get rid of the feeling of envy of yourself? It is imperative to consider the situation from different angles. Finding out your interlocutor's position is not so difficult. Most likely, he will talk about it himself. Analyzing the situation will help you reach a true understanding of the meaning of what is happening. During pregnancy, representatives of the fair sex have to think many times about how to overcome anger without harming themselves.

Work on yourself

Why can't you be angry? In fact, expressing your emotions is beneficial. It is much more harmful to hold them back and accumulate them within yourself for years. It is necessary, first of all, to understand what is really happening and why you want to swear so much. Constant negative emotions destroy the heart and contribute to the occurrence of various physical ailments. Effective work over yourself allows you to get rid of manifestations of negativism and irritability in a timely manner. Meditation and yoga are excellent at removing uncontrollable emotions, especially if a person resorts to them regularly. The human essence is such that we just need to get used to some kind of change and then our inner essence begins to calm down.

During pregnancy, you can relieve an attack of irritation just by thinking about the unborn child. Here you need daily work on yourself, which will allow you to win this fight. In general, you need to understand in advance that anger in people is a normal response to any negative stimulus. It is unlikely that it will be possible to take natural manifestations away quickly. This requires daily practice.

Healthy humor

The ability to look at any situation with a smile is akin to art. Healthy humor is what saves you from a lot of anxiety and disappointment in life. difficult moments. This requires regular work on yourself. When a person learns to see something useful in every situation, he will definitely acquire for himself best experience. And during pregnancy, healthy humor is doubly useful. It can bring a feeling of inner satisfaction, help you feel important and needed. If something goes wrong, you just need to try to look at the situation from the other side.

Love

Sincere feelings can truly transform a person’s inner world, making his experiences genuine and whole. How to overcome anger and irritability? We need to start experiencing strong feeling attachment, which cannot be defined. At such moments a person is transformed from the inside.

Thus, you can get rid of anger. To do this, you need to be honest with yourself and not suppress important emotions.

Anger can eat you up inside and slowly destroy your life. While anger is a natural emotion and a healthy reaction, giving in to it is dangerous. You have to learn to let him go for your sake. Here are some tips on exactly how to do just that.

Steps

Part 1

Understand anger. When present over a long period of time, anger becomes an emotion that hurts the person experiencing it more than the person or people it is directed at. Anger often occurs when someone wants to avoid feeling hurt by a situation, but this anger can only end up hurting him or her further.

Identify the root of your anger. Find out what exactly is causing you pain. Only by identifying the loss or underlying problem can you confront it and let it go.

• For example, if your spouse cheated on you or left you, naturally you would be angry. The sense of loss you are experiencing is most likely due to the loss of feeling loved, valued and respected.
• As another example, if you feel angry after a friend betrays you, the loss that leads you to sadness and anger is the loss of friendship and companionship. The more important this feeling of friendship was to you, the greater will be your loss, and the greater will be your anger.

1. Allow yourself to grieve. Because anger is often a mask to hide pain, remove that mask when you are alone and allow yourself to grieve that pain or loss without feeling guilty or weak about it.

   • Denying your grief is not a strength, although many people mistakenly believe that experiencing grief and sadness is a sign of weakness. When something upsetting happens, there is no real point in denying how much pain it causes you. The pain won't go away just because you refuse to admit it. In any case, the pain will remain longer if it is preserved internally.
   • Instead of saying, “I'm fine,” admit, “I'm suffering.” In the long run, this acknowledgment will help relieve pain and anger more effectively than denial.

2. Replace resentment with compassion. Another way could be to try to put yourself in someone else's shoes. Consider the reasons the offender might have for such actions. You may never fully understand someone else's motives, or maybe you will agree with them after accepting them, but you will find it easier to stop being angry at someone after you spend a little time in his or her head.

   • People rarely hurt others without hurting themselves in some way. Negativity spreads like a disease, and if you are caught by someone else's negativity, it is likely that the person caught it from someone else before.

3. Sorry. This does not mean that you have to accept, respect, or forgive the wrongdoing that caused your anger. In this sense, forgiveness only means making a conscious decision to let go of the grudge and desire to take revenge on the person who did you wrong.

   • Understand that forgiving someone may not encourage the other party to change their behavior. The purpose of forgiveness in this sense is to cleanse yourself of the anger and resentment that is growing inside you. Forgiveness for one's own benefit is an internal necessity, not an external one.
   • Forgiveness can help you build healthy relationships, reach more high level spiritual and psychological well-being, reduce stress and anxiety, lower blood pressure, reduce symptoms of depression and reduce the risk of alcohol or drug abuse.

   Part 2

   Approaching anger on a personal level

   1. Take a more optimistic view. Remember that every cloud has a silver lining. Although the situation that caused your anger may be extremely negative, there may be some positive aspects or side effects that are actually beneficial to you. Identify them and latch on to them to help you cope.

      • In particular, consider any ways your pain has helped you grow as a person. If this doesn't work, consider how your pain has set you on a new path leading to good things that you might not have experienced if you skipped this path entirely.
      • If you can't find positive sides unpleasant situation, look at other good things in your life and other things you can be grateful for.

   2. Write a letter or journal. If you keep a diary or journal, write about your anger as often as necessary to help you release it. If you don't have a journal, you can write an angry letter to the person who initiated your anger to vent your emotions. But don't send it.

      • Sending a letter is almost always a bad idea. Even if you phrase it as politely as possible, the other party will likely take it poorly, especially if he or she suffers from low self-esteem or other personal pain.
      • Ideally, you should write a letter, read it out loud, and tear it up or burn it as a form of symbolic release.

   3. Scream. There are times when a person feels so angry that he or she feels the urge to scream. If you're facing this kind of anger right now, pause reading and scream into your pillow. Screaming gives you physical release. The mind and body are connected, so by physically releasing your anger, you can also help relieve some mental emotions.

      • As a precaution, you should make sure your screams are well muffled by a pillow to avoid disturbing your neighbors.

   4. Practice. Like yelling, exercise provides physical release of your anger. If you're not a big fan physical exercise, you can still start small by walking more.

      • This works best when you find a form of exercise that you enjoy. Take a walk in the picturesque park, take a swim in the refreshing water, or throw a couple of balls in the basket.

   5. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones. When memories of past anger begin to surface, quickly replace the thought with something positive to prevent your mood from worsening.

      • You may remember something good in the past, think about something exciting ahead, or think bigger by daydreaming.
      • Although, as a general rule, you will want to avoid thinking about things related to the person who hurt you, even if those thoughts are positive. Remembering the way it was can increase the pain of how things turned out, only increasing your anger as a result.

   6. Metaphorically throw it away. If many of the details of a given situation upset you, you may want to find something symbolic to represent those components of your anger before throwing them away.

   7. Find a hobby you like. Sometimes the best way to heal from negative emotions like anger is to have a positive hobby that you are truly committed to investing yourself in.

      • If you don't have a hobby yet, try a few different ones. Take a class in painting, cooking, knitting, or any other potential hobby that catches your attention.

   Part 3

   Approaching Anger on a Spiritual Level

   1. Pray. If you believe in God, pray for strength of spirit and a willingness to let go of your anger. When you are unable to let go of your anger on your own, asking for Divine help can help soften your heart enough to release the anger.

      • If you can't find the words to express your anger and pain while praying, you can also look online and in prayer books for pre-written prayers that describe exactly how you feel.

   2. Meditate. Whether you adhere to any particular faith or not, meditation is in a good way to stabilize your body, mind and soul. There are many types of meditation you can try, so choose what's best for you and your needs.

      • When learning to meditate for the first time, choose a basic meditation program and create a calming space for yourself, but not so relaxing that you fall asleep during your meditation exercises.

   3. Turn to your faith. Again, if you believe in a higher power, rely on this higher power seeking strength to overcome anger and resentment can be a successful idea.

      • In particular, if you believe in God and that God is loving and active in the process of human history, release your negativity and realize that God has a purpose for your pain and has not abandoned you.
      • Consult with the religious leader at your worship center or others who share your faith for support and guidance. Read biblical texts or spiritual books written on the subject of anger and forgiveness.

Surely many of us know that outbursts of anger are a simple defensive reaction of our body. In this way we get rid of overwhelming emotions and experiences. But not everyone is capable of this because of their beliefs. Some believe that openly expressing anger is bad, others believe that this is how they show their weakness.

But, nevertheless, we are all human, and we tend to get angry. Aggressiveness is inherent in us by nature itself and, every time we suppress it, we direct our own strength against ourselves. The accumulated energy of anger and anger destroys us from the inside, causing illness, fatigue and depression. So how is it possible to get rid of anger, free yourself from accumulated grievances and negative emotions? Do you really need to give vent to your anger? But it is precisely from such outbreaks of aggression that the people closest and dearest to you can suffer...

Some people try to get rid of indignation on their own, and they try so hard that they sink even deeper into it. It would seem like a paradox: everything is clear, it’s impossible, without anger it will be better and easier, but the more you pronounce the formula “calm down” to yourself, the more angry you become.

To calm down and adequately respond to a certain critical situation, psychologists advise counting to ten. I think that many have heard about this method. But! This method helps some, but for others it does exactly the opposite. Gradually approaching “ten”, such people simply “loose their chains”, saying later that before the counting began they were much calmer.

The success of a response to a problem depends on the rapid release of negative emotions. The faster the better. And we often restrain ourselves, pushing resentment and anger deeper into our hearts. But after a while these emotions new strength asking to come out. That is why we are exhausted both physically and psychologically. But this does not mean at all that you need to break down, take revenge and destroy the offenders. In no case. You need to be able to release anger in alternative and harmless ways.

Here are several ways to relieve negative emotions of anger, irritability, aggression.

1. Give free rein to your feelings! It is very important to allow yourself to be angry and feel anger. You don't forbid yourself to laugh, do you? And joy is the same emotion as anger, only without your internal limitations. So, take a pillow and start hitting it - this way you will throw out all the anger and feel that it has become much easier for you, as if you have dropped a heavy burden.

If this method doesn't really suit you, then write a letter of hate and anger. Write on paper, pressing hard on the pencil or pen, putting all your hatred and anger into each word. After writing, be sure to burn the letter. There is another alternative to this method - lock yourself in the car and scream at the top of your lungs, or go to where there are fewer people (forest, dacha, etc.) and shout as you want!

2. Don't push yourself to the limit when you are yelled at or criticized! The best way coping with anger means expressing it to the person who angered you. Just say: “You know, I don’t like it when you talk to me like that...” or “I’m angry with you because...” Of course, it’s not always justified to express everything to your face. You can address the offender through the mirror. Play out the situation that pissed you off, and, imagining in the mirror the one who offended you, express everything you think about him. After your anger has subsided, try to sincerely understand and forgive him. Forgiveness will help you completely free yourself from anger and aggression.

3. Learn to pause! The easiest way to cope with yourself is to do deep breath and count to ten. I have already mentioned this method above. If possible, take a walk, because movement will definitely help cope with the rushing adrenaline. You can also “wash away” the negative. Do laundry or wash dishes. Contact with water will provide a discharge. When you feel like you can barely restrain yourself from saying too much, mentally fill your mouth with water.

Let the plot from the fairy tale about enchanted water help you with this: “Once upon a time there was an old man and an old woman. Not a day went by that they didn't fight. And, although both were tired of quarreling, they could not stop. One day a fortune teller came to their house and gave them a bucket of enchanted water: “If you feel like swearing again, take a mouthful of this water, and the quarrel will pass.” As soon as she was out the door, the old woman began to nag the old man. And he took water into his mouth and remained silent. What now, should the old woman shake the air alone? It takes two to fight! So they lost the habit of swearing..."

4. Get rid of accumulated anxiety and internal blocks!
The following techniques, borrowed from the Taoist teachings of Shou Dao, will help you.

The “Buddha Smile” exercise will allow you to easily achieve a state of mental balance. Calm down and try not to think about anything. Completely relax your facial muscles and imagine how they fill with heaviness and warmth, and then, having lost their elasticity, seem to “flow” down in a pleasant languor. Focus on the corners of your lips. Imagine how your lips begin to move slightly to the sides, forming a slight smile. Do not exert any muscular effort. You will feel your lips stretch into a subtle smile, and a feeling of incipient joy will appear throughout your body. Try to do this exercise every day until the “Buddha smile” state becomes familiar to you.

5. Go to a neurologist. Don't be shy or afraid. There’s nothing wrong with you, you’re healthy, it’s just that life has provoked a depressive state that is natural in your situation. Tell us about the recurring thoughts that debilitate you. You will be prescribed harmless medications, possibly homeopathic, which you will take when emotions overwhelm you. Don't be ashamed of what happens to you. This is not that uncommon.