How a man can develop self-confidence. Confident Man. Leader
Readers of my blog often ask me the question: “ how to become a confident person" In this article I will answer this question.
Self-confidence is determined by our subjective perception of ourselves, our capabilities and skills, our psycho-emotional state, our beliefs and internal attitudes. In addition, this quality is based on our actual skills and abilities.
When you are good at something, and, at the same time, reality has repeatedly demonstrated to you that you have truly succeeded in this skill, you have less food to doubt your skill.
If you have never had problems communicating, if you have always been able to clearly formulate your thoughts, be an interesting conversationalist, and you have always seen what a good impression you make on other people, then it will be difficult for you to doubt yourself as an interlocutor.
But things are not always that simple. Often we do not have an adequate assessment of our skills, and regardless of what we can and cannot do, we still doubt ourselves.
I'll give you 25 tips on how to become confident. Self-confidence concerns different aspects. Firstly, it is confidence in one’s strengths, in one’s capabilities, in one’s undertakings. Secondly, it is self-confidence in the communication process, which is expressed in firmness, perseverance and lack of shyness. Thirdly, this is the perception of your real qualities. By developing these qualities, you can be confident in them.
In my advice I will touch on all these components. I won't categorize advice based on how it relates to these multiple levels of self-confidence. After all, self-confidence is connected, for example, with confidence in communication. All these tips are interconnected and are suitable for a person who is afraid to communicate and a person who doubts his abilities or cannot defend his own point of view.
However, I will try to follow this line: first there will be advice related to working on eliminating doubts, then there will be advice regarding confidence in communication, and only then I will talk about acquiring some personal skills and abilities.
Tip 1 - Don't try to get rid of doubts, live with them!
When I started writing articles for this site, I was tormented by a whole lot of doubts: “what if I won’t be able to write, what if my advice won’t be useful to anyone, what if no one will read my site, what if my thoughts seem stupid, etc. »
At the same time, I was reading the book by G. Hesse - The Glass Bead Game. And one phrase from this book helped me awaken faith in myself. “...his doubts did not cease at all, he already knew from his own experience that faith and doubt are inseparable, that they condition each other, like inhalation and exhalation...”
Some of my readers may think that this will be followed by my phrase: “I read this, and, at this moment, all my doubts were miraculously resolved!”
No, my doubts have not disappeared. Just a quote from the book helped me finally become convinced of what I had only guessed about. Doubts and uncertainty are natural and natural. They accompany any endeavor. It is not always possible to escape from them somewhere. . Moreover, this is normal, because I started doing something new, unusual for myself and ambitious. Therefore, my first task is not to resolve doubts, but to simply do my job, without listening to the voice of uncertainty when it bothers me.
The fact is that in a large number of cases doubts are just emotions that have nothing to do with reality. If you think that you won’t succeed at something, it doesn’t mean that you really won’t succeed if you make every effort.
If it seems to you that they will not understand you, that they will laugh at you, this does not mean that everything will be exactly like that.
Doubts and confidence constantly replace each other. These are temporary phenomena. If you want to test this thesis, then remember the moments when you doubted something, and the next day you were more confident in it than ever. And if you don’t remember, then just watch yourself for a few days, pay attention to how confidence constantly replaces uncertainty. Usually people are more confident in themselves in the morning, when they are full of energy, than in the evening, when their strength leaves them.
Self-confidence depends on your tone, on your mood and even on your health. It's just one of the emotional states that comes and goes. Of course, this doesn't mean that you should simply ignore this condition in every case. Sometimes it can tell you something, for example, that you overestimate your strength. Sometimes you can simply get rid of it as a hindrance, an internal limitation that prevents you from achieving your goals.
But other times, you just have to stop listening to that voice of doubt and take action. It's normal to doubt yourself, and sometimes it even helps to get rid of a lot of arrogance. But doubts should not stand in the way of all your endeavors.
I want to say that becoming self-confident does not mean never doubting yourself. Being confident means overcoming your doubts and fears!
If you want to know, I still doubt myself often, but do I come across as an insecure person? If I stopped every time I encountered doubt, you would see almost no article on this site.
Tip 2 – Know the time when self-confidence leaves you
Pay attention to when and in what situations you are usually tormented by doubts. If you find some kind of pattern in this, then do not attach much importance to it.
For example, I noticed that I begin to strongly doubt myself, my endeavors, my words, my thoughts just before bed, when I start to fall asleep. I’ve already gotten used to this, and when self-doubt visits me again, I greet it like an old acquaintance: “here they are, evening doubts, as usual.”
I can’t say that I completely ignore this voice, but if I listen to it, I make allowances for the fact that this is a common emotional state for this time of day. And if at this time I doubt what I said, this does not mean that I am actually wrong.
On the contrary, in the morning I am usually confident in myself, sometimes even too confident. And evening doubts balance morning confidence, so I don’t deprive the evening doubting voice of attention, I just make corrections.
Learn to pay attention to the temporary, incoming nature of doubt, depending on your current state. Remember at what moments uncertainty comes to you. And if this happens all the time, and you see a pattern in this, reduce these doubts “in price”.
Also use moments of “confidence” to destroy your doubts. Think about what you doubt when you are on the rise of vigor and strength. This will help you decide on something.
Sometimes, if I'm tired or upset about something, one unkind comment on the site can kill the confidence in what I'm doing for a while in a matter of seconds. (Is it true Lately this happens less and less. Not comments, but uncertainty.)
And at this moment it doesn’t matter to me that a few minutes before I didn’t doubt anything. It also doesn’t matter to me that reality has repeatedly demonstrated to me that what I’m doing is correct.
People tend to overestimate the significance of the present moment in time and they extrapolate their current state to the global perspective of life. If it now seems to them that they are capable of nothing, then they begin to think that it has always been this way, despite all past successes.
At such moments, just try to look at reality, at your actual capabilities and successes, without succumbing to your current state. It’s like “in fact, I can do this and that, I can do this and that, I’ve already achieved this and that.”
For example, when I start to doubt my ideas, I think: my site has helped many people, they have already written to me about it, they read it regularly and leave grateful comments, someone, thanks to my advice, has learned to cope with... panic attacks etc.
At such moments, I do not try to praise myself, but simply look at the facts in order to regain an adequate understanding of reality.
I recommend that you stop at the facts and no longer argue with yourself. If your doubts are caused by your current mood (fatigue, irritation), you most likely will not be able to get rid of them until this state passes.
And if you start thinking about it a lot, then your mind, constrained by a state of fatigue, will continue to doubt and lead you to uncertainty. So just tell yourself that these doubts are lies. Rely on reality, not emotions. Didn't help much? Nothing, it happens. Then just forget about it and don't think about doubts. They will pass along with your bad mood.
Tip 4 – Don’t listen to people who say “you can’t do it”
It happens that when you doubt something, you share your plans with your friends and acquaintances. You expect them to support you in your new endeavor, but often all you get is a stop sign.
Some people are simply unable to dispel your doubts for the reason that they care about their own psychological comfort, and not about your happiness.
You don’t think that you are the only person who lacks self-confidence, and you are surrounded only by people who are confident in their own abilities? Unfortunately, most people never decide to do anything bold and independent. They want to believe that if something didn’t work out for them, then you won’t succeed either.
They secretly wish for your failure and even expect it. Because your success can become a living reproach for them, a reminder of missed opportunities.
Imagine that you have decided to open your own business and are consulting with a person who has been employed most of his life. What advice do you expect from him? Most likely, he will say that nothing will work out for you (because it didn’t work out for him), that you are taking risks and you should not go into this field, but continue to live ordinary life and go to work every day.
Therefore, consult about your endeavors with those people who have already achieved some success in the area about which you want to get advice. Take your example from them, and not from those who have failed.
Tip 5 – When you doubt yourself, think about your “ideal self”
It happens that our self-doubt tries to fraudulently pass itself off as arguments of common sense. For example, you are afraid to approach a girl or young man and ask him or her out on a date.
You tell yourself that it is not fear that is holding you back, but some objective obstacles. You think that this person will refuse you, that he already has someone, that you are not his type, and therefore there is no point in asking him out and wasting your time on it.
But, in fact, you are just afraid and do not want to admit your fear to yourself, coming up with excuses. How do you understand that it is fear that is holding you back?
Form in your mind an image of an “ideal self” who is not afraid of anything and who is always confident. It is a perfect copy of yourself. Think about what it would do if it were you? Wouldn't it even try to get its way?
But even if this “ideal self” decided to invite another person on a date, this does not mean that you are obliged to do so. You are not perfect. But when you realize that ideally you would have to cast aside doubts and act, you realize that all that is holding you back is only your fear and no other restrictions. The problem will immediately lose the complexity that you assigned to it. With this understanding, it will be much easier for you to decide on something.
Find out more about the “ideal self” method in my article.
While you are tormented by doubts: “I won’t succeed,” “I’m not capable of anything,” “I won’t be able to, etc.” , remember that everything depends only on your will. You yourself determine whether something will work out for you or not. If you want and show diligence, then everything will work out. And even if not, try again.
You free people, and no innate qualities or character traits prevent you from achieving your goal and becoming the kind of person you want to become, having received from life what you want to get. There are many more things subject to your will than you yourself are used to thinking.
You should stop seeing restrictions where there are none. Don't be afraid of difficulties, just start taking action.
The next few tips will touch on the problem of self-doubt in communication.
I already wrote about what I want to talk about at this point in the article, and here I will repeat it again. Don't think that all the people around you are constantly watching you, noticing all your shortcomings and remembering all your words. People are obsessed with their problems. Most of the time they think about themselves, even when they pretend to listen to you.
So relax and calm down. There is no reason to be afraid of communication or public speaking. People pay much less attention to you than you think.
I give this advice in many of my articles. Here I give it to next reason. If you learn to pay attention to someone other than yourself, your mind will be less occupied with fear of possibilities and plagued by doubts. You will stop endlessly thinking about yourself, about how you look, talk and what people think about you.
You will look at other people and engage in dialogue with them. You will take your mind off your fears and see in other people much that you had not noticed in them before. You will realize that you and other people have more similarities than differences. And therefore there is no need to be afraid of anyone.
You are not perfect. And no one is perfect. Accept it. Therefore, you should not react painfully to your mistakes and failures, which undermine your self-confidence. Everyone makes mistakes and that's okay.
Therefore, be calm about your mistakes. If you feel that you did something wrong or said something wrong, then simply draw conclusions from this situation, learn a lesson. Try not to make this mistake in the future, instead of worrying about how stupid you were.
It's human nature to make mistakes, there's nothing wrong with that.
The people around you most likely have many flaws and weaknesses, even if they seem very confident. You don’t need to think that when you find yourself in society, you become in the position of a small fish surrounded by sharks. In fact, you may be surrounded by people who are just as meek and self-doubting as you think you are. Even if they try to hide it.
You should not be afraid of people, especially if they cannot do you any harm. Do not be shy in front of your bosses, women or men, or colleagues. They are people just like you.
You shouldn’t go out of your way to convince people that you are the smartest, the most sophisticated, the most erudite, the most “correct.” Such attempts, as a rule, indicate uncertainty about some of your qualities. When you are not too confident in your mind, you try to make other people believe in it.
Therefore, in some cases, vanity, boasting, and excessive assertiveness in communication may indicate internal doubts in itself.
So stop bragging and trying to impress every person. First of all, you need to convince yourself that you are worth something. Be who you are when interacting with other people.
Undoubtedly, moderate modesty is a virtue. You don’t need to appear better than you are, but you also shouldn’t seem worse than you are. Everything must have a limit. Don't be shy about speaking directly about your strengths if you are asked about them (for example, in an interview).
If you are not afraid to talk about your strengths, it shows your confidence in those qualities. And when other people see that you are confident, they become confident in you. They think: “I see that this person does not doubt himself, and since he does not doubt, then most likely he has nothing to doubt, and I can also be confident in him.”
And if other people praise your qualities, then without embarrassment, accept their compliments as if you deserved it. Thank people for good words to your address.
Despite the fact that a little higher in the article I advised being yourself and not pretending, I still recommend portraying self-confidence in situations where you feel a lack of this quality.
Firstly, appearing confident is simply beneficial, for the reason that people themselves become more confident in you. It is a fact that people who are insecure are less loved and respected.
Secondly, when you simply pretend that you are confident, you actually become confident. After all, very often feelings of uncertainty and doubt have nothing to do with your actual qualities. These are just emotions that can be overcome. And when you try to do something different instead of following their lead, you take control of them.
Smile more, be interested in other people's problems, encourage them. This will endear your interlocutors to you. And when people are friendly towards you, it is easier for you to maintain self-confidence.
Do not withdraw into yourself, speak openly about your views and thoughts if the situation allows and this will not disturb the comfort of other people.
Previously, when I was an insecure person, I always had something on my mind, not letting it go. But this did not help me gain faith in myself, on the contrary, it only contributed to the fact that I lost it. As a result of self-development, I became very open. It seems to me that for my close people I am always in full view.
On the one hand, I am confident in my thoughts, so I speak about them directly. On the other hand, I am not afraid that I will not be understood or will be criticized. I’m not afraid to admit that I’m wrong, to renounce my views if someone convinces me otherwise.
I am interested in discussing with people on topics that concern me, learning other people’s opinions, expanding my horizons.
When I talk about myself out loud, when I present my thoughts to everyone, then I have to eliminate all doubts, since I do this. And such an action helps to be more confident in myself, because I expose myself to the test of the opportunity to face someone else’s opinion. Under the influence of these factors, self-confidence blossoms!
Don't wait for someone to pour out their soul to you first to open your soul to that person. Take the first step (although the circumstances must be suitable, there is no need to pour out your soul unnecessarily. You should start a sincere dialogue as delicately as possible, removing all barriers). Be frank with your interlocutor, and then the interlocutor will be frank with you. And when someone opens up to you, then your self-confidence will increase!
Of course, appearance has some meaning, but charisma, intelligence and charm mean incomparably more! 😉
Speak clearly. Look into the eyes of your interlocutors, do not make unnecessary hand gestures. Don’t crumple your fingers, don’t pick your lips, don’t “uh-huh.” Just watch yourself, the position of your body, hone your communication skills and then, sooner or later, it will start to work out for you.
Have a strong position and unshakable views regarding certain things. Don't rush to agree with everyone. A firm position does not mean blind stubbornness in opinion. This also does not mean that you always need to aggressively defend your opinion, or engage in long, meaningless arguments (although, in some situations, you have to defend yourself).
This means having a strong, well-founded, thoughtful position, a set of one’s own principles that cannot be shaken by every random opinion.
I am confident that I am doing the right thing by maintaining this site and filling it with articles. I believe that meditation is beneficial, and people are missing out on many of the benefits if they give up the practice. I am sure that people themselves are responsible for their own shortcomings. I am sure that every person...
I have strong principles and views on which my words and actions are based and therefore I am confident in those words and actions. This confidence helps me continue to do what I do. Sometimes clouds of doubt begin to obscure it, but behind these clouds you can always see the Sun, because it never disappears.
Form your life position. Understand what you want from life. Think about your principles, stick to them, but avoid stubbornness, blind enthusiasm and rejection of other people's opinions! Maintain a balance between moderate healthy stubbornness and softness, be flexible but firm, rely on the opinions of other people, but do not depend on them!
Formulate your principles. Let me give you an example of this principle: “if you show diligence, everything will work out.” Realize how confident you are in this principle. Reason like this: “the experience of many people confirms this principle. The one who really strives for something does not give up, only he achieves something. Therefore, I can be confident in this principle. And it doesn't matter what others say! They can say anything!” Hold on to this principle. Sometimes it will be obscured by doubt, then return again to your inner confidence, again and again find confirmation of the truth of this idea in life and in experience.
You don't necessarily need to take any special courses to improve your self-confidence. Why do this, why pay money, when reality provides many reasons to develop this quality?
Why would you train in some artificial situations when life gives you the opportunity to hone your skills in real situations?
You need self-confidence for life, so learn from life!
Meet other people, go to meetings, group events (it’s better to abstain from alcohol; I wrote why in an article about). Put the recommendations I have given into practice, take care of yourself, be aware of your fear and uncertainty. Try to understand what things you are unsure about and why. What are you going to do about it?
are great free lessons in business communication and self-confidence. Just remember to put a salary above your current level on your resume. The higher the salary you ask for, the harder it is to justify that you are worthy of the money. But in the process of such communication, your self-confidence will strengthen.
A side effect of such training may be that you find a more suitable job for yourself for more money. Isn’t it tempting to not pay for lessons and get them yourself?
Of course, it is very difficult to be confident in your qualities if these qualities are poorly developed. Self-confidence must be based on something real, on your actual merits.
Of course, self-perception and emotional state are very important components of self-confidence. People need to stop belittling their merits and learn to cope with doubts, as I wrote about above.
But, unfortunately, this alone is not enough. I think it's not entirely correct to convince them that they are better than they really are. Increasing self-confidence must necessarily be accompanied by work on oneself, self-development, so that something in a person can be confident.
Therefore, develop your personal qualities. This blog is dedicated to how to do this. Read my articles, try to apply the recommendations. , improve self-control.
Read more books of any kind: fiction, science books, educational books, etc.
Improve your professional qualities. Think about what you want. Follow this goal.
Always strive to learn something new about this world, to learn some skills. As you master certain skills, your confidence in those skills increases. After all, it is difficult to doubt what you have devoted so much time to and what you do better than others.
Think about what you are good at.
If you constantly learn something, put your skills into practice, and see the impact of your actions, then there will be much less room for self-doubt!
Update 01/22/2014: As I read in the book, it turns out that people who think that all their qualities are given by nature and cannot be changed are less confident in themselves than those who believe in the possibility of self-development and growth! Why is this happening? Because people with the so-called fixed mindset (qualities cannot be developed) believe that if they are shy, lack charm, and are not smart enough, then this will always be the case. Therefore, they are afraid of communication, since it will once again remind them of their “ineradicable” shortcomings.
But people with a growth mindset (traits that can be developed), on the contrary, do not miss the opportunity to develop their communication skills and self-confidence. For them, the very fact that they are not smart and self-confident does not mean that this will always be the case. It may be difficult for them to communicate and believe in themselves yet, but everything can be developed. That is why failures do not undermine these people’s self-confidence. They are not afraid of challenges and are only looking for a reason to develop themselves and become better!
Someone else's criticism is not a death sentence for them. It becomes valuable information that they can use for self-development. Failures are no longer failures, they become valuable lessons. Willingness for trials and failures, healthy stubbornness and intransigence build people’s self-confidence! And if you do not strive to develop your qualities and consider yourself a worthless person who will never be capable of anything, you will never achieve anything and will not be able to develop self-confidence.
Therefore, I reminded you once again that any qualities can be developed! Every person can change! You suffer from self-doubt not because you are “that kind of person”, but because you have not made any effort to change!
I have already said that you should know your strengths. But besides this, you need to know your shortcomings. For what? To be calm about them and understand what you need to work on.
Instead of thinking: “I’m so bad, I can’t do anything,” you need to think like this: “I can do this, this and that, but I’m weak in this, this and that. I can improve some qualities, some I don’t need at all, and with some of them I can’t do anything. It’s normal, because you can’t be perfect.”
Make a list of what you are good at and what you are bad at. And think about what you can improve in yourself. Take these shortcomings not as a given, not as something unchangeable, but as a frontier for future work.
Yes, you don’t know how to do something now, but in the future the situation may change thanks to your efforts. All in your hands. This understanding will give you extra confidence in your abilities, which will not hurt you at all.
If you believe that practically any qualities can be developed (and this is undoubtedly possible) and strive for this, then you will stop avoiding those life situations that you were afraid of due to self-doubt. Because, as I said earlier, many of these life situations are training for your personality traits.
Are you bad at communication? Instead of avoiding communication, on the contrary, communicate! This is the only way you can develop your communication skills.
Are you afraid of speaking in public because you think you're bad at it? There is only one way to learn this and I think you can guess which one.
Do not avoid what you are afraid of, work on eliminating your shortcomings, those qualities of your personality that you are not sure of. Learn new skills and put those skills into practice in a variety of life situations. Instead of giving in to difficulties, overcome them armed with the desire to develop. And then you will open up many more life opportunities than if you just sat with your hands folded.
If you don’t know how to do something, or doubt some of your qualities, develop it! Why grieve? Try, experiment, be diligent. And if something is impossible to achieve, then there is no point in being sad about it! Why worry about something you can't change? Accept it!
Tip 25 – Don’t wait for confidence to appear – take action
This is the last and most important advice. You don't have to wait until you don't have any doubts or fears before you decide to do anything. You can wait in vain for this state to appear all your life without starting to do anything.
Doubts and fears will not go away. Remember, I said that doubts accompany any bold endeavor. And you will not be able to become confident in yourself until you begin to step over your fears, act contrary to them, not paying attention to your anxiety and uncertainty.
Your goal is not to get rid of fear, but to learn to ignore it! And the more control you gain over it, the smaller it becomes. Therefore, do not wait for it to become easy, act now, through strength, through uncertainty. Then life with all its troubles will strengthen your character and it will become as hard as a diamond and indestructible as a typhoon!
Blog Many interesting articles
We have created an existential dictionary especially for you so that you can understand the meaning of many words. This especially applies to our inner world. We have a hard time understanding character traits. It's time to put an end to this! Now you will find answers to all the questions that have tormented you for many years. For example, what is Spirituality? Definition of the category RESPONSIBILITY. And much more. We go through all these categories in our trainings, and in practice we learn to apply them in Everyday life:
How can a man develop self-confidence?
16.11.2018 550
Uncertainty and low self-esteem are problems that not only women face. According to psychological research, the number of insecure men is growing rapidly from year to year. The difficulty is that not every representative of the stronger sex is ready to admit the problem and begin to solve it. You can change your character, develop masculinity, and overcome complexes through hard work.
Self-confidence is the key to success and superiority. People who can overcome fear can achieve success in any endeavor. Today we will figure out how to become a confident man and develop leadership qualities.
First, you need to determine what confidence is, why you need to work through complexes. A person with high self-esteem:
- is not afraid to openly express his opinion, even if it differs from the views of other people;
- does not worry about the reactions of others, therefore he is always calm and freely expresses emotions;
- reacts quickly in any situation, improvises, sees several options for solving one problem;
- believes in his own strengths, easily takes on the implementation of new ideas;
- makes contact easily, is not afraid of meeting people or difficult tasks.
The absence of such qualities is an indicator of low self-esteem, lack of confidence in own actions. Don't despair, this is not a diagnosis. You can improve your skills, become decisive and self-confident through hard work.
Causes of self-doubt
Before answering the question: how to stop being shy and become confident, you need to understand what the reason for the complexes is and what to work on. Often the root cause of low self-esteem is:
Some people develop self-confidence in childhood, while others have to work for many years to become arrogant and self-confident.
There is no single algorithm for achieving success. This is a complex process that requires constant work and movement towards your goals. If you really want to change, regularly ask yourself the question: how to get rid of complexes and become confident, be ready to take action. You can create an individual plan, break it down into small, realistic goals and move to the next item only after completing the previous one.
Use some effective tips and recommendations that will help you become stress-resistant and self-confident.
- 100% confidence
Absolute faith in yourself. Whatever you do, whatever decision you make, any action you take is doomed to success. Learn to take responsibility for decisions made, keep your word, keep promises. By mentally programming yourself for failure, it is impossible to achieve success. If you think that nothing will work out and any endeavor will end in failure, so be it. It all starts with thoughts, control them, cast aside doubts.
- No complaints
Complaints, accusations external circumstances- this is a sign of weakness. Everything that happens in the life of every person is the result of a choice made, a decision made. Eliminate, weed out the desire to complain at the inception stage. Negative thoughts make you depressed, make you vulnerable, and increase your insecurity. Successful people don't whine or blame external world in your own failures. All responsibility is yours alone.
Everyone has difficulties and problems, but some people rise up and continue to move forward, while others become fixated on failure and experience it in their thoughts. No matter how difficult it may be, don’t give up. Look for a way out difficult situation, solve the problem: this is what successful people do.
- Past failures remain in the past
The more time you spend brooding over failures, the more opportunities in the present elude you. Don't scold yourself, don't regret decisions made. Learn to draw conclusions and put them into perspective. Failures are a life experience, a foundation that will make you wiser. Gain new knowledge, accumulate practical skills, read books. Only confident men have an inner core. Therefore, all grievances, accusations and claims against the family should remain in the past.
- We look up to ourselves only
Comparison with other, more successful people lowers self-esteem and develops depression. Focus solely on your achievements and victories, evaluate the result only by yourself. The main task is to become every day a little better than yesterday, an improved version of yourself.
- No criticism
Criticism leads to a negative perception of yourself and the world. Don't waste energy on judgment, concentrate on your own tasks, goals and move your own path. Praise yourself more, reward yourself for small victories. Don't focus on own shortcomings(height, nose size, baldness, etc.) accept them and move on with your life. What you are able to change (weight, bad character), change, work on.
- Organization
Find an activity that disciplines you: sports, swimming, jogging, etc. Eat right, become a versatile person with interests and hobbies, take care of your appearance. This will help you love yourself and increase your own importance. A confident person knows his own worth, lives his own life, without looking at strangers. You cannot become successful by doing what others want.
For the first time, you can start a diary to organize your time and record your thoughts. Think through your actions in advance, the possible outcomes of the situation, in order to find an alternative solution if necessary. Remember, when you achieve success, your self-esteem skyrockets.
- Environment
Avoid communicating with whiners, envious people, and people who cause negativity. You should be surrounded by self-confident, positive people, with whom it is interesting and educational. Communication should bring pleasure and increase energy. The same is the case with women. There is no need to spread yourself thin on everyone. Only a successful girl can be next to a successful man.
- New acquaintances, public speaking
When understanding the question of how to become courageous and self-confident, remember about making new acquaintances. These are impressions, experience, overcoming fears. Communication with new people liberates, allows you to open up, teaches you to express your opinion and respect others. Don't be afraid to show your attitude. There will always be someone who will disagree. For a self-confident person, the opinions of others do not matter. They move towards the goal, taking into account only constructive criticism.
This is just some of the advice that will help you become a confident person worthy of respect. Never count on others; the ability to solve problems on your own is a sign of success. Don't avoid responsibility, make decisions and become the master of your destiny. Success does not come overnight, it will require hard work, but the result is worth it.
Have you ever wondered why some people achieve their goals while others stagnate? Many will say that the key thing here is the number of actions that a person has performed to achieve a particular goal. One put in a lot of effort, and the second was simply lazy, and therefore did not achieve his plans. Yes, without a doubt, taking active steps towards the desired goal is a basic skill that every man should have, and this skill helps. It determines further development, but we must not forget about one more element. Which one?
Self-confidence is the missing piece
As you already read from the title, the second element is the development of self-confidence. Let's look at this concept.
Confidence is faith in yourself, faith in your strength, faith in your capabilities, faith in your potential, faith that you can realize your dreams.
The most important word is faith. If we translate this mystical word into logical language, it will mean unshakable conviction in something. Therefore, the phrase “self-confidence” is the conviction that you can already do everything without a doubt. For example: you can be sure that you will perform wonderfully on stage; you can be sure that you will easily meet a girl; you can be sure that you will lift a 100 kg barbell in the gym.
In fact, you may not even have any skills in any field of activity. You may not have practice. However, your inner self-confidence will give you everything you need, which sometimes allows you to. For example: you will believe in yourself when you start meeting girls. Those. you will perceive yourself as capable of doing this. And if you already know that you are capable, then nothing will stop you from taking the first step.
You can blame me for having my head in the clouds right now. How can a man be confident when communicating with girls if he has never communicated with them? Very simple.
A man should have inner confidence from birth, acquiring it in childhood.
He should initially perceive himself in a positive light, and not in a negative one. He must understand his uniqueness, accept his individuality, rely on his own strengths, and not on environment. True, in most cases, men do not have self-confidence. What is the reason?
These are the roots of self-doubt
Education is the most important factor, affecting the development of internal self-esteem or confidence. Even the word “self-esteem” means evaluating oneself. In other words, what rating will you give yourself, how will you evaluate yourself - positively or negatively. Self-esteem and self-confidence are synonymous words rather than two opposing concepts.
Your self-confidence (or self-esteem) comes from your upbringing. Think for yourself, what kind of family did you grow up in - complete or incomplete? Were you raised by your father and mother? Or were you raised only by your mother because your father left the family when you were little? Or maybe you were raised only by your father? There are many options. Each parent contributes to the development of their own child.
If your parents loved you and appreciated you for who you are, then you will probably grow up confident. If your mother gave you her warmth, and your father taught you what a man should be, then you will understand that everything is fine with you. You won't worry about whether you're attractive to women. You won't think about how to behave with a woman. You will not doubt yourself and will stop feeling inner emptiness.
It's important to clarify something. If your parents constantly limited you, endlessly pitied you, looked for flaws and shortcomings in you, then it is not surprising that at this moment you feel weak and lost. No wonder you don't feel like a normal man who is okay with women. If your parents perceived you through a negative prism and labeled you, then what kind of self-confidence can we talk about?
You've probably heard that a child absorbs everything like a sponge?
- He absorbs the negative and positive beliefs of his parents.
- He unconsciously copies their behavior.
- He understands how he should behave with the opposite sex.
Moreover, all this happens at some automatic level, i.e. The child does not consciously understand this. The very atmosphere in the family affects the development of the future man and his self-confidence. The more intense the atmosphere, the greater the imprint it will leave on the soul of the little man.
The role of the father in the development of self-confidence in the future man
From his father, the boy adopts masculine qualities, namely: perseverance, activity, the ability to lead men and women, the ability to make decisions, the ability to take responsibility, the ability to rely on oneself (otherwise, it gains self-confidence).
If the father himself possesses these qualities, then without a doubt his son will be able to adopt them. Important role it plays whether the father lived in the family of this child or not. And if he didn’t live, then how much attention did he pay to his son? How did he perceive his son? As a future man or as a person who constantly needs help and babysit?
The son is practically a copy of his father. From whom else can a boy learn the qualities of character and masculine beliefs he needs in life? How a father perceives his son is how the son will perceive himself.
If a boy has not learned since childhood to defend his point of view, compete with other boys, achieve his goals, communicate with girls, then where will all these skills come from? adult life? They will have to be developed independently, and this is a complex and time-consuming process.
From the father, the son learns “what is good” and “what is bad.” Is it good or bad to fight back? Is it good or bad to do what you love? Is it good or bad to adapt to others? Is it good or bad to believe in yourself? Is it good or bad to not keep your promises? Is it good or bad to exercise? Is it good or bad to betray your friends?
A boy gains self-confidence or does not gain it by about 7 years. His success or failure in life will come from his childhood. If his father taught him everything he needed, then the boy will be able to manage his life and not go with the flow.
The role of the mother in upbringing is also very important, because it is she who gives her son her attention, care, and love. After all, she was the one who carried him and gave birth to him. By the way, there is a theory that a man unconsciously chooses women similar to his mother.
Both father and mother should be involved in raising a son. One or the other cannot be ruled out. Each one is important in its own way. Everyone makes their own contribution to their son's development of self-confidence. But in the development of a boy, a man must make a key contribution, because he is a role model for his son.
How to gain self-confidence?
If your life has developed in such a way that your father had no influence on your upbringing, then you will have to develop self-confidence on your own. For many guys, it has been undermined since childhood. Now you wonder every day how to gain self-confidence. Now you endlessly think about why you have not achieved anything in life, why you are weak-willed, why you are afraid of women and do not know how to lead them, why you do not allow yourself to express your opinion, why you are a passive observer and not an active doer?
Let's think about what you can change now?
- You can learn to overcome your fear in any matter in which you feel unsure.
- You can begin to take responsibility for your life and the choices you make in it.
- You can start doing what you like.
- You can try to express your opinion.
- You can try to lead a girl.
- You can take initiative and be active.
- You can set goals and move towards them.
- You can learn from your mistakes.
- You can change your perception of yourself from negative to positive.
- You can accept your past and begin to change your present.
- You can delete your useless and ineffective habits, and add useful and effective ones.
- You can seek help to learn all of the above. And you can also rely on yourself. In any case, YOU make the choice.
I hope you found this article helpful. I will trust that you will apply the knowledge you have received, draw the right conclusions from what you read and can finally gain self-confidence. So that there are no problems.
I would like to end this article with one interesting quote:
Do you believe that I can do it?
- Someone can do it. Why not yours?
It's no secret that self-confidence is the key to a happy future, advancement in career ladder, respect from others, to normal family life, and in general, the key is to good mood. Sometimes uncertainty gives rise to low self-esteem, as a result of which a person is afraid to do something that he later regrets. Often, such a feeling simply destroys everything that you have built over the years, that you have been achieving for decades. But you shouldn’t think that such a trait is a mark for life. This is only a temporary difficulty that needs to be overcome. Work on yourself.
There is a high probability that uncertainty is “hello from the past.” Not everyone has a successful childhood. For some, parents created obstacles by not raising a little boy or girl correctly.
For example: you had a dream to start playing hockey, but your parents went against your wishes and enrolled you in an art school. You certainly have not achieved success in this industry, as a result of which you lose the confidence to do anything else.
Some were simply afraid to materialize their ideas without revealing their talents 100 percent. But now we are adults and it’s time to think about our lives. Change your plans for life, bringing new colors and impressions into it.
Let's act, don't stand still!!! Don't wait for calls from others. Build your world, your life, your future. Learn to learn from your mistakes. Don’t give up, but on the contrary, proudly raise your head up and say “I will go through everything, kneeling is not my destiny.” Don't look for approval from loved ones or strangers. You should not analyze your own or others' shortcomings.
Doesn't matter ideal people does not exist, everyone has their own vices. Nevertheless, each person is good in his own way, it is important to see this in him and recognize it in himself. Remember your positive qualities more often. Increase your self-esteem. Get rid of any fears. You only have one life, don’t waste precious minutes being afraid. It is necessary to act here and now!!!
How to develop self-confidence
There are many ways to develop self-confidence. Psychology knows a huge number of methods, one of which is understanding that you really need it. In order for the formation to occur more effectively, it is necessary to remember all situations. Scroll for all details past life in my head. Remember those times when, due to self-doubt, you missed a lucky chance, lost the opportunity to gain something truly important or start life from scratch.
For example: During your school years, you really liked one girl. Initially, she didn't pay any attention to you because you were indecisive and shy. At the prom, the girl herself took the first step towards meeting you, but, remaining just as timid and insecure, you were unable to confess your feelings to her and missed the opportunity to find your soulmate, which you had dreamed of from a young age.
Most likely, you experienced great anxiety when making important decisions, were afraid to go against your interlocutor, and did not speak out when necessary. Having gained self-confidence, there is a high probability that this will not happen again, and your life will take on a different meaning. You will take a new place in society where you will be valued and respected. You will become stronger, more confident, more assertive. Remember often those moments for which you feel proud. Keep only such moments of life in your head. Set goals for yourself and achieve them by any means (except illegal ones, of course). Bring everything to completion without stopping in front of obstacles that appear.
The second option for developing self-confidence is “action without unnecessary hesitation and doubt.” The essence of this method is that, having thought through the situation, you need to immediately make decisions, implementing your plans, without giving in to doubts and fears.
For example: you decided to do construction business, you have the funds to open, a ready-made thoughtful plan and the necessary business skills. At this moment, you decide to implement your idea and in a couple of years you become a successful entrepreneur with your team and a stable income. 
Thoughts that you are afraid to materialize are useless and harmful to building your life. Motivate yourself to achieve. Visualize in your mind what success you can achieve by gaining self-confidence. Think that any task assigned is feasible. Dismiss all doubts, because only in your imagination the plans you have made are impossible. Understand this, and then everything will become much simpler and easier. Psychologists believe that uncertainty is formed in childhood due to excessive parental care. Or, due to the fact that you tried to meet all established standards, you imitated someone. Also, insecurity and low self-esteem may have developed because you were belittled by others after making a mistake.
For example: During your school years, you often had to give answers at the blackboard in front of the whole class. But one day you accidentally made a mistake by writing the word “deer” instead of the word “autumn” in a sentence. In your opinion, it was a stupid, harmless mistake, but your classmates laughed in your back and later began to call you this animal. Since then, you have been afraid of making mistakes, but a few years ago you should have just fought back the offenders, or simply not paid attention to stupid things.
But all this is just the past!!! No need to live old life, remember the bad. If you once fell to your knees, it does not mean that you will remain on earth for the rest of your life. Don't look for someone to blame. These are only temporary difficulties.
In order to understand the question “how to gain self-confidence?”, you need to free yourself from the habit of blaming everyone around you and shifting responsibility to them. When remembering your childhood years, pay closer attention exclusively to bright, cheerful moments.
For example: Focus your attention on your first birthday (even if you don't remember it). Birthday cake with candles, making a wish, Balloons, tied with a red and blue ribbon. Parents' smile and mother's kiss. The laughter of a father who is especially proud and happy for his child on this day.
Throw away gloomy thoughts! It is important to understand one simple thing: no one has the right to evaluate you, not even you. Because each person is individual, and it is necessary to develop positive qualities in yourself without comparing yourself with other people. By changing our inner world, we are able to change those around us, giving them our positive emotions.
If you have succumbed to criticism from third parties, this is not a reason to change your individual qualities, manners, appearance or behavior. Don’t lose confidence, don’t lower your self-esteem, because there will always be someone who will be dissatisfied with something. Don't try to please everyone, love yourself for who you are. Once you realize that you have no flaws, you will develop confidence in yourself, and your fears will fade into the background.
Exercises for self-confidence
The training that truly teaches you to increase self-esteem and self-confidence, leading to lasting and profound changes, is as follows:
- Duration – from 30 days (to form the habit of thinking differently, casting aside doubts and stopping being afraid);
- Includes a meditative technique for developing changes and consolidation of newly acquired skills, such as discarding doubts on a subconscious and conscious level;
- Carrying out exercises that allow you to let go of past negative experiences, previous failures that help reduce self-esteem to the lowest level;
- Improves life after just one month and sometimes increases the level of income of participants;
- Easy to implement tips and exercises. Even the most insecure people can achieve good result, following a few instructions. The number of exercises implemented will translate into quality. The skills of internal self-confidence will be formed and self-esteem will increase;
- Doesn’t take a huge amount of time and doesn’t take away vitality. But since modern world is fleeting, a person simply has neither the first nor the second. Approximate amount of free time – one hour – only 60 minutes;
- The level of tension decreases and the shell is dropped from the soul and body. Your muscles relax and you feel warm. Blood flows through the veins moderately, slowly, reaching the heart. Positive emotions and harmony creep into the heart.
This is a short excursion into the benefits of exercises (the actual practical part will be a little further).
Confident turtle With the modern pace of life, it is not enough to practice the right exercises. Life changes so quickly, new complications and difficulties appear. Society overloads itself with work, everyday troubles and worries. In this regard, there is too little time left for practice, but sometimes not enough energy. That is why every person tries to achieve results as quickly as possible.
- An environment that motivates change or practice in the company of like-minded people.
Changes in your inner world happen faster and much easier when you find yourself in an environment that will support you. Thanks to chain reaction, participants provide each other with support and stimulation.
It is important to find people who will become a support in your endeavors. Don't stay in the current environment where you can be ridiculed and your motivation will be reversed. Never be afraid to admit to other people that you are working on yourself, developing confidence and increasing your self-esteem. Open up to these people, and it is likely that they will follow you.
- Meditation: the engine and fuel for moving forward.
In order to decide to change, vital energy is needed. But where can you get it if you become exhausted from everyday work and worldly bustle? The answer to this question is very simple: take up meditation techniques. With the help of meditation, a person gains strength, the speed of self-change increases tenfold. In this way, the meditation technique turns into a pleasant and easy process.
Using this method, you will learn to free yourself from grievances and stop feeling guilty. This will happen in a matter of seconds – once and twice!!!
I cannot teach you this technique through letters, words and sentences. You need to find an experienced person who will teach you all the most important things in order to meditate on your own in the future, without the help of third parties throughout your life.
- Get a head start with self-confidence training.
You will probably agree that if you put into action at least part of what I suggested to you, your self-confidence will increase significantly. The main thing is not to stop and lose strength. It is important to practice and follow the advice on a regular basis, as you will develop a habit that will allow you to develop your self-confidence throughout your life. A year will pass, then two and you will feel the effectiveness. You will become more confident. Having achieved any goal, you will become inspired. You will love it and want to move on. You will no longer stand still. Reach new people with you.
Don't delay time, start acting right now. Minutes are priceless, cherish every second. Think positively, enjoy every moment, learn from failures! There is only one life and is it worth wasting it on doubts and obstacles?
Affirmations for self-confidence
Often, due to lack of self-confidence, a person creates obstacles for himself to move forward, leaving desires and goals behind. He gives up and stops acting: doing things that would help him take a step towards new achievements. His self-esteem falls, his inner world collapses. But is it worth thinking that you are doomed to failure and nothing good awaits you?
There is a very simple answer to this question: NO!!! Every person should at least try. And in order to help yourself gain confidence, I suggest one way to increase self-esteem - the use of affirmations in combination with meditation. Throughout the day, use specific words (provided below as examples) that you can say out loud. Also, meditate for half an hour - this way you will balance your inner world and give yourself the “BE CONFIDENT” attitude!
Don't try to achieve national recognition, love or great success. Your main task is to accept yourself as you are. Show off your individuality. Attract goodness and happiness into your life. Learn to respect your positive (sweet) sides. Don't dwell on failures, troubles, problems and shortcomings.
Here are some examples of affirmations to increase confidence:
- I accept myself as/as I am;
- I have always loved, love and will love every part of myself and my inner world;
- I deserve only the best;
- I look at my positive sides and always work on them;
- I choose which path to follow and realize my desires;
- I feel absolutely confident/confident;
- I will always find a way out of any situation and make the right decision;
- I value my abilities;
- I have a positive attitude towards change and learn from everything, enjoying life;
- I am the creator of my destiny and I will make myself happy/happy;
- I experience only bright emotions and am confident in every day;
- Only I am responsible for my life, and it will be wonderful;
- I express my thoughts clearly and comprehensively and remain confident in any situation;
- No one and nothing will break me - I am full of strength for new achievements;
- I will make the world a better place!
There are other examples, but not even in the way the sentence is constructed. An important point is that the affirmation must be spoken from the soul - from a pure heart. With good intentions and saying “I am sure” will be material.
Self Confidence Mantra
A mantra is a tool necessary for self-improvement. Its peculiarity lies in the fact that, in combination with meditative techniques, it carries a powerful energy charge. The divine power of the mantra materializes, it is capable of fulfilling any human desire!
With its help you can gain confidence, find answers to the most tricky questions destiny, to comprehend the truth of life and one’s purpose. In the process of the mantra described below, the soul finds harmony, needs are satisfied, despite the fact that you do not voice them out loud.
Say the mantra during meditation and boost your self-confidence:
“Ardas Bhai, Amardas Guru, Amardas Guru, Ardas Bhai.
Ram Das Guru, Ram Das Guru, Ram Das Guru, Sachi Sai."
What books should I read to become confident?
Today there are a huge number of books written about confidence. One of the most famous and recognized by society is the book by a teacher at Stanford University - Carol Dweck "Flexible Consciousness". She is one of the WORLD'S leading experts in the field of motivation.
If we talk briefly about the content, then we can say with confidence that from the book you will learn that the mind and talent given by nature are amenable to change. We will be talking about people with a fixed consciousness who ardently believe that the 2 said qualities are unchangeable. And that they are deeply mistaken about this. Carol Dweck will show with examples that intelligence and talent can be developed and improved.
This approach develops a love of continuous learning and resistance to hardships and failures. It is unlikely that there will be at least one person who does not have such qualities!
An equally famous and beloved book is the book of the speaker and writer of German origin Bodo Schaefer "Laws of Winners". In my opinion, it is easy to read. Its content includes thirty theoretical laws that successful, mature individuals adhere to. Also, as you read, you will become familiar with thirty practical exercises. You can start doing these exercises at any time, but the sooner the better, as they say!
Once you understand the essence of what is written, you will gain positive emotions. Your soul will be filled with bright colors, and a smile will appear on your face!!!
Book by E. Muir - “Self-Confidence”
One of my favorite books is Alice Muir's manuscript, Self-Confidence. A book for working on yourself."
Lack of self-confidence will not allow you to succeed in the professional field, since business includes many situations in which you will have to leave your comfort zone. And the more confident you feel, the more success you can achieve, from simple meetings and negotiations to sales and managing subordinates.
This book will help you expand your comfort zone in the workplace and introduce you to how to:
- Organize control over what is happening regardless of the situation;
- Express your opinion and defend your point of view;
- Say “NO” without hurting people’s feelings;
- It is more effective to overcome criticism from others;
- Look confident even though you don't feel confident;
- Make an excellent first impression when meeting;
- Be more resilient to all sorts of stressful situations and troubles.
The huge number of tests and exercises described in the book will help you evaluate yourself on various criteria and help you systematically improve your confidence by focusing your efforts on the most important skills and talents.
"Self confidence. A book for working on yourself" is ideal for reading for people who want to speak publicly with great success, establish a good relationship with others and cope with any stress at work.
Book by E. Robert “Secrets of Self-Confidence”
Anthony Robert "Secrets of Self-Confidence" - this book was created with one sole purpose - to help people live the most productive and joyful lives. Its content contains 50 ideas, in the form of historical examples and life observations. They will give you a clear and the simplest picture circumstances in which we find ourselves on a daily basis. With these ideas you will understand the essence of life, learn to behave differently and think differently. Thanks to this, you will be able to build a different life plan, choose other paths.
How to become a confident man?
Before you start working on yourself, you need to understand what qualities a man must have. Many people mistakenly believe that charisma can give confidence, and showing off one’s talents is a sign of self-confidence. I hasten to disappoint you - this is an erroneous judgment. 
In order to become a confident man, you must have the following qualities:
- Kindness is not putting yourself above another person. It is important not to avoid responsibility. It is necessary to cultivate a leader in yourself, but without forgetting sincere feelings and warmth.
A man who is able to combine two opposing qualities - compassion + strength - will attract people to him, and he himself will gain confidence.
- Firmness (stand firmly on your feet), perseverance and patience.
Becoming successful and self-confident does not equate to achieving championship honors or being called a “millionaire.” The point is to be aware of your goals and achieve its realization gradually but authentically.
- Ambition, modesty and dreaminess combined.
By becoming a realist and a dreamer at the same time, a male representative will be able to fully realize his ambitions, as a result of which he will do any “feats” to improve his life.
- Physical activity is the main component of external attractiveness.
With absence of this quality It is difficult to gain confidence and improve your self-esteem.
- Sharpness (in moderation).
Such men are often more attractive to the fairer sex, but the main thing is not to overdo it, as this will scare people away from you.
- Smiling and cheerful.
If you are able to bring a smile to another person’s face, lift their spirits and give them positive emotions, you can be sure that you are a strong person.
- To be loving is important to show this feeling in action, deeds, and not idle talk.
It is also necessary to make compromises under “insoluble” circumstances. Of course, it is difficult for a confident person to step over himself, knowing that he is right, but think about the fact that the truth does not always bring happiness. There is no need to defend your point of view if it will harm you or a loved one.
- Help when you are asked for help.
Give a hand to someone who cannot cope without outside help. Lend your strong shoulder from those moments when another person needs support and care. It is possible that in this way you will not increase your self-confidence, but you will find “YOURSELF”, which is sometimes much more important.
How to develop confidence in a child?
Surely no one will argue with the statement that confident people achieve much greater success than shy and insecure people? Of course not! This is why it is so important to early age develop qualities in a child confident person. But is everything so simple on the path to education? This may be an overwhelming task for some, but every parent should set an example for the future generation.
Let's look at a few games that will allow you to build a sense of confidence in your child:
- Give the “little genius” the opportunity to look at himself from the outside. Together with the children, draw yourself on a piece of paper. This must be done in such a way that everyone does not know where someone else's drawing is located. Mix all the leaves thoroughly. Pass the drawings around and talk about what is missing in the picture.
The correct conclusion about today emotional state children allow the details of the story to be revealed.
- This game is aimed at developing willpower and faith. Take a blank sheet of paper and write down everything you have done that day on it.
Thanks to this method, everyone will be able to analyze their actions, and perhaps learn a lesson from “today.” The child will think about what he could have done more. It is likely that in this way he will talk about his dreams.
- A game that will allow your child to believe in themselves. Invite your child to describe himself, talk about how he imagines himself.
If he describes himself in bright colors and with positive emotions, there is a high probability that he is endowed with the qualities of a confident person. In case everything happened exactly the opposite, you should tell him about his best sides so that he believes in himself and his strength. This must be done with extreme caution, without overestimating its merits.
- The game is “resolving conflict situations.” Come up with some kind of conflict and invite your child to react to it. This must be done very quickly so that there is no time to think. Write down the words your child says, and then carefully analyze everything with your family.
Thanks to this method you will develop a quick response in your child. The whole family should exercise to create a comfort zone.
- A game to strengthen faith. Teach your child to value his positive qualities and advantages. Stand as a family in a circle and take turns saying three to each other. nice words. The words should reflect what you like about the person. This could be a character trait, behavior or a highlight in appearance.
By systematically performing the above-described exercises and games, children will learn to correctly and quickly express their thoughts, sensations, feelings and gain greater self-confidence.
Movies about confidence
We all know very well how changeable moods are. Sometimes even a smile loved one can lift you to heaven, and sometimes, a rude word from a loved one can drive you into depression. When such moments come, I recommend taking a break and watching a couple of films that can open up new horizons. They will allow you to understand one important thing: “there is always a chance to change everything in your soul and around you.”
Here are a few motivating films:
- "Dangerous Minds"
This masterpiece of cinematography is more for women, since at the center of the events is a female heroine. She finds herself in an environment that can disturb the mind. But having found the strength in herself, the heroine sets a goal for herself - to teach the rebels a lesson, teach them self-respect and try to find an approach to them.
- "Invisible side"
This film tells us about a white family that takes in an obese, illiterate, homeless black teenager. They help him become a sports star and enter the University.
After looking at the “invisible side” you will understand that you should not be offended by the whole world. No matter what the circumstances, there is no need to become rude and harsh.
- "Joy"
A modern story that tells about 4 generations of a family. The heroine of this film is a girl named Joy, who is trying to gain confidence. Step by step, she fully develops this quality in herself and “turns into a woman.” Joy becomes the head of a business dynasty, proving to everyone that confidence is the key to excellence!
Still from the movie "The Shawshank Redemption" The plot centers on Andy Dufresne, a middle-aged guy who lived an ordinary life. But it came crucial moment- his wife and lover are killed, and he himself is accused of this crime. The convict ends up in a prison with the same name “Shawshank”. Morally, he was not prepared for such events; prison was not his world! But is this really so - harsh life poses such a question to him!
How to increase self-confidence is not an easy question. But today there are many known methods, exercises, tests and games that you can use. Everything depends only on you. Until you take action, nothing will change. There is no need to expect any gifts from life. You yourself are the creators of your own destiny. So don’t feel sorry for yourself, work hard on yourself, sparing no effort and time. All in your hands. Make up your mind now, and tomorrow you will achieve something more than you expected! Finally, we recommend that you watch a video about self-confidence.
Most likely, it will not be a secret to you that usually self-confident men are much more successful in all areas of life than those who were unable to overcome some fears and complexes. If you belong to the second type, then you should not think that everything is lost - you may well gain self-confidence and set off to conquer cherished heights. So, where should you look for the origins of your insecurity? Upbringing. Most often, men's lack of self-confidence is precisely the result of upbringing - it comes from childhood. Often formed in preschool age, when parents begin to loudly compare their child with his more skilled peer: “But Petya never gives his mother any trouble!”, “Misha already knows how to count to ten, but you don’t yet!” etc. Such behavior on the part of the father or mother often provides their child with a whole baggage of problems - he gradually develops a loser complex, which he eventually transfers into adolescence, and then into adulthood. Appearance. Some men are unhappy with their appearance, and as a result, this develops into serious self-doubt. We can talk about uneven teeth, emerging baldness, body features, or some external defects. Weak potency. Weak potency and other problems of a sexual nature are often the cause of self-doubt. The realization that a partner may be seriously dissatisfied unsettles many men. Goals are too high. It also happens that a man develops low self-esteem if he sets too high and, at times, simply unattainable goals for himself. Having not achieved the task, he begins to feel dissatisfied, this, of course, lowers his self-confidence.
An insecure and a confident man - what's the difference?
First, let's determine what an insecure man looks like, how does he behave? Let’s also “take a closer look” at a confident man. Not confident man A young man with low self-esteem often approaches everything with a high degree of skepticism, and sometimes even with hostility. It is not easy for him to maintain relationships with fellow students and colleagues, as well as with his partner. Most often, on a subconscious level, they choose similar women for themselves, which then, in turn, negatively affects the upbringing of their common children. Often, insecure men have a rather sloppy appearance and generally look unkempt. However, there are also those with low self-esteem who try in every possible way to disguise this feature, and therefore are overly scrupulous about their own appearance. It is easy for such people to make friends. Also, conflicts often occur in their family life. When a person feels insecure, he tends to blame others for his failures and mistakes. A man with low self-esteem is most often uncommunicative and withdrawn into himself. He is often subject to the opinions and influence of others. What kind of image of a self-confident man has developed in modern society? Such a man will not allow fear to interfere with his success. It may be about the fear of being rejected, making a mistake, or receiving a new reprimand. All these fears force insecure young people to stay away, but a self-confident representative of the stronger half of humanity understands that living in fear means not taking advantage of the opportunities that life gives. Such cowardice can have a negative impact on your career, love relationships, friendship, and simply on morale. A man who does not suffer from low self-esteem realizes that fear can appear at any moment, but at the same time he knows how to overcome this “enemy.” He will not live only in his own comfort zone - he is not a stranger to risk, exploring uncharted territories. Also, he will not do something to please someone. You've probably seen young people who go astray from their intended path in order to satisfy, for example, a girl's whim. A mature man will not do this - if he has chosen a certain path and understands that it can bring good results in the future, he will continue the business. He monitors his health, plays sports, develops, expanding his knowledge in areas that seem interesting or promising to him. A confident man does not look for an “ideal partner,” thereby following the lead of some of his complexes. He initially understands that women, like men, have not only strengths, but also weaknesses, shortcomings, and fears. He allows a woman to be weak and does not require her to live up to his expectations.
How to increase self-confidence
To boost your self-confidence, follow some effective tips. Don't make a fuss It is important to avoid fuss and haste - they can only be justified in the most urgent cases, and such situations rarely happen in life. It is necessary to develop resistance to stress. Find time every day to relax and disconnect from all thoughts, at least for a few minutes. Get Organized Make plans, be organized, plan ahead. You must clearly understand where you are now, where you want to be, and what needs to be done to achieve this. Don't leave situations to chance. Be prepared to adjust your plan as needed, and understand that this is normal—don't be afraid of the unexpected. If possible, foresee in advance all possible developments of a particular situation, analyze what is best to do in case of a particular outcome. In this case, “unpleasant surprises” will be minimized Set yourself achievable goals Completing the tasks you set for yourself will help you gain self-confidence. They can be very simple or a little more complicated, but the main thing is to initially understand that they are quite achievable. An example would be cooking some interesting dish, mastering snowboarding, visiting sports training and so on. Once you complete a task, reward yourself for it. Don’t forget about your even the smallest achievements - they all become the foundation for building a whole personality. So, what qualities can be characterized as the inner male core? First of all, we are talking about a clearly structured system of one’s own life priorities. It is also important to distinguish between what is important to you and what is not. Man with internal rod consistent in his thoughts and actions. He does not depend on other people's opinions and assessments. How to achieve this
- Determine your main life goals, to which other things in your life will be subordinated. Choose your own mission, which will give direction to the development of your inner core. Take significant place self-development in your life, remembering that there are no obstacles to this goal, but only excuses. Decide for yourself what exactly you want to learn and take action. Devote more time to gaining new knowledge, reading, and acquiring practical skills. It is important to constantly learn something in order to develop and move forward. Don’t be afraid to gain your own life experience - this is the foundation for your development. Only a man can have an inner core, but not a boy. That is why leave all childhood grievances and complaints in the past, stop blaming your family for today’s and past failures, and start building your own life.
How to deal with low self-esteem if your environment humiliates you
Firstly, if your environment humiliates you, this is the first reason to change it. Yes, you can fight “against everyone” and try to achieve success, but in the current situation this is hardly possible. You need to distance yourself from people who lower your self-esteem. It is also useful to spend more time with new acquaintances - sign up for some training or courses, start communicating with new people. If you again encounter humiliation from others, then this is a serious reason to analyze what is the real reason similar attitude. Most likely, you will not be able to do this without the help of a psychologist. Be sure to make an appointment - do not deprive yourself of the chance to improve your life and overcome your own complexes.